It's kind of unbelievable that we've been at this whole parent thing for 5 months already. And it's shocking how true the saying is, that the nights are long but the months are short. The years too, I imagine.
So here we have this big, grown up, fully formed 5 month old baby. He's all chubby and round and solid and full of smiles. The perfect image of baby-ness, in fact. Here are some things our 5 month old can do:
*he can sit up by himself, for at least 5 minutes
*he can scootch his bum across the floor while he is sitting (he does this little "wiggle and sit up at the same time" thing. It's adorable.
*these days when he nurses, he reaches up and plays with my mouth and grabs my glasses. Cute, for now.
*he is VERY into grabbing my hair. Again, cute, for now...
*when I am cooking and have my back turned, he'll yell loudly to get me to turn around, then flash this whole-face, scrinchy smile at me
*he's just started passing things from one hand to the other. Today, he enjoyed playing with a piece of used packing tape this way.
*I dare say he almost LIKES tummy time.
*he is very content to sit and watch us, play with his hands, or chew on something for long periods of time. Really, a pretty happy and contented baby, unless he's tired. When he's tired he gets a bit whiny, and rubs his nose and eyes.
*he's certainly not back onto any sort of good night time schedule, but he is a real champ at going to bed. His nighttime routine right now is: a story or 2 in the rocker, then nurse, then change into PJ's with a lotion massage, then snuggle and dance back and forth for a bit (I really like that part; he rests his little cheek against mine... so sweet) then swaddle him up in his crib, say "goodnight baby" and leave. And off he goes to sleep!
*he loves his dog!
*he also loves "If you're happy and you know it" and hearing us say "peek" in a really high voice.
He's pretty cute these days...
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Memories...
As we were driving over to Melinda and Will's tonight, a complacent young man getting ready for a nap in the backseat, Nat and I suddenly remembered the way we had to drive back in September. One-month-old Jack, who hated his car seat, and somehow knew when we were approaching a stop light even before we started to slow down...we became very innovative in our attempts to avoid his screaming. We learned to swerve madly during lane changes, accelerate very quickly at green lights, slow very gradually at red lights so we were never fully stopped. He screamed loudest when we stopped. The trip from home to the highway was a nerve wracking 20 minutes of praying for green lights and enduring the crying until we got on the highway and he went to sleep. We mastered the art of bouncing Jack's carseat, of reaching over and getting the pacifier into his mouth with one arm while driving. You know, we never thought to write down how it felt to drive back then, because I think we honestly believed that was the way we'd drive from then on...It's amazing how much he's changed. Thank god!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Archival Posts
Here are the musings from Jack's first 5 months-- images from this period can be seen at http://jack.morehouse.googlepages.com/maternalcomentary
...January 26th, 2008
A busy week has flown past.... Jack is 21 weeks old and it kind of boggles my mind that we are nearly halfway through our "Your Baby Week by Week" book. Those 52 weeks that seemed impossibly long, this midway point that seemed impossibly far away... suddenly we are here.
And, suddenly, Jack knows how to sit up on his own. Last week he seemed to be making incremental progress, day by day, sitting unassisted for a few seconds here and there, balancing on his arms when you helped him out a bit (the famous "tripod" position...) Then, this morning I plopped him on the blanket to show off his emerging skills to his grandma, and lo and behold! He sat up on his own for a good 5 minutes! He even danced himself around, wiggling and bopping, and kept his balance the whole time. It was pretty damn impressive. Not to say that he doesn't still have plenty of bobbles, and due to the fact that our floors are decidedly un-padded I like to make sure I have a hand by him at all times... but wow! This feels like a major step. Can't beleive this is the same baby as that squishy, floppy little thing we brought home.
Jack really seems to like sitting up. He reaches for toys, plays with his hands, and is generally quite excited. He also sticks out his tongue. This is his other new trick: He is practicing to be the next Gene Simmons, apparently, sticking his tongue out as far as it will go, straight out the front, then the side. He is able to "talk" and to laugh with his tongue like this, which makes it even funnier. It's pretty hard to take the little guy seriously when he gets that big goofy grin WITH his tongue poking out too. Silly baby!
We've decided over the past week that if Jack were a breed of dog, he'd be a Newfoundland. He has developed a rather complacent and content personality (again, is this really the same baby we brought home?????) He recently met an age-mate at one of his playgroups who, Nat reports, was rolling all over the place. Jack, by contrast, tends to stay on his back when we put him there, content to look around and watch the world go by. Roll, scootch, or even stretch to get that toy over there? No thanks, I've got my hand right here. Oooooh, hand....I could put this in my mouth.... That's our boy. A bit of a stoner already.
The upside of having a lazy baby is that his lazy parents can continue to be a bit lazy about babyproofing the house. W'eve been too busy playing around with new paint colors to really start to think about cupboard locks and gates... I imagine one of these days he's going to find some internal motivation and try to move about, but really, are we in any hurry for that?
