18 months ago today...

Milestone day, today. I realize that I have wandered away from the original mission of this blog-- namely, to chronicle my impressions of motherhood--towards more of a "public record" of the daily happenings in the life of Jack. This is noble mission in and of itself, to be sure, and one that is certainly much appreciated by Jack's far-afield admirers. Nonetheless, I feel some musings about motherhood are in order on this occasion...

18 months ago today I was holding a very pink and sleepy newborn-squishy baby in my arms, wondering if I was up to the task.
18 months ago today I was more tired than I'd ever been before-- but not as tired as I would become a few weeks later!
18 months ago today I looked at the scowly little face of my new son and I didn't know where to begin. I didn't know how to breastfeed, how to dress him, how to help him sleep. I only knew I loved him.
18 months ago today I thought that I understood how life-changing parenting could be.
Turns out, I am learning more about that every day.

Today Jack is a year and a half old and I truly don't know what has happened to this time. I can see evidence of its passage, in the form of this little boy who lives in our house now, this little boy who walks and runs, sings and dances, talks and tantrums, snuggles and struggles for his independence. He is so astoundingly different than the little squishy newborn, the soft-round 6 month old, the speed-crawling one year old... I can look back at 10,000 or so pictures of his first year and see how the months have passed. And yet I look back and it seems like just a moment has passed since we brought him home, wide eyed and wondrous that we would be allowed to take care of him, all on our own...

18 months later, I finally feel that I am hitting my stride as a mother. I think that this feeling may be partially attributable to the fact that Jack sleeps in consistent, long stretches. As followers of this blog will surely note, a well-rested Amanda=a more confident and contented mother-of-Jack. But I do also think a part of it must be that I actually AM more confident and contented. Nat and I both are able to handle the basics-- diapers, feeding, bathing, dressing, heading out into the world with a toddler in tow-- with such ease as to hardly think of it. 18 months ago today, I am not sure I could have imagined a day would come when those basics would not be all-consuming, mountainous ordeals.

While we have much to learn about parenting a toddler (I am terrified of potty training. Terrified.) it does seem that Jack is turning out to be a well-mannered and happy boy, moving forward with his milestones in an appropriate way and charming everyone in his path. Watching him play peek-a-boo with the clerks at the Library Book Sale today, I couldn't help but feel that we must be doing something right. Yes, he has his moments of whining, or struggling against us as he tries to figure out his world. He is very much an 18 month old in every tempestuous, distractible, and motor-driven sense of the word. But he is also turning into this amazing little person who I am proud to call my son. I love being able to understand his words and his signs, being the one who can tell other people what he wants, what he needs, what his favorite things are. I love when he comes looking for me, calling out "mama." in his matter-of-fact little voice. I love the way he is becoming creative, and the way he studies everything in his world, attentive to all the small details. I love the way he gives me hugs and giggles up at me when he is breastfeeding, the way he enjoys books and adores his dog, the way he snuggles into bed with his blanket at night. 18 months later, I still love the way his hair smells.

Some Recent Pictures

Jack and his dad went to the Botanical Gardens a few days ago and had fun with pictures. Here's the 18 month old looking cute in a few different spots..

Jack and daddy...


Here are a few from around the house....

Jack's new reading location. Yep, he's reading a copy of The Week.

Trying to fit into Daddy's shoes!




At his new craft table in the dining room. He loves it, and will sometimes
go over and spontaneously color there. Tonight we played playdough together there for about 15 minutes...

Bring it on, Spring!

High of 46 and sunshine today...thank goodness! Jack and I got out for a lovely walk-about this afternoon when I got home from work. Our grown-up little boy walked from home, around the corner to Somerton and about 3 houses down, toddling along on the sidewalk, stopping about every 4 inches to point out cars and trucks going by, the mud and wawawa (puddles) on the sidewalk, pine cones, piles of snow, sticks. He followed COrydon onto people's lawns but did listen well when I asked him to stay out of the street. I think he is definitely in his language explosion right now-- he said at least 3 words I hadn't heard him say before, while we walked: Street, dirt, and stick. Well, stick is not really new, per say, but this was the first time since he was about 11 months old. And now, he's much better with his blends, so it sounded a lot more like "stick" this time and a lot less like a rather inappropriate word for an 18 month old to say... :)
After I finally wrestled the little walker into his stroller, we made it to the Coventry playground, where he had a blast walking around, commenting on the wood chips, asking for help to get up and down stairs and ladders, going down slides, following some older kids around...He also discovered that it was great fun to try to walk up the slide, and then flop onto his belly (shouting "dowwwwn!") and slide back down about a foot. Perhaps the cutest part of the trip to the park was when he decided that he was ready to go home. He started walking somewhat aimlessly, so I asked him if he was ready to leave. He said "uh huh!" and grabbed my hand and started right off onto the sidewalk towards his stroller. I am utterly amazed at how grown up he is getting...

