Mommy's Blog: May 2020

So I've not written in quite a while, eh? Because things have legit been *busy* recently. Which is normal, and so not normal, all at the same time.

In a world where time no longer has (much) meaning, we have made it to the milestone of Memorial Day weekend and the en dof the school year.

In a normal year we would have been counting down the Mondays of an interminable 4th quarter, waiting for this one off, for a glorious three day weekend of sleeping in and possibly camping or grilling or gathering with friends, celebrating the nearness of summer and its promise of a different way of living.

In our not-normal we've been sleeping in for 11 weeks and we've had just about enough of the different way of living and summer has seemed to promise little change so I thought this three day weekend wouldn't mean much.

But along came late May in all its glory, hot sun and flowers blooming and the scent of clover in the air and everything seems possible.

Like having people over to our yard 4 days in a row! We are wild and crazy. And it felt both deliciously normal and shockingly tiring, all that socializing-at-a-distance. The constant worry that we're not doing it right. The way standing and talking with our neighbors on our pergola feels terribly risky and unfamiliar. We aren't quite sure how to do this anymore, but we laugh from behind our masks and talk about chickens anyway.

We celebrated Memorial Day with an actual family cookout (maxing our gathering out at the top limit of , and sat in the yard with cousins playing for a good 5 hours. We hosted neighbors for smores. We had Gram over for dinner. We went to Stan Hywet with Melinda and Will and then enjoyed their yard for a while. And we had other nieghbors over to watch the Boulevard farewell parade and check out the baby chicks. We were generally sweaty the whole time because Memorial Day weekend, true to form, was brutally hot. But I refused to complain because I was enjoying the heck out of our busy, suddenly-outdoor-social lives.

Jack"too-tall"Morehouse and his dad...

A sunset visit to Euclid Beach to cap off our Sunday...

Social-distance beaching in effect. We aren't the only

Memorial Day Sky.

Kittens and the new swing bed were a hit at our family gathering. We also had a veritable feast of grilled chicken, burgers and veggie patties, cole slaw, corn on the cob, baked beans, homemade hummus, and all the chips. We struggled for a while with how to safely serve and landed on disposable plates and cups, and all food placed on a serving table that was then only used by myself and Eileen to serve everyone. Who knows if that was the right decision?? We don't know anything!! But we are trying.... Hand sanitizer and wipes in the bathroom and on the porch, too.

Sprinkler fun to cool off because did I mention it was HOT?

Continued idyllic weather through the week allowed for some more outings....

Patio drinks at Voinovish park. I was relatively anxious about the proximity of all. those. random. people. Even 6 feet apart! How did we manage crowded festivals and parades and bars in our old lives? Can you imagine? Shoulder to shoulder with strangers? All of them talking and laughing and LOUD. I guess I have acclimated to being apart from people. Luckly a couple margaritas eased my nerves and let me enjoy the perfect summer weather...

We celebrated the end of Donna's birthday month at Rocky River beach, where we had to hike down the rocks to find a socially distant spot to gather at the very crowded park (and the water level is so high there was literally no beach!)

Ran into some friends there and it felt like a party.

It's been madness, all this socializing and getting out. And wonderful. And terrifying. And normal, and not-normal.

With all the glory there have been plenty of moments of frustration, as we push our kiddos to finish their school year and continue living their not-normal lives. Jack has had some forays into lying about what he's been up to online, so that's been fun. Consequently he's spent less time online... Ivy has continued to fly into angry moods and fill our home with glaring and yelling, so that's been fun... Consequently she's been spending a lot of time in her room...Parenting is hard sometimes. Having these kids see some of their friends in real life helps. Being able to send them .... well, anywhere at all really, just for a little while...that would help too. Family together time is important, I know. But Whew! We're kind of togethered out and the summer togethering has yet to begin.

Granted, we always struggle a bit with early summer, with the downshifting and learning how to be on vacation. That's normal. But this year we will have to do it without a pool or travel or any reserves of desire to spend more time together....

And there have been some moments of deep melancholy. This week has driven the not-normal home in a couple of strking ways. I've been in to the school a couple of days to clean up and it really got me. The calendar still on March. Choice books with bookmarks halfway through. Our February Black History Month project up on the bulletin board still The unfinished-ness of this year was brutal. But what really hit me, maybe even more, was packing up and prepping for next year. I've been doing this teaching thing for a while now, and I kind of have a system for organizing what I pack up with an eye to starting the year. This year, over and over, I started to pack things up and realized we won't be using those things next year. Out went my sensory bins, fidget toys, shared craft/ art and school supply areas, soft seating, rugs... I stashed my games and puzzles and pulled the curtain across the cabinet not knowing if I will use them at all next year. Same with my class library and my prize store. My big tables will have to go because small group face-to-face instruction (you know, pretty much the ENTIRE way I teach my students) can't happen, and I have to make room to spread desks 6 feet apart with individual bins of supplies for each student.... I can't wrap my mind around it and I am so sad and scared and overwhelmed about how we will make this work next year.

(Side note: I also don't know how I will go back to a life that includes getting up at 6:30am and being busy ALL day. Who thought that was a good idea??)

Then I got home and cleaned out the trunk of my car (because the BEST thing to do in a pandemic is get a new car, right?? We are switching my lease to a CRV to give our family more space for travel and a wet sandy dog since our van is on it's last leg...). And boom, another hit. There underneath some random detritis from the past 3 months, stashed in 4 tote bags, was my old life. My West Shore Chorale music, my Hope Choir music, my church choir music, my gym bag... buried under a layer of (now defunct) reusable shopping bags and several ice scrapers. I carted it all inside and unpacked the bags and cleaned them out and stored everything away because the only thing I'm going to need in the next calendar year is those ice scrapers. And it happened so fast! One weekend I wang in two concerts and resting up from a week of 12 hour workdays and evenings that were triple booked... and the next weeked schools had been closed and we were squeezing in one last visit with our friends because we knew the shutdown was coming. So fast. Who knew a whole way of living could end so fast? I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Just left it all in my trunk.

Didn't take a picture of the sadness. Had to focus on getting through the sorting and storage... So- picture of new toy instead!

So I guess my new (pretty, shiny, fancy!) car is really a fresh start. Nothing in the trunk at all. Just space to fit in our new normal while we find our way through.

Anyways. Here are some pictures of kittens.