January 19th, 2008
Jack and Corydon and I had a nearly perfect Saturday morning: we spent the hours of 7-10:30am in bed! Aah, sweet sleep! Jack woke up at 6am, all stuffy. I was dismayed, as this was my day to sleep in. I got up with him for an hour, steamed him by showering with him in the bathroom with me.. then when he got hungry I decided to lay down to feed him, on the off chance that he was ready for a nap-- turns out he was! We luxuriated in bed, all three of us, Jack snuggled up next to me, Corydon next to him, as the winter sun came up and filtered into the room. Jack slept with wonderful, deep abandon, arms flung above his head, cheeks rosy from the warmth of a down comforter and mommy's boobs. Sometimes I really like this kid.
January 17th, 2008
A few more firsts:
On Tuesday Jack rolled from his back to his tummy. I was at work and did not get to see it... but Nat reports that little man was not all that pleased to find himself on his belly.
As of Monday he is very sucessfully and purposefully sucking his thumb. Really cute. Probably won't be quite so cute when he's four, but...
Last night we resorted to drugging our child to try to get him to sleep. We really aren't sure what is causing his spree of night waking, and we certainly have no good ideas on how to helop him stop. We are trying this "dream feeding" thing where Nat sneaks in and gives him a bottle arudn 10:30 without waking him up, to circumvent his 11:30 waking, in case he is waking then from hunger. I suppose in that sense it is technically working, but it is certainly not giving us the long stretch of sleep that we are looking for-- he is making it to all of 12:30 now. Last night he was up 3 times between 12 and 3, when I finally just brought him into bed with us, where he nursed 3 more times before 6am. What was that about still functioning??? I am really hating my alarm these days.
Anyways, we are wondering if maybe he's teething, since we can't think of any other excuse for him right now, so at his 1:30 waking last night he got tylenol. I think he may be a junkie. He slurped it down and laid there blinking contentedly as soon as he finished. From a frantic scream to a pleased gaze in seconds. I doubt the drug worked that fast! I think he just likes strawberry flavoring (like mother, like son). But, like dreamfeeding, that had limited success anyway, considering he was up again an hour and fifteen minutes later.
I am really wondering how we are supposed to be "enjoying every minute of our time with our baby" when we are so stinking tired and frustrated with him. I'll reiterate that it is a good thing he has a cute smile.
January 15th, 2008
20 weeks! That means 140 days. And, of course, 140 sleepless nights. When I think about it that way I am frankly amazed that I am functioning at all at this poin....
January 12th, 2008
A few "firsts" today:
* At lunch today little man was being handed over to me. He actively turned his body toward me and reached both arms in my direction!
* He also reached his arms up before I picked him up when he was laying on the bed.
* Tonight on his changing table of happiness, he was squirming about and putting his feet straight up in the air and grabbing his toes (this is his new changing table behavior for the past 3-4 days) and then-- he got his left foot into his mouth! I have no idea why I find that so cute and so exciting, but I do. It was really frigging adorable.
In fact, it was so cute that I scooped up little nearly-naked Jack and ran for the camera, hoping I could catch him doing it again (I didn't). As I carried him I was struck by how incredibly, perfectly silky-soft his skin is, how he is exactly the right amount of soft and squishy and warm to touch. It is almost unreal how delightful all that brand new baby skin can be. A sad thing about winter: he is almost always covered up in clothes, and we so rarely get to experience the squeezable babyness of him...
On an entirely different note, today we went out to lunch with Grandma at It's It Deli. As we were eating a woman who'd been seated near us came over. First she complimented my coat (the leopard skin one, on which I invariably get at least one compliment EVERY time I wear it) then she went on to say that we had made her day, because we were such a beautiful, loving family with such a perfect baby. I was touched. It is lovely to recieve unsolicited praise. I need to remember to return the favor, more often.
Jack has been a bit of a superstar today, impressing strangers everywhere we go. The woman seated next to us at Pacific East tonight just couldn't get enough of him. She made sure to tell us several times that the secret to raising a baby is to take him everywhere with you (I agree!) and just gushed over how well-behaved, alert, and pretty Jack is. We said "thank you" a lot and also noted that she ought to see him at 2am before making too much of a judgement! (yes, that's code for the fact that our boy, star that he is, still has not mastered the night time sleep. I keep thinking that one of these days its just going to happen, he'll figure it out and sleep 10 continuous hours-- can you imagine! That has not happened. Sigh. The crazy thing is he goes to bed (in his crib, swaddled) like a dream. He seems to be doing so well at this time of night, all peaceful, sleeping soundly. You'd think he's a great sleeper and wouldn't expect the every-two-hours-all-night waking that we got from him last night. )
I do wish sleep was not so frustrating. I really do enjoy 4-month-old Jack. The lack of sleep issue ends up detracting from my full, unadulterated enjoyment, though. I am tempted to start wishing for him to grow up faster, so he could get to the point where he'll learn to sleep. But I don't really want that. Because I don't want to miss out on any of the squirmy, squishy baby moments, the chewing of feet on the changing table, the scrunch nosed smiles and giggles and drooly mouthed "ahh's," the little hands that enthusiastically grab everything, especially my hair, the nuzzling little head, covered with the softest hair in the world, the snuggly way he curls into me to eat, and the abandon of his sleep when he is full, his eyelashes and his blinking, wide eyed wonder at the world....