Adorable

Ok, I know we spend a lot of time talking about Jack being cute about this, sweet about that, etc etc etc. But, really, we're not making this up. I just don't think I can fully express how adorable he's been this weekend. For starters, he's had a couple of pretty good night's sleep. Friday he slept from 8:30 pm to 8:15 am, only waking once to eat at 6am. I could really get used to that.
Friday night we had a great time at a first birthday party for Jack's friend-from-the-parent-center Dean. Several of the other "regulars" from the parent center were there and the babies were so cute playing together. Lottie, Dean's mom, has two older boys and runs a very laid back, comfy household. Lots of noise and busyness and time to chat with the other grown ups while the kiddos entertained one another. Nice.
Saturday Jack and I took a road trip down to Hiram so I could meet with my reunion planning committee. He was (as he has been every time we've been back to Hiram) an absolute superstar, sitting on my lap for a lot of the time while we planned, flirting like mad with Lisa and Nadia, playing peek around the clock tower mechanism.
We also took a side trip to visit Hattie's. I can't beleive I hadn't visited there since before I was pregnant. I hardly recognized the place, there have been so many renovations. Some nice things, but overall the place is more "sterile" now, I think. :( It was also sad to learn that many of the kiddos that I had known have passed away over the past two years. But-- many of my kiddos were still there and some even seemed to remember me and be happy to see me. That was nice. Jack was polite and quiet and very interested in the wheelchairs. Anything with wheels...
Today we had a very relaxed day around the house, mostly following Jack around and exclaiming about how cute he was. Now that I am writing this, I can't seem to recall exactly what made him so very cute. It was a combination of his very sweet, smiley mood, his enthusiasm for running around the house and being a big boy (drinking milk from non-sippy cups, holding our hand to walk out , and not be carried, to the car) and the way he asks for and interacts with things in his environment now. His communication is so very earnest-- he looks you in the eye and states his word-approximation and waits for your response...
Here are some things he's saying now:
Wadad-- translation: what's that. Said with a little hint of a question
Cheese-- said while signing "please" to mean "please". He always smiles when he says it. We are encouraging him to pair it with his requests for "down" "up" "out" and "coo" (cookie) and he's beginning to comply.
Doos doos-- translation: Blue's clues. He's becoming a TV kid... he can ask for he show he wants by saying "Tee... doos doos/ choo choo" It helps that we really only have two options for him to watch (blue's clues and Thomas the Tank Engine) and therefore ask for...He also says "dee" for DVD.
Hi-- yes, he's said this for a while, but the way he says it now is so sweet. Lots of "H" at the front, lots of expression, lots of affection... "Hiyeeee" like he is just SO happy to see you.
"UH huh"-- his way of saying yes, pairing this with an emphatic nod.
Today he also said "stars" very clearly when he saw the paramount symbol (replete with stars) at the beginning of his DVD.
Of course, the words we hear the most overall continue to be Gruck (truck), Juss (bus), and Ga (car).

poor sick baby..

Poor baby Jack just can't seem to stay well this winter... Last month there was the stomach bug, then a week of health and then he came down with a very snotty cold...and now, less than a week after that, he has some strange fever-inducing virus. The child has been to the doctor 2 Mondays in a row, and has been pronounced "sick but fine" both times. This makes us "those" parents, the ones that rush their child off to the doctor at the least provocation. How embarassing...

Despite being sick yesterdayy, Jack and I had a nice day out... we headed off to Lake Erie College to visit with Becca, who was there for Scholar's Day. I am completely in shock that my baby sister is really going to be starting college in the fall. It's wild that I am planning my 10 year college reunion (ack!) and the kiddo is heading off to start all that excitement. It's also fun to live vicariously through her as she heads toward her future! :)

Jack had a lot of fun walking around on a college campus. His new obsession (though of course it is a distant second to trucks) is snow. He learned how to say the word and now likes to locate, point at, and then step on any snow he sees. This can be observed in the following video:



and this series of pictures from the little woods outside of Garfield Hall, where we wandered while Becca had her interview.

Club kid...

Jack is officially a party animal. Here you see evidence of his first time partying at a nightclub.

Auntie Bec had her 18th birthday party at The View, a nice little club downtown. After a bit of trepidation, he decided that the flashing lights and music were perhaps the best thing in the universe, and proceeded to become the life of the party. HE ran around the dance floor, got jiggy with his own distinctive style of dance, (consisting mainly of moving his arms up and down in a robotic fashion), chased the lights, and even rolled around a bit. He ate pizza and cake and had an overall wonderful time!

Words and Pictures

Here are a few old ones, from Christmas time in Aurora... The lighting on the lake was so amazing that morning. Here is our pensive little man taking in the fresh winter air on Cayuga.

The following series are more recent, from the past week. Enjoying the great INdoors as our sidewalks in Cleveland are still impassable. One of these years we'll be able to get out for walks again... but for now, lots of moving from room to room to keep things interesting for our very busy, increasingly opinionated and ever more verbal young man....


Cobes scowl!!
Boning up on his Critical Theory and Philosophy in Daddy's office...

While he's not yet reading Sartre (at least not out loud to us!), his vocabulary is increasing every day. In the past few days, he has added the words: bus (jussss), car, dumptruck (tugruck), cookie (dooo), Tv (TEE), and DVD/CD (du-dee). Looking at that list I realize just how far we have wandered from our very principled, pre-parenting ideas of parenting.
I was going to raise my boy in a decidedly gender neutral environment. Now, he's obsessed with trucks. We just checked 7 truck and bus themed books out of the library tonight. Sigh.
We were going to give him only simple, active-learning, not technology based toys. Now, he can often be found wandering our home with a cell phone to his ears.
We were going to give him only whole, organic foods. Now, he gets to snack on cookies. They make him so happy, though! HIs favorites are Trader Joes Cat's cookies, the ginger variety. He asks for "dooo" and then says "mew!" when we hand him a little cat...
We were going to limit the TV he watched, and not let him watch any for his first year. Now, at 17 months, he knows how to turn the TV on and is working on the VCR...
Ah well...

More yogurt! Have we mentioned that this boy is crazy 'bout yogurt?? Here, for your viewing pleasure, are a couple of videos of Jack, enjoying yogurt. Warning: Neither video is particularly exciting, and the longer video is probably best viewed only by people who are exceedingly interested in Jack, and who might be interested in watching him reach for the camera for about 3 minutes. I know there are some of you out there who fit that description. This is why I am posting both videos!




In other news, its about 40 degrees and sunny out today-- a veritable heat wave! We went out and trudged through the melting snow this morning, and also shopped at Trader Joe's. Exciting times around here...