The amazing disappearing month...

Almost June! I can't believe it. May has vaporized, vanished in the haze that is the first, timeless month in a baby's life. I know we have been out and about, we have done projects around the house and been festive and summery already. We've even, honestly, gotten a fair amount of sleep, all children being considered. Yet the days have still managed to blend together and leave for memories only the vague impression of diapers, dishes, and the weight of a baby on my chest...

Looking at Ivy, sleeping in her carrier next to me-- how she has changed! Our lives may be filled with stasis but she is changing at a rate that will never happen for her again.... Her newborn chicken legs are filling out, little rolls showing up in perfect-pink skin. She is, unfortunately, developing a case of baby acne (she has asked that photos not be published until she gets over this particular spate of pimples on her right cheek...) but her face is becoming more formed each day. She has some pretty impressive head control when we hold her on our chest or put her on her tummy. We attribute this to the fact that her head is so teeny and thus easy to lift. She is a strong little monkey and very active when she is awake, arms and legs kicking. She will "stand" on my lap and push off against my legs when she's a bit on the frustrated side. My favorite thing is the way she'll grab onto my hand, with her arms AND her little feet and legs, when she's on her back. Really, a little monkey! One of her favorite times of day is diaper time-- she is fussy about a wet or messy diaper and loves to be changed and cleaned up. She'll visibly relax when the dry diaper goes on and the moments after being changed are some of the nicest bits of quiet alert time we get with her. She lays there with a look of wonderment on her face, little mouth in an "O". She loves leg and foot massages and simply melts into them...

Today's big project has been finishing the deck and gazebo project and hosting a little Memorial Day get-together. Nat has simply been a dynamo in getting this done. Mom, Becca, Kevin, Melinda, Will and the girls came over for a lunchtime cookout. Of course, in the way that weather seems to have, it rained right at lunch time so we did not get to use the newly completed deck. But, the weather cleared in the afternoon and Melinda and Will, who stayed to hang out, helped us finish everything up. We now have a 12x12 deck with a 10x10 gazebo on it, complete with lights and lanterns. Now all we need is for patio furniture to go on sale-- new outdoor dining set, here we come! We've spent a lovely day sitting around enjoying the fruits of Nat's labor, and did manage to eat dinner on the deck before it rained again. It's a baby-riffic gathering we have, with 3 carriers full of babies in the room right now! I think Jack has been a bit overwhelmed by the amassed infants around all day. He's been a little ball of chaos this afternoon, wandering around getting into things he knows full-well he's not supposed to get into just to get our attention. I love him, I love him so much. But oh, there were some moments today that I really wished someone would take our boy on vacation. Just for a little while...

It is a lovely sunny day. A leisurely day. A morning spent watching the lake and my boy, digging in the sand. An afternoon spent in the cool dark of the house, the sun sneaking in at a slant through the porch, holding my sleeping girl. Time to tell you a few of the things I love about my children, right now.

The girl:

She is part turtle, part dinosaur. She is tiny (though less so every day!) and delicate, pink encased in pink with at least one ruffle or bow on her every day. Rosebud lips and long, pale eyelashes and hair that is just starting to curl, the tiniest bit, in the back. And then-- snort, grunt... face contorted, scowling, pouting, arms up and flailing... grunt some more... these strange, loud dinosaur noises come out of this small soft thing, accompanied by the most dramatic faces. And, as quick as she starts, she'll flop back into complete relaxation, full-abandon, rag-doll-armed slumber. And flash a sleep-smile at me, a smile that says, there, got that out of my system, all's right with the world again. A smile of utter contentment that gives a glimpse of the little girl to come.

I can only dream that this contentment and ease will continue for her... all the way to the teenage years, right? A mom can dream....

Ivy continues to take her sleep very seriously. She is probably still sleeping 20 hours a day, with short awake periods (5-45 minutes) throughout the day, mostly morning and evening, and then a nice, awake, somewhat crabby and demanding period somewhere around midnight.

We are approaching the 3-week mark, at which point we will begin to see her true colors. I am crossing lots of fingers that her true colors prove to be a sleeper and a consolable fusser. I know babies fuss. She is bound to have her crabby moments, bound to be uncomfortable and gassy and hard to live with at times. So far, those times are manageable. A little bouncing, some position changes, a lot of burping, and we can keep the crying to a minimum. Our sleepy, grunty, content baby is usually back in a matter of minutes or certainly a few hours. Stay this way, sweet girl, please?

Another thing I love about her: She still smells amazing. I love to nestle her in on my chest, a little ball of baby, feet cradled in my hand and the top of her fuzzy little head right there under my chin. A sniff away. And easy to kiss.

The boy:

Most of what I love about the boy at the moment can't be described. Because it's not even the things he says these days, but rather the way he says them. The inflection in his voice and the soft little mispronunciations of his speech and his oh-so-serious demeanor combine to make him utterly, stinking irresistable. I am a sucker for this kid. And the problem is, he knows it. You can see it in the sparkle in those gorgeous blue eyes-- this boy knows he's got his mama wrapped around his sweet, grubby pinkie finger. He tests the limits all the time but he generally tests them in a way that makes it impossible for me to get angry. This morning, as we had a getting-used-to-the day snuggle on his bed (he's in the toddler bed all the time now, by the way...) he looks up at me with those sparkly eyes and says in his best sleepy-voice, "watch tv???" I said, "Jack, since when do we watch TV first thing in the morning?" So he pauses, then looks up again and says, "cookies." Just like that, like it's a given that I will produce cookies for him at 7:30 in the morning. Eventually we did agree on waffles and I had a wonderful time with my chef's helper stirring in the applesauce and shaking on the cinnamon to make breakfast...
Another e
xample of how the boy gets away with everything can be viewed in the video below. Our "family fun" activity yesterday was to clean the porch. Nat and I started this escapade without the boy, but it is easy to forget just how much he loves to help. He was interested in what we were doing and so we gave him his own rag and before we knew it we had an overjoyed toddler stomping around the wet porch (in his socks, mind you), sloshing dirty water onto the floor and exclaiming "Tee?? It make red! I'm getting it darker!" and gleefully saying "This is awesome! We're making gray!" as he looked into the bucket. Who knew it would be such a good time? And the porch really does look better...

For the record, this was taken AFTER he'd been told to come inside for a bath and a nap. So you can see how well that went for me. I had gone out to tell him that it was time to come in, and the part you don't see on the video was him looking at me, sweet and serious, and saying, "Well, mommy, I'm just brushin this and so I can get it clean. Oh yeah! Let's do it!" Melt me.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_qushx99AkrA/TAA4Spbo1sI/AAAAAAAACbg/CVJyPw5Bw1I/s144/may%202010%20Ivy%20almost%203%20weeks%20042.jpg

guess who?

This one happens to be Jack, at about 4 weeks old. Thank goodness for the pink hearts Ivy is wearing in the picture below or we might not be able to tell them apart! I think there may be a family resemblance going on here, eh?
Many thanks to Grampa Jon for finding this picture to compare...

Time to wake up!

Ivy is really coming alive these past few days, waking up more and more, and starting to interact with us and her world rather than sleeping 22 hours a day... As with most developments in the world of parenting, this can be a good or a bad thing. Good when its 3pm and I have nothing else to do for an hour than snuggle and tickle and look at the alert, kicking baby. Bad when that same alert, kicking baby is also grunting and fussing and it happens to be 2am. Sigh.

While Ivy is far from being on any sort of schedule, she is seeming to develop some patterns. One is that charming awake period that falls, for about 2 hours, between 11pm and 3am. She is getting pretty endearing when she's quietly alert but during that night-time jag she seems to invariably have some pretty interesting things going on with her digestive system and will squawk and grunt and fuss and cry until she finally works out a few burps and a good poop. Then, finally, she'll relax. Can't complain too much as, after 3am, she is regularly giving us 4-6 hour stretches of sleep, as long as she's in bed with us. I believe she WANTS to be asleep at night, she's such a good girl... her tummy is just getting in the way.

Her daytime routine is more varied and includes a number of periods of time wherein she lays peacefully, silently asleep on her back in the pack and play, causing us to continually repeat the phrase "Why can't she sleep like this at night??" She's now working in 1-3 nice awake hours, too. We aren't quite sure what to do with her during those times, but luckily she's not picky and seems to get as much out of looking at the inside wall of the moses basket as she does being looked at and cooed at by us. She's really a pretty easy kid.


In other news, we had a busy day of outings yesterday. We started off the morning (a glorious, splendidly sunny morning!) with a family trip to the Hessler Street Fair. Nice way to start the day, looking at booths-of-crap with the hippies. We only had to pull back into the driveway two times for things we forgot. I think we're gradually getting better at this family-of-four thing. Well, five, really, as we took the dog with us. As always the dog got more comments than the baby. To her credit the baby was under a cover for most of the walk-- we were very hard core and did not use strollers-- we each wore a kid, Jack in the backpack and Ivy in the sling. We had a lovely time, finishing the morning with a picnic and fountain play in a lovely green on the Case campus.

Then I took the kids to the West side and gave Nat the afternoon off. We took Ivy and Jack to visit Bill and then had a nice time chatting with Ariel, Steve, and baby Leira who came to visit my mom. It was a lovely day of visiting but I must say I've gotten rather used to the afternoon nap that I missed yesterday...

2 weeks already!

OK, seriously. It seems like only a moment ago I was uploading 1 week pictures for you all. And here we are at 2 weeks. Time flies, when it is not 11pm with a sick toddler and a spitting up baby. Those hours still manage to take up a lot of time. Even as the weeks hurtle along...

We had a fun day today-- our first venture to the zoo as a family of 4. It was nice to prove we could do it, and we had a lot of fun, even if we did get rained on and only really stayed long enough to visit Australia and take Jack on the train. We'll definitely be heading back soon. We may summer at the zoo this year...

And for those of you who are interested in the big kid too-- a little snapshot to prove that, annoying as his behavior may be these days, he is in fact the most handsome little devil in the world...

Dr. Visits and Belly Buttons...

We have been to the pediatrician 3 times now in as many days.

Poor Jackie-bear has continued his illness all week. He visited the doctor on Wednesday to be checked for a possible ear infection- nope. He also had a strep culture-- negative there too. Thursday his illness evolved to include a pinprick rash on his hands and belly and feet... back to the doctor we went. We were informed that this was a normal progression of a virus, nothing to worry about, nothing to do about it but wait. Ugh. In the meantime the boy has been on a continuing hunger strike, most likely due to his very sore and inflamed throat, and his overall mood has left something to be desired. Poor pumpkin.

Today we all marched back to see Dr. Mann again, this time for Ivy's 2 week well-baby check up. Yes, so far she still appears to be a well baby, despite sharing the house with her affectionate, germ-machine big brother. She was pronounced to be "perfect", on track in all the ways a 2 week old is supposed to be on track--basic responses to sound and light, eating and peeing and pooping, working on her head control, all that jazz.

Her current stats:

Height: 20 inches-- 50%
Weight: 8lbs 3.5 oz--50%
Head: 25% -- we have another small-headed child, apparently...

Today at the doctor we were also given a name for Jack's mystery virus-- hand, foot and mouth disease. Exciting, huh? Dr. Mann said the progression of his rash clarified it, but that we still should neither worry nor try to do anything. Oh well, at least we have a name to blame for kiddo's misery now.

The girl has been "waking up" a bit today. Not that she's really had more than her usual 1-2 hours of total awake time, but she does appear to be asserting her personality more when she is awake. Real cries when she's upset at us (for instance, when being undressed for her weigh in today) and overall she is appearing more "formed" and a bit more with it when she is awake... We are hoping that this "wake up" will include more time to get to know this little person without a big increase in fussiness. Fingers crossed that she continues to be the easy girl she's been so far, only with eyes open from time to time...

One last update before we head off to attempt some sleep (last night, for the record = not the best of nights for any of us): At some point last night Ivy lost her umbilical cord! Jack made sure to point out to the Dr. today: "Look! Her have a belly button now!"

Deep thoughts from Jack

Tonight, driving.

Jack: I smell something in the car.

Mom: What do you smell, what does it smell like?

Jack: It smells like a car. With something in it.

Coughing and grunting...

....These are the current noises in our household. The boy has come down with a lovely cold this week. Up at night coughing, a fever yesterday and today. He continues to be on a hunger strike this morning though he is apparently feeling a bit better-- out helping Daddy build a deck instead of whining and clinging to Mommy as he did allllll day yesterday. Long day yesterday. There was certainly a small part of me that liked having a few extra cuddles from my boy, but not at the cost of his feverish, uncomfortable self. We are hoping that he is on the mend now...

The girl has not yet come down with the cold, though we are keeping an eye on a very slightly stuffy nose. Her new noise is the grunting. OK, not new, but with increasing vigor the past few days. She'll appear to be peacefully asleep when she'll contort her face and let out a very prehistoric-sounding grunt. Or perhaps grumble. Or a combination. Then, by the time you have a chance to notice and wonder what the problem might be-- back to sleep she goes. There seems to a slight correlation with grunting and having a wet or dirty diaper. The little lady may have a very sensitive bum? And of course there is far, far more grunting at night. I swear she grunts more and its not just that we notice it more in the quiet of the bedroom. During the day the child will lay quietly, peacefully asleep for up to 45 minutes, flat on her back in the pack and play, arms splayed out to the side with abandon. We tried to replicate this behavior last night 4 different times. Instant grunting each time. And she's just so little. I can't make myself leave her to "grunt it out" just yet. Not to mention that it's hard to sleep with a baby dinosaur making noise in the next room. So she is still coming in bed with us, where she turtles herself up next to me and sleeps in complete silence for hours at a time.

Thoughts...

Apparently writing and finishing a narrative post for the blog is eluding me... so here is a little list of noticings and happenings and thoughts from the past few days:

* Ivy's one week birthday was on Saturday. We celebrated by propping her in her green chair with a stuffed bear. Ideally this activity will not be met with such a scrunched up face in future weeks.... here is the best shot of the lot. Amazingly, she has both eyes open here! It might actually have been more appropriate if she'd been asleep.


We continue to be unable to determine the exact color of Ivy's eyes. The best I can do is-- Steely blue laid over a mix of sand, moss, and glassy gray. At times they look black and bottomless, or turn into mirrors of the world around...

* Last night we did our first arts and crafts project as a family: hand and foot prints of both little ones, to hang in the nursery. I wish we'd had another adult on hand to capture the event on film, as we painted Ivy's hands and contorted ourselves to get them onto the paper... and she slept blissfully through it all. I must say, too, that she has got the most perfect feet in the world. Nat can do a mean baby footprint, and we have got some lovely momentos of this time in her life when her feet can be called little, and perfect. My son, incidentally, has got huge feet. Giant. Ivy's arrival seems to have caused him to have a major growth spurt or something. :)

Jack was leery of the foot painting at first (though he is an expert and hand prints and painted his own hand). Of course, after we'd done a foot print in black and in white, with him squirming and protesting, he said, "Let's do that again... its pretty fun!" Booger.

* In other Jack news, the kid has definitely made another verbal leap this week. The syntax and length of his sentences, and his overall vocabulary, astound me. That is, when he is not speaking in nonsense words, baby talk, or refusing to answer our questions entirely. That's another new development this week.

Here are some great things he's said:
On the car ride home from Melinda and Will's house the other night: "It's getting pretty late. When we get home, I watch videos, then books, then take a nap, that's right!"

"That's right!" is his new tag line for lots of things. It's hard to capture in words the way he says it, a little lilt to his voice, the words strung onto his sentence with barely a pause...

"It's magical for me!" --about some body wash in the bathtub.

"If you don't have any Purell, I can get some for you"-- said in the voice of the Purell bottle, of course, as he marched it around the table offering to make our hands clean like his, with the "tanitier". (We are getting a lot of use out of the sanitizer as Jack has come down with a nice little cold to celebrate Ivy's one-week birthday. Thank goodness for Benadryl at night.)

* Ivy's new developments include sleeping a lot. This child continues to be very serious about sleep. During the day, that is. Right now, for instance, she is blissfully asleep, on he back, arms flung wide, in her pack and play. Of course the little rule breaker is covered by a loose blanket so that probably helps. At night, when we attempt to recreate this scene she immediately begins to grunt and squeak and make strange little dinosaur noises until we bring her in bed with us, when she conks out again. We've found, oddly, that she is sleeping better when she is NOT swaddled. This is strange, no? Tonight, we may try just dressing her warmly and flopping her in the pack and play the way she is right now, and see how it goes. Not that I can really complain. I am up more often for continued itching than I am to deal with her overnight. Nat has been taking her out to the living room during her nightly alert time, which happens at varying times between 11pm and 3am, and I get an hour or more of baby-free sleep. And when she is in bed with me, she really does sleep well, 2-4 hour stretches. I sleep lightly with her there, but sleep is sleep.

Thinking of sleeping babies-- time to go wake this one to make her eat. Weird kid. :)

the best part of the day...

Afternoon naps, curled up next to this.

Off to go do that now...

more pics....

days 3-6...

First Doctor's Appointment

We have just returned home from Ivy's first pediatrician appointment. Well, actually it was a lactation consultant appointment. That's how cool our practice is.

We are pleased to report that little girl is back above her birth weight-- by a grand total of .2 ounces-- weighing in today at 7 pounds, 9.6 ounces. Yep, she's a rock star. That's a gain of over 5 ounces since midday Monday. I am pretty impressed with her.

She continues to be a pretty easy pumpkin. We tried having her sleep for a bit in the pack and play last night. With diligent maintenance (shushing, jiggling the crib, pacifier) we did get her to sleep for a few 10 minute stretches between 9 and 11. Then we brought her into bed where she passed out for 2-3 hours at a time. The girl likes our bed, apparently. We got permission today to let her stretch out her nighttime feeds, which is great. Had to work pretty hard to get her to wake up to eat at 4am last night, which is rather counter-intuitive behavior.

Right now she is crashed out in the moses basket on the couch next to me, looking adorable in her brown fleece sleeper. (yes, a fleece sleeper in May-- it has been in the 50s and rainy since we've been home. Bleh.) Not a bad life. Nat has the boy out at group at the Parent Center. Hopefully he is having a grand time there; he deserves it as the appointment was not much fun for him. Boring toys in the exam room AND he managed to both fall down the stairs in the tree house and shut his hand in a door while we were there. Poor pumpkin. He actually looks kind of tough with the bit of rug burn next to his eye...

4 days

Today Ivy is 4 days old already. We have been home for 2. It seems like much longer than that! I am not sure if that is because Ivy seems like such a natural part of the family already... or because of how trying our little boy has been and how tired we are!

There are good parts and not so good parts to our days. The good parts:
When Jack comes in to the room in the morning and he and Ivy and lay in bed together for a while. When Ivy and I nap together in the afternoon, skin to skin cuddliness and warmth. When Ivy is fussing and then, the moment I pick her up, she quiets in my arms. The look on her face when she finishes nursing, all contentment and innocence. The smell of her little head and the perfect shape of her feet. The way Jack gives her eskimo kisses and touches her so gently-- during the 30 seconds at a time he is interested in her, that is!

The not-so-good parts: When Jack refuses to (fill in the blank: eat, pick something up, follow another direction, stop doing something, give the dog her rawhide, walk down the stairs, etc etc etc-- the list could go on) and we get upset with him. When we can't decide quite what to do with the baby at night-- are we co-sleeping again (it does seem we are...) or are we going to stick to our guns and keep trying her in her crib? The frustration that comes with not getting enough sleep and being out of our routine. How edgy we all are with each other, not used to being together so often, or in such a new way.

Overall, the "baby" part of this is easy. SO much easier the second time around. In fact I cannot quite comprehend what we were complaining about, how we thought it was so difficult, when we just had one little newborn Jack in our lives. Ivy continues to be a spectacularly easy baby, so far (though we did see a bit more alert time this evening and 1-3 minutes of fussing, rather than the continuous sleep she has been doing). But I think the biggest factor is how much more relaxed we are about her, how our expectations have adjusted for her. I am having a hard time being dilligent about charting her ins and outs; we just trust we are doing all right (we'll hopefully get confirmation of this tomorrow at our 4 day pedi follow up appointment). Remember how spastic we were with recording every detail of Jack's existence? How spastic we were with him in general?

Sadly the person who always bears the brunt of our expectations continues to be little man Jack. Poor firstborn. We haven't yet been able to adjust our expectations for him, it seems. We know, rationally, that his behavior changes since we've been home are normal, expected. Yet we still seem to be continually impatient and frustrated with him, as he vies for attention, purposefully pushes our buttons, talks back-- and did I mention refuses to eat? In some ways he seems so very grown up- he walks! he talks!-- but his dependence on us in underscored by the little misbehaviors he engages in all day, to ensure we are still noticing him. Poor sweetheart. This is what I need to work on, being more understanding of him and how difficult this must be for him, how he is feeling. To try to understand his behavior and accept it and then figure out how to deal with it, rather than just jumping to a "stop it!" response right away.

And in the midst of this are baths to give, meals to prepare, a bathroom and a refrigerator that are really in need of some bathroom-and-refrigerator-cleaning fairies... I am feeling a bit better each day but not yet up to housework, or much of the rest of it. I did manage to tuck in my boy tonight while Nat worked with little girl on spending time in her crib. It was nice to return to that bit of routine and remember what an amazing, smart little man we have as we compared and discussed diggers and tractors together. We'll settle in, eventually.

She's here!!

Ivy Jane Morehouse

Welcome to Jack and Ivy's blog!

Jack's sister arrived on Saturday, May 8th at 5:42pm, weighing just 7 pounds 9 ounces (she seems so tiny!!) and measuring 20 inches long. We had a really amazing labor experience; for those who care to read it, I am including Ivy's birth story below...

We came home from the hospital yesterday evening and we are gradually adjusting to our new lives as a family of four. Jack had a fun weekend with his Lulu and Gramgram but certainly missed mom and dad, as evidenced by a bit of an eating strike and a case of diareah and diaper rash (which he NEVER gets). So he's been a bit on the whiny side and "recovering" himself since we've been home. It's also got to be hard for him to have this strange, tired, emotional version of his mom around. I feel bad that I cannot move around and play with him the way I want to, and Nat and I both admit we've been a bit snippier with the boy than we'd like to be. Of course, to our credit, he has been a bit needier and edgier and pushing-the-limits-er than he usually is. Lots of "WHY??" and "I don't WANT to" when we ask him to do things... Lots, too, of precious and perfect moments, when he reaches out a little hand (but such a BIG hand) to touch Ivy's hand and say "What's the matter, baby?" in absolutely the sweetest voice you can imagine. He asks to hold "my baby" often and offers to share his food with her constantly. What a sweetheart. Last night I tried to explain to him that Ivy is just too little to eat pizza yet. So Jack carefully broke off the tiniest piece possible and said, "here, this is little like my tister!" I do love him so.

But who would think I would say that the newborn is the easy one!!

Ivy really is a ridiculously easy baby so far. Knock on wood! I know it will change soon, she is just in that "sleepy newborn" stage but really-- she sleeps pretty much all the time. If she fusses, we either move her into an upright position to produce a burp (she really is that easy to burp!), hold her or pat her for a moment, say "shhh" or feed her... and back out she goes. I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more of her eyes someday but I am also not going to complain about this behavior right now.
Well, we did see a lot of her eyes last night between 11 and 2. Since we were home, and it was night, it was time to be awake! We had good intentions of having her sleep in her pack in play from night one, since we did send her to the nursery except for feeds at the hospital. We thought we could just continue that trend, of her sleeping on her own in a contained space. But she just couldn't maintain a continuous sleep in there last night and by 2, she was in bed with us, where she proceeded to sack out for 3 solid hours and sleep through her next "scheduled" feeding... Guess we are co-sleeping again, for now. She is a really nice thing to snuggle up with, so it's not all bad...
She is breastfeeding like a champ. She has a very fierce latch which we'll have to work on once its not such a fight to wake her for feedings. My milk came in yesterday, 48 hours after birth! I was not prepared for that! wow. So I am a bit uncomfortable as Miss Teeny-tiny here can't quite keep up with what is being produced. But this too shall pass. It is so amazingly easy and relaxed, feeding this second child. I am sorry for Jack that he had to deal with such neurotic and nervous parents! We charted everything that poor child did! With Ivy I have a hard time keeping up a few check marks for her wet and poopy diapers. I am just not worried...! Weird. She only lost 5 ounces in the hospital so I think we are OK.

Ok, so here is the Birth Story. (careful, "too much information" alert)

At my appointment on Friday the 7th, we had decided to be induced on Sunday May 9th. I was so very uncomfortable because of the PUUPs rash, and it was our due date, and we could have Shellie deliver us again. It just seemed right so I was willing to forgo my goal of avoiding an induction, just to get this show on the road. We were hopeful things would go more smoothly this time as I was already 3cm and 50% effaced. We'd been to the zoo that morning and Friday night Ihad a bunch of contractions and I hoped things would be well along by Sunday.
Well, little Miss had plans of her own and my water broke at 2am on Saturday May 8th. (We had, interestingly, had quite a thunder-and-hail storm Friday evening and we were later told by a few nurses at Labor and Delivery that they always see a spike in babies born around the time of big storms...) I had a strange sense of deja vu as this was, to the hour, when my water had broken with Jack. While of course I had a surge of excitement -- this is it! here we go!-- I was also disappointed. We had made some lovely plans for a sushi lunch and desert at Presti's and a family dinner on Saturday. AND, I really wanted Shellie to deliver this baby! AND with my water breaking first, again, and no sign of contractions at that time, I just knew we would have to have pitocin again and I could feel my hopes of having a natural delivery evaporating. I didn't wake Nat right away, but rather got a few last minute chores and tidying done around the house, then called the midwives to check that it would be OK for us to wait to come in at a more reasonable hour, as we needed to arrange care for Jack. Then I dressed myself with a towel in my pants :), updated Nat, and we tried to get a few hours of sleep.
We called my mom at around 5:30 to come over and stay with Jack, and decided we would try to leave before he woke up, to keep our exit simpler. By 6:30 we were en route to the hospital. Checking in was delightfully easy and we were taken directly to our Birthing Suite-- no triage room this time! We met our nurse, Linda, who would be with us all day (we were to be her only patients, it turned out!!). She was fabulous, a big woman with 18 years of experience and a wonderful, no nonsense attitude. There had been a bit of a miscommunication with midwives because we happened to check in right at shift change ( I think that happened with Jack too!) so we ended up with a few rather boring hours of not having contractions, nothing happening, just waiting. At least we actually had windows in our room this time so we listened to music, read, enjoyed the view.. Cindy came in around 10 and we talked about options with her. We decided to try doing some walking around the wing to see if we could get contractions going (yep, you got it, just what we tried with Jack) before just getting going on the Pitocin (sigh) so we could get this show on the road. I really didn't want to be down to the wire with our 24 hour time clock again. We had a lovely hour hoofing it around a loop through the maternity floor, peeking in the nursery (TONS of babies-- 17 had been born here on Friday!). But alas, no regular contractions, no change in the cervix since the day before. So at 11:00 the Pitocin started. CIndy did give us some hope, saying often, especially with second births, your body would take over and we might be able to turn the Pitocin off at a certain point. We went into it with that hope. For the next few hours, it was almost boring in the room. My contractions increased but were very manageable; I was even able to doze off in between contractions for a while. Outside, the weather was changeable. We watched the wind in the trees, some sun, some rain. I got my second dose of antibiotics started, the goal with being GBS positive, and we joked that the baby could come any time now! By 2:00 the contractions were getting more intense to the point that I really had to focus and control my breathing to stay on top of each one. I asked to be checked to see what kind of progress we might be making. Turns out-- not much. Over the first 3 hours on Pitocin I progressed from a 3 to a 4, and 50%-80% effaced. Cindy and Linda seemed to think this was just fine but I have to tell you I was in tears at this point, thinking that this was VERY slow process and that I wouldn't be up for another 12 hours of labor. It was too similar to what happened with Jack, where it WAS a very slow process and my progress slowed and that was when I caved and got the epidural..
It was at this time that Shellie stopped by-- she was at the hospital for something else and heard we were there and came by to check on us. She was encouraging and told me not to give up, that often the body would just kick in and progress could speed up a lot. Another encouraging thing at this time was that Linda brought in the delivery cart and set up all the "tools". As though she expected something to be going on by the end of her shift at 7:00... So on we went.
Between 2 and 4 they upped the pitocin a few times and the contractions were getting very intense. We used the birthing ball with a lot of success; it helped to move my hips around with contractions. Nat was fabulous at reminding me to focus, to not fight the pain, to breathe. At 4:00 we asked to be checked again; we were at a 6, and 100% effaced. I knew rationally that this was good progress but I also couldn't imagine going through another 4 cm worth of progress with the sort of pain I was in at that point. The contractions were increasingly close and I was shaking and having a hard time relaxing in between each one. In retrospect I am pretty sure I was heading right into transition at that point. But at the moment I was in tears again and pretty sure I was going to have to ask for an epidural soon. Then, Cindy suggested we stop the Pitocin, she had been watching my contractions increase when they hadn't been increasing the Pitocin, and she thought my body was taking over on its own. Thank goodness for that! They unhooked me from the IV and the monitors and we took off for the shower. I labored in the shower for 45 minutes, under very, very hot water. It worked well to hold the handicap bars in the shower stall to brace and move in any way that worked to get through each contraction. There was the most unbeleivable pressure in my bottom during each contraction. I found that making more noise with my breathing helped get through them. A profound, delicious sense of relief came after each contraction, which though it didn't last long, was what got me through, I think. After 45 minutes I was really warm (go figure) and my legs were tired and we decided to come out of the shower. We tried all - fours on the bed which was an OK position but the contractions were sooo much more intense out of the shower and I was starting to feel the urge to push. Cindy checked me and we were at a 9!!! A 9!!! I was laughing with relief which was really hard to do during a contraction! I had progressed 3 cm in 45 minutes and the end was in sight! In fact, they said no more shower for me as things might go very quickly and they wanted me near the bed...

Well things did progress quickly! As we struggled to find some position that worked to get through the contractions, Cindy checked me again pronounced me a 10 and asked me to think about what position I wanted to deliver in. I wanted to help pull the baby out so we decided on the traditional in-the-bed, legs up pose and before long they were asking me to push. Nat said it was something out of those childbirth videos, the screaming before each push. I couldn't help it-- it just came out. Pushing was both a relief and incredibly intense and painful. It was unbelievable how much I really could feel the progress of the baby down the birth canal. Everyone in the room was yelling and yelling for me to hold my breath and push, and again. Tremendous excitement and I knew we were really doing it, even as a part of me didn't think I could do it. It hurt so much! I pushed through 3 contractions, then Cindy told me to listen very carefully to her as the baby crowned, and she would tell me when to push and when to wait. Then there was an intense burning pain and she asked me to pant through it and not push, then then give a little push-- and then everything changed and I knew her head was out. They told me to push again and to reach down and grab my baby and I helped to pull her up onto my belly and her shoulders came out and suddenly everything felt better. I pushed for only 8 minutes before Ivy came into the world at 5:42pm!
Things got a little scary at this point because she wasn't crying yet, and she was rather a dark color and I started to freak out. Cindy told me, oh so calmly, that the cord had been wrapped around her neck and this was why she wasn't crying yet, but not to worry. They took her to the warmer and suctioned her and in a few seconds she did start crying, a little mewing cry. It seemed like forever until they brought her back to me.. but she was pink and wiggling and perfect. She scored a 9 and 9 on her APGAR even with the cord issue! She was wonderfully alert and when we breastfed she latched on perfectly, like she'd been practicing. It was amazing.
The unexpected drawback to natural childbirth was not how much it hurt during delivery-- I expected that!-- but how much it hurt after. Horrible cramping, getting a number of stitches (I had a 2nd degree tear because the pushing stage was so short)--ugh. It really interfered with just enjoying those first moments with my baby. They did give me some Tylenol3 and Motrin so I was feeling a bit better--if a bit loopy-- by the time our family came in to visit at 7:30. All in all it was a really wonderful birth experience and I am so glad I was able to acheive my goal of a natural birth in spite of being on pitocin!