January 10th, 2008
You'd never know I was on break for 2 weeks, by how little I've written on this site! The New Year has come and with it comes a new color for our living room and dining room walls, continued sleepless nights for mom and dad, and the rest of the school year. We rang in the new Year at Melinda and Will's, and Jack came along to the party. Wowed us by falling asleep in their Pack and Play as though he did it every day, and sleeping there from 9 til 1am. Then he came down and got some partying in himself.
(picture to follow-- check back!)
I started back to work on Monday and it feels like my first week back after leave, all over again. Six am is so very cold and dark, not at all a time when anyone should have to get up. Really. Least of all a very tired mom who has been up3-5 times with her non-sleeping baby over the course of the night....
Poor non-sleeping boy has been fighting his first cold for about 12 days now. Not a very severe one, thank goodness, but enough of a sneezy, then runny, then stuffy nose to make him just a little droopy and a little less likely to sleep well...
What is really unbelieveable is that my tiny little baby is 4 and a half months old. At his 4 month visit he tipped the scales at 17 pounds 2 ounces and was 26.5 inches long (that's 90th percentile in both for those of you who think in terms of statistics!) His head is catching up a bit, in the 75th percentile now. No more little pin head! :) He was pronounced in good health and on track.
Here are some neat things my 19 week old baby is doing:
*He finally rolled over again the other day! first time since he was 3 months..
* He is getting very proficient with his hands. He looks at a toy with the utmost concentration and then carefully reaches out for it, and gets a good grip about 90% of the time. He'll bring ANYTHING to his mouth!
*He is so sweet when he nurses, he reaches up and holds onto my shirt, or bra strap, and looks up at me. What is NOT so cute is when he gets distracted by something (which happens ALL the time) and whips his head around to look at it, WITHOUT opening his mouth... ouch! At least there are no teeth yet!
*He has the sweetest "hello mom" smile when he wakes in the morning and whenever I come into the room.
*He will "razz" back and forth with a person. In particular, with Melinda. He loves her!
*His conversation skills include lots of "mmm's" and "ahh's" with a few squeals and "bleeurs" mixed in. When he is upset he will string together quite an assortment of consanants...
*His favorite toys are chains of linking rings, his peacock, and anything that is super soft-- blankets, Peanut the doll, Corydon's ears.
*He likes to snuggle into blankets to fall asleep.
*He has two laughs-- a belly chuckle and a high-pitched giggle. He laughs most at Corydon, and at silly sounds like "blah blah" or "Turkey pot pie"
*He is starting to really enjoy "children's songs"-- he loves One,two, buckle my shoe and If you're happy and you know it.
December 25th, 2007
Merry Christmas, Jack! It was a splendid, opulent Christmas morning, thanks in no small part to young master Jack and the ridiculous amounts of presents we all felt compelled to give him... that, and the masterful use of ribbon on this year's packages. If I do say so myself.
Jack was a wonderful Christmas baby, happy and easy going for the duration. Highlights of the day: We opened stocking presents "just the 4 of us." Jack's favorite present was actually out of daddy's stocking-- a black plastic serving spoon.
He happily held and licked this spoon for about 5 minutes before Nat and I had the bright idea to go wash the dollar store grime off of it. Parents of the year, that's us... Jack actually protested having the spoon taken away from him! First time he's done that.
When Grandma and Becca arrived, we distributed the massive pile of presents. Jack made it through opening 3 of his tree presents (he picked the one he wanted to open first, reaching out for it-- so cute!) before he needed some alone time and a nap. We finished our tree presents and brunch while he slept then it was the Jack show as he opened his remaining 7 presents with the 4 of us just watching him!
December 21st, 2007
Finally! Winter break starts tomorrow. It is Christmas crunch time now... it's quite amazing how much more time evertying takes with our little man around... and how little we have done for Christmas right now! 4 days! I know that Jack won't care a lick how the presents look. But I do! I have this incredible desire to have everything be perfect, because its his first Christmas, the one that will be immortalized in pictures. Oh, wait, everything that happens these days is immortalized in pictures. :)
We are going on 2 weeks of "crib transition". I should not let the fact that Jack is still waking up 5-6 times a night obscure the progress that has in fact been made. It is no small thing that he can now (drum roll) fall asleep on his own, in the crib, with no crying! Of course for the no-crying thing to happen, our timing has to be perfect, and we've gone back to swaddling him (bought a couple "baby straightjackets" for him!) because he would rub his eyes and get himself all agitated. But-- he just can't seem to manage to stay asleep for longer than 3 hours, despite his seemingly perfect send-off. Almost without fail he's waking at 11, needing 5-45 minutes of intermittent patting and shushing and paci-ing to get back to sleep. We are sticking to our guns, only getting him up to eat after a 6 hour stretch... but he has yet to make those 6 hours without waking! And, the past few nights, he is waking for a quick "soothe" every hour after 2am. This is getting a bit (pardon the pun) tiresome. I am trying to be patient-- he is, after all, just a baby-- but I am wondering what more we can do to break this habit. I feel like we are doing a lot of things right, according to the books...
To complicate matters further, today I did some reading online that indicated that 4 month olds often do need to nurse more frequently at night, because they are so distractible, and so busy with milestones, that they legitimately do not get enough calories during the day. So now I am wondering, should we be feeding him at 11? Am I starving him, or compromising my milk supply? I just wish he'd go back to that idyllic schedule of only waking at 2am and 6am, so we could relax and stop worrying about this...
In other news: two nights ago Jack entertained himself by holding and chewing on a rattle-book for about 5 minutes. Crazy that this is the same baby who could hardly track that same toy with his eyes 3 months ago. He is changing so fast! And yet at the same time his growth is imperceptible. I know he is huge, a big boy for 4 months and probably double his size at birth, but I still think of him as little. Especially when he snuggles his head into my chest. He is starting some very endearing habits recently, too, like holding onto my shirt while he nurses, or pulling off to look up, gaze at me all blue-eyed, and smile. I guess he has to make up for this whole sleep thing somehow.
December 10th, 2007
Welcome to the machine...
...or the crib, anyways. Little non-sleeper boy started his nights in the crib on Friday, with mixed results. Night one, was, as expected, a bit rough. It was amazing, though, how much more patience I had with him, knowing that we were the ones making him do something new. Or, as he would put it, torturing him. Putting him to bed has been a bit of an ordeal. His bedtime routine will go as usual, and he'll fall asleep nursing, so sweet. Then I lay him in the crib and twitch, twitch, squirm....SCREAM! We are being "tough" and not picking him up, so I'll stand there trying to get him to take a pacifier, patting his chest, rubbing his belly, while he screams up at me with this hurt look on his face.. "WHY am I in here??? Why won't you pick me UUUUPPPP????".. hitting me with his little besocked hands. I feel like a horrible person. But, in the end he HAS fallen asleep. Friday was not so great, up about 4 times and no sleep at all from 3-4am, but Saturday he slept for 7 hours straight! Last night he was up about every 2 hours, of course, knowing I had to get up to work... I am trying to be strong, because I do beleive we'll ALL sleep better once he can sleep comfortably in the crib. A big part of me wants to just bring him back in bed with us. I think to myself, he's better at sleeping soundly now (and he does seem to be, when I bring him in bed with us after his 4-6am feeding). But I know that we wake each other up all night, that he does more night waking to nurse, that I don't get real, restful sleep. And if Jack is a happier baby when he gets enough rest, that's nothing compared to how much happier MOMMY is when she gets enough rest. It'll be worth it. I hope.
On a more positive note, the little man has been really delightful during the day recently, and is really getting better about going places with us. We took him down to Hiram on Friday night for the Hiram USA dinner and reception and he was really a superstar, flirting with everyone who talked to him, sitting quietly in his carseat, being generally adorable. He repeated that performance on Sunday when I took him to book club. We can forgive a lot when he is capable of acting like this! I was quite proud of him.
Oh, and he laughed again last night, 3 little chuckles when I played "get your nose" with him.
December 7th, 2007
A Series of Discouraging Nights...
I think it may be obvious to readers of this page that Jack has not been an easy sleeper. Based on his history, we know better than to expect perfection, or 10-12 hour stretches of sleep, despite his substantial size and increasing age. BUT, we had kind of gotten used to the acceptable schedule of sleep he'd gotten himself on: a 6 hour stretch, eat, a 3 hour stretch, eat, a 2 hour stretch and up for the day. I could live with that and even have 1/3 or more of my brain functioning at work.
So, it came as a rude surprise when 2 nights ago he was up crying 5 times between 11pm and 6am, and last night, up 3 times between 12 and 6. I feel like I've gone back in time to his newborn days, and I feel almost that foggy at work. It is so frustrating! There's no reason that we can see for this sudden change of heart. I might think, growth spurt, except for the fact that last night, when he was up at 1, 3, and 5, he hardly ate anything. So he's not starving. And he's too young for teeth. And we DO have a space heater going in his room so its not the frigid temperature of our house... My personal opinion at the moment is that he is a vindictive little baby who does not want his mommy to sleep. This is based on the fact that after I got out of bed today at 6am, he proceeded to sleep well for 2 more hours-- better than he'd done since 1am... I imagine his train of thought like this: Finally! I got her out of bed for good! She's even dressed! Yes, NOW I can finally rest...
OK, so I know he's not a vindictive baby. But he's certainly not scoring any points here.
The only positive to this is that we're realizing we may as well start the dreaded "transition to the crib" now-- if we're already getting crappy sleep, why not give him a reason to have crappy sleep, and get it out of the way now?
What's sad about this is that I was finally feeling my attitude about the little guy improve a bit. He was being so cute, and nice, nigh charming... Nothing is charming about his screaming and carrying on at 3am. Sigh...
November 28th, 2007
Rock and Roll...
Jack is 3 months old today! In anticipation, he rolled over last night! Really rolled over, not flipping over in anger or anything.... We were at Grandma's house and I put him on his tummy to show off how well he's holding his head up these days. He was being adorable, propped up on his forearms, looking around with a nigh-beatific expression. Grandma went to get her camera, and had to change the batteries, and then, just as she went to get a picture of the perfect tummy-time babe, bloop! Over he went. He seemed a bit surprised to be on his back all of a sudden! We put him on his tummy again, and he rolled again about 2 minutes later, both times to his left. Pretty exciting. He got a bit grumpy when I put him on his tummy a 3rd time (poor guy) and this time, when I think he really WANTED to roll, he couldn't quite figure it out... so we're not perfect yet but it was still thrilling to reach this milestone. We've had a bit of a dry spell for big milestones, since smiling at week 6! He's just been slowly refining things mlike head control and cooing... and then in the past week we've had reaching/grabbing and rolling over. There'll be no stopping this kid soon. Which I am not sure we are ready for.... !
I am not sure I am ready for him to grow up so fast anymore, either! I was seeing no problem at all with that newborn phase hustling right along. But I think I rather like 3-month old Jack. He's pretty darn cute, all smiley and responsive and alert, curious about the world and active-- but still small (kind of!) and snuggly (sometimes) and very fun to dress in tiny clothes. He's great right now and I'd like to hold on to that for a while!
November 26th, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
We had a successful second trip to NY this past weekend-- we took Jack, and my mom and sister and Corydon too!-- to Claire's house for Thanksgiving. Jack played the part of delightful young man for the whole time. He was sweet and alert and even stayed on his nap schedule for the most part. I think we had Gunther along!
One exciting trend Jack decided to start was the "5am monster poop" -- three mornings in a row he woke up flailing and grunting at 5 am and then proceeded to poop through his pjs! We washed his swing cover three times in 3 days. Here's hoping for just another phase! (that waking up at 11:30pm thing? a 2 week long phase, that does, mercifully, seem to be ending).
Jack will be 13 weeks old tomorrow. It's crazy to think that the time is fast approaching when we won't refer to his age in weeks anymore. Not that long ago we talked about his age in days. Wow.
Here are some things he is doing now:
About 5 days ago he started really opening up his hands, feeling things, grabbing things. He loves the chime toy he borrowed from cousin Alex; he'll reach both hands for it and try to hold it. He likes holding and feeling his blankets, and holds my hand and my shirt when he is nursing (so sweet!)
He rolled over from his tummy to his back today! But we aren't sure its on purpose, yet. He really only does it when he's mad.
He is holding his head up so well when he's on his tummy. He is pushing his chest off the floor now too.
He still loves Mr. Red and the rest of the mobile guys, and loves to talk to them when he first gets up in the morning. He also likes to sit up in bed when he wakes up, and look out the bedroom window, or, if its still dark, at the digital clock on daddy's side of the bed.
He is starting to coo and gurgle to get our attention. And he gives these great smiles when he succeeds, smiles that seem to say, "YOU! You're the wonderful one! You're my whole world, in fact." He is adorable. Of course, it's hard to capture thes smiles on film as he is so interested in cameras now that he stops what he is doing to stare in rapt fascination...
November 20th, 2007
Jack has a new favorite song, one that epitomizes his personality, I think:
99 degrees in the water
99 degrees in the tub
He can swim, swim, swim all day long
if it's 99 degrees in the tub.
Our little man, who has to have everything "just so" , who can tell when the temperature of his bathwater is perfect-- and lets us know when its not!
Novemember 16th, 200
Today Jack and Corydon and I were hanging out on the bed, Jack snuggled up next to Cor who occasionally licked his head in a vaguely interested fashion. It was all very sweet. I was struck by just how big Jack has gotten, somehow without my really noticing. Yes, we've been chronicling his every move for over 11 weeks now, and I've been paying almost excruciatingly close attention to the little guy, 24-7 up til 2 weeks ago. yet somehow it truly feels like yesterday that Jack seemed impossibly small next to Corydon. That day we brought him home, we put him on the bed and he was this tiny, vulnerable little bundle of babyness and now, he is a little person. Wide eyes and crazy facial expressions, playing with sticking out his tongue and smiling up at me, grabbing Corydon's fur and looking around the room. So much more formed now, more real.
He has really been a stellar little guy this week. W ith the exception of last night (up after only 3 hours instead od his usual 5-6, perhaps he was cold?) he's been sleeping pretty well. And just a happy happy baby when he is awake, getting nice 2 hour naps in... I could get used to this. But as Ellen always tells us in Baby and Me group (I really miss going to my groups!!!!) everything is a phase and the good news and bad news is that phases don't last very long.
Right now as I type Jack is laying next to me on the bed, looking up at me and at the ceiling light fixture in alternation, entertaining himself with his hands, kicking his legs onto me, and hiccuping. This is the nice part of it all.
November 9th, 2007
Back to work! I have made it through my first week as a working mother. While it wasn't as bad as I had myself worked up for, it WAS exhausting. Jack has slept pretty well, for the 10 week old baby that he is, anyway. But it has been so very busy at work. What a time of yeat to go back. I wasn't really thinking about the progress reports, conferences, data meetings ... all of this in addition to figuring out my schedule, getting to know the kids, keeping up with the actual teaching. One plus-- the days at work have gone very fast. Before I know it each day, its 4:00 and I am rushing home to take over baby duty so Nat can head off to work.
The sad part of it all is that my "shift" with Jack is during his sleepy/needy/fussy time of day. All he's wanted to do in the evenings is nurse and nap. I miss being home for the mornings, when he is so charming and happy. I barely get to see a smile from him and its time for bed. He is really becoming a stickler for his early bedtime, and we can't argue with him as he is a much nicer little baby when he is well-rested. And, in my newly-working-mom state of constant fatigue, I can't say I am sad to have an excuse to curtail evening events....
October 28th, 2007
We celebrated Jack's 2-month birthday today by singing to him and blowing out a scented candle we had in the living room. Terrifically festive! :) We also enjoyed going to the gym this morning to work out with Melinda and Will-- Jack walked about 3 miles! In his stroller, anyway, as we took turns pushing him around the track and using the weights. It felt great to work out, even if we were just walking and doing some pretty light weights, and Jack cooperated well. In fact, for the past 2 days he has been just delightful during the day, happy as a clam overall, unless he's hungry 0r we are bathing him. He keeps busy exploring the fact that he has a tongue and that he can put it in and out of his mouth, and hands work for that too. A happy baby is a good thing. Especially after Friday night, when the poor little guy screamed for 3 hours straight. He'd gotten his shots at his pedi appointment in the afternoon, crashed for a bit, then woke up and didn't know why his legs hurt. It was a very sad evening for all of us. Thankfully he's a tough kid and has put that behind him.
Speaking of pedi appointments, here are the big man's stats, as a 2 month old:Weight: 13 pounds 10 ounces, 97th percentile
Height: 24 and 1/2 inches, 92nd percentile
Head Circumference: 16 inches, 50th percentile.
My son has a small head, its official. At least he's cute.
October 25th, 2007
"Sleep" (One of the two topics I am able to discuss right now. The other being poop.)
Jack is 8 weeks and 2 days old today. It seems that time is going faster and faster the older he gets. It took much longer for get through weeks 1 and 2 than it's taken to get from week 6 to week 8. Then again, that could be sleep deprivation talking. It was a bit of a rough week, week 7, as far as sleep goes. Jack had several nights of not wanting to be laid down, and thus taking until 12:30 or 1 am to get to sleep for the night. For a woman going on 4 interrupted hours of sleep a night, this felt pretty darn late (even though college-Amanda is appalled that adult-Amanda has become so embarassingly OLD to think such a thing...). After 3 straight nights of wondering why in the world we had this baby anyway, we gave in to Jack's desire to not be put down, and since then I've been sleeping with him in my arms, which allows him to go to sleep between 8:30 and 9:30 and cut out a very fussy late evening period. He's damn cute there and seems to sleep well (we got a 6 hour stretch! first one! yay!) but I am waking up every morning with a stiff neck. I spend 10 hours in bed and wake up feeling rather tired still. Can't please me, huh?
I think none of this would matter nearly as much if I was not returning to work in a matter of days. Well, I still have over a week but it sure is coming fast considering I had 9 of them to look forward to back when Jack was born not so long ago. I am worried about my ability to function out in the working world on limited, or kind of crappy, sleep, and I'll no longer have the luxury of going back to bed from 7 to 9am as I did this morning. So tonight we are switching tacks and seeing how it goes for Nat to put Jack to bed, in the hopes that he'll get him to go to sleep when NOT physically attached to me. I can hear the fussing from upstairs but I am trying to wait it out and give it a chance before I rush down to let him re-attach and send both of us to bed.
This is hard.
And it feels so very much later than 9:00. Sigh.
October 18th, 2007
Everything in this world can wait, except your baby.
That's the quote that stuck with me as I was reading "Trees make the best mobiles" last night. I think that Jack may be the one thing that can truly teach me to be a more patient person. He certainly has brought a new level of waiting into my life; waiting for the second trimester, waiting for my due date, waiting for labor, waiting for each new milestone to emerge. Not to mention waiting for him to wake up to eat, and waiting for him to go back to sleep. Today, as he took a lovely 2 and a half hour nap, I found myself resenting all the waiting, thinking, "oh, if only I'd known he'd sleep so long, I could've gotten my e-check done, or done any number of things around the house..." I had to work pretty hard to remind myself that everything else can wait. That nap, right then, was important for Jack, and it would be important for me to be there to love him and feed him whenever he woke up. Now, at 6:00 he has just gone down for his early evening cat-nap. He actually went to sleep, while lying down in his Moses basket, by himself, no pacifier. Momentous. And I sit here typing and feeling much happier with myself, for the supreme act of patience that helped him achieve this-- recognizing his cues, trying a few places in the house to see where he could relax, singing to him and holding his pacifier in for him, rocking the basket, sitting oh-so-quietly next to him there on the floor while he settled in to sleep so he could feel my presence. All the while reminding myself that everything else can wait. The call of the computer, the dishes, the puttering about the house, getting a drink and a snack-- not important. This moment, with Jack's peaceful sleep-smiling face turned up at me, his arms thrown by his head, nestled with utter abandonment into the blankets-- this moment is all that matters.
October 13th, 2007 (retrospectively)
We went out for a family "date" tonight to California Pizza Kitchen. Jack did pretty well, except for demanding to sit at the table. We'd been a bit leary of trying to eat out with fuss-butt, but perhaps we'll be trying it more often... Here are some photos...
October 15th, 2007
7 weeks. The weeks are slipping by too fast for me to update more often than once a week, it seems. Oops. Jack has been a smiling machine this week. Its exciting to see his personality finally emerge. He seems like a real little person now all of a sudden. The downside is that all the smiling and looking at us, combined with his huge-ness (little tiny 7 week old weighed in at 13. 3 at group today!) makes me expect him to act even older than he is, and its easy to be irked when he reverts back to fussing or sleeping or not sleeping or some other newborn-baby-like behavior. Overall, though, Jack has been a much LESS fussy baby this past week. In fact this evening was the first one in 3 days that we had a real gas-induced crying jag. I am allowing myself to hope that we might be on the uphill slope out of his fussy period. Please let it be so.
His eyebrows are darkening up this week. This helps the whole facial-expression thing a lot.
Tonight while we were allowing him to stay up 3 hours past his bedtime, he cooed and it sounded just like he said "Ankura" in a very high baby voice. What's next, Taipei? Sometimes he's damn endearing. Makes up for the fact that it 1:30 and we still aren't in bed for the night...
October 9th, 2007
Jack is 6 weeks old! (yesterday, in fact.) I remember the first few times I went to lactation group, looking at those moms with 6 week old babies, thinking their babies seemed so big, so old. Thinking that it would be an impossibly long time before Jack got to that age. Yet here we are. Time is hurtling by.
This past weekend we went on our first road trip, to take Jack to upstate NY. We wanted to do it while the weather was still decent so that he could have a chance to get into the lake water before next summer. We certainly got the nice weather! It was over 80 and sunny the whole weekend. In October! Jack did really well on the car ride, slept the entire time we were on the highway. He was a bit of a fussbucket on Saturday-- I think perhaps he missed the small semblance of a routine we have at home? Thank goodness for the unconditional love of grandmothers; he was saved from the gypsies once again.
Some week 6 milestones: Jack is smiling!!! I have faith that everything will be easier now, because he is so damn cute when he smiles. We noticed last week he was doing a lot more "practice" smiling, and some of them *seemed* to be aimed at us. But starting on Sunday he has been looking right at people's faces and giving big, repeated grins, with his eyes all crinkled up. He's definitely smiling at us now, though it's not yet consistent and really seems to happen most in the morning. Haven't gotten a picture of a "real" smile yet, we'll have to work on that.
In addition, the poor boy is losing his hair. He is definitely balding on the sides and I think soon he may have just a little ring around the back. We've gotten used to him with his silky brown hair-- it'll be strange to have a baldy! But here's another chance for it to come in curly. Come on, curls... He has had, over the past week, an awful case of baby acne, threatening to take over his whole head over the weekend (its visible in one of the pics below). Then, as if on cue, it disappeared by his 6 week birthday. He looks much better now. Important for a kid who really is depending on his looks for survival right now.
His eyelashes are also much longer these days.
He continues to be a major fuss butt in the evenings and has a hard time dealing with his intestines and the gas they produce. Poor baby. Poor us. Thank god for Mylicon gas drops and bouncing on daddy's knee. One refreshing thing is that he is learning how to have different cries, so we get a little variety as we listen to him wail. The best one is the "I'm SOOOO sad" cry, in which he pushes out his bottom lip as far as it will go, closes his eyes, then drops his lower lip down like a muppet while making a sound that truly does sound like "Ooowaaah." I can't take him seriously when he does it. We'll have to get a picture of that one too....
Here are a few pics from NY:
October 1st, 2007
Nat noted today that perhaps we ought to call September of this year "Jacktember." This month has flown by almost unnoticed. Sometimes I still feel like it's August (the freakishly warm and sunny weather we've been having doesn't help my sense of time-displacement). Jack has finally been having some better nights after a rough week last week. Last night, in fact, he slept from 11:30-3am and then from 3:30-7! Good boy! Even if I do have to let him sleep on my chest for 30 minutes before I try to lay him down... small price to pay.
This little baby is getting big so fast. He is so much heavier and takes up more room in our arms-- it's more challenging to carry him in a cradle hold with one arm than it was just a few days ago. He is trying to work on his head control, though, to help us. He can hold his head up for a good 20-30 seconds when we support him in a sitting position, and longer when he is on our shoulders. He's also been enjoying the BabyBjorn in the face-forward position-- it keeps him really alert and builds those neck muscles.
He's really becoming a lot more interesting socially, too. It's so great to have him really look at us, now. He notices us when we come in the room and sometimes he'll fuss when he's alone in his crib, just to get us to come back and talk to him. He cooed for the first time a couple nights ago! He is smiling a lot more-- not really in response to our smiles, yet, but starting to use his eyes (I think he's going to have the Cobes "moon eyes" when he smiles!) and his whole face. You can't help but smile when he does-- he is just too cute! He continues to be very good at getting us to waste immense amounts of time just sitting around looking at him. Who needs to get things done around the house, or scrapbook the 50 pictures I just had printed, or anything else? :) Thank goodness for the sling and the way he loves to nap in it, or this website would not be getting updated right now.
September 25th, 2007
Time flies!!! Here we are at 4 weeks old! Jack is really turning into more of a "baby" these days, less of a newborn. Little changes, like the way his hands are filling out and seem more in proportion to the rest of him now, and the fact that he really looks at our faces now, all of a sudden. He's getting huge, too! Today at Lactation group he weighed in at 11 pounds 7 ounces! I am a little worried about how I will be able to hold this child in a few months! It's amazing to look back at pictures of him and see how much he's grown already!
September 18th, 2007
Jack is 3 weeks old. I can't believe my baby is 3 weeks old. Already. These days, blurring into one another seamlessly, are flying by. It's strange how I can be ready for the fun and interaction of a 3 month old to get here SOON-- while still wishing this time wouldn't go so fast. He is so very little. And soft. And it is wonderful the way he turns into a little ball on my chest, all breath and silky skin and warmth.
September 17th, 2007
We gave Jack his first bottle today. It was a bit emotional, as despite the exhaustion that comes from being on milk duty 24-7, I think I've gotten attached to my role as "sole provider". We were a bit apprehensive about whether he would take the bottle, and had a quick exit planned for me if he started screaming. But turns out he was a champ and sucked that bottle right down with no problem. If anything, he ate a bit too fast. . . then I worried a bit if he would take the breast again. . . and once again, no worries. He's a little sucker, our boy. Now I just have to get my milk supply revved up a bit for this extra pumping, and then look forward to a few 5 hour stretches of sleep at night. Wow.
September 16th, 2007
I have been a mother for 18 days now and I am not yet sure how I feel about it. I am not sure it's really a very well designed process. First, let's let the woman get all out of shape for 9 months. Then, put her through a painful, hellish marathon called labor, leaving her weakened and sore for the next week. And just when she is feeling that way, present her with a small, vulnerable, squalling creature who depends on her utterly and needs round the clock care, feeding, and clean-up duty. Make sure she never gets more than 2 hours of sleep at a stretch, and mix up her hormones so that she feels the need to sob uncontrollably at least one time a day for no real reason. I just don't understand how the human species has continued this long. I really don't.
Except when Jack smiles in his sleep. Then, at least for a moment, I understand.
August 30th, 2007
We brought Jack home from the hospital today. It was surreal, driving off with him. Nine months of waiting and now we have this real live little baby. I can't believe he's actually here. . . We were surprised they let us out of the parking lot. You mean you are really going to trust us with this little creature? Really? Because we don't know what we are doing!!! But here we are. We had the most wonderful nap when we got home, all three of us in the bed, for 2 full hours. It's like Jack knew he was home, too, and snuggled right in. the pre-blog blog, as it were.
...January 26th, 2008
A busy week has flown past.... Jack is 21 weeks old and it kind of boggles my mind that we are nearly halfway through our "Your Baby Week by Week" book. Those 52 weeks that seemed impossibly long, this midway point that seemed impossibly far away... suddenly we are here.
And, suddenly, Jack knows how to sit up on his own. Last week he seemed to be making incremental progress, day by day, sitting unassisted for a few seconds here and there, balancing on his arms when you helped him out a bit (the famous "tripod" position...) Then, this morning I plopped him on the blanket to show off his emerging skills to his grandma, and lo and behold! He sat up on his own for a good 5 minutes! He even danced himself around, wiggling and bopping, and kept his balance the whole time. It was pretty damn impressive. Not to say that he doesn't still have plenty of bobbles, and due to the fact that our floors are decidedly un-padded I like to make sure I have a hand by him at all times... but wow! This feels like a major step. Can't beleive this is the same baby as that squishy, floppy little thing we brought home.
Jack really seems to like sitting up. He reaches for toys, plays with his hands, and is generally quite excited. He also sticks out his tongue. This is his other new trick: He is practicing to be the next Gene Simmons, apparently, sticking his tongue out as far as it will go, straight out the front, then the side. He is able to "talk" and to laugh with his tongue like this, which makes it even funnier. It's pretty hard to take the little guy seriously when he gets that big goofy grin WITH his tongue poking out too. Silly baby!
We've decided over the past week that if Jack were a breed of dog, he'd be a Newfoundland. He has developed a rather complacent and content personality (again, is this really the same baby we brought home?????) He recently met an age-mate at one of his playgroups who, Nat reports, was rolling all over the place. Jack, by contrast, tends to stay on his back when we put him there, content to look around and watch the world go by. Roll, scootch, or even stretch to get that toy over there? No thanks, I've got my hand right here. Oooooh, hand....I could put this in my mouth.... That's our boy. A bit of a stoner already.
The upside of having a lazy baby is that his lazy parents can continue to be a bit lazy about babyproofing the house. W'eve been too busy playing around with new paint colors to really start to think about cupboard locks and gates... I imagine one of these days he's going to find some internal motivation and try to move about, but really, are we in any hurry for that?
January 19th, 2008
Jack and Corydon and I had a nearly perfect Saturday morning: we spent the hours of 7-10:30am in bed! Aah, sweet sleep! Jack woke up at 6am, all stuffy. I was dismayed, as this was my day to sleep in. I got up with him for an hour, steamed him by showering with him in the bathroom with me.. then when he got hungry I decided to lay down to feed him, on the off chance that he was ready for a nap-- turns out he was! We luxuriated in bed, all three of us, Jack snuggled up next to me, Corydon next to him, as the winter sun came up and filtered into the room. Jack slept with wonderful, deep abandon, arms flung above his head, cheeks rosy from the warmth of a down comforter and mommy's boobs. Sometimes I really like this kid.
January 17th, 2008
A few more firsts:
On Tuesday Jack rolled from his back to his tummy. I was at work and did not get to see it... but Nat reports that little man was not all that pleased to find himself on his belly.
As of Monday he is very sucessfully and purposefully sucking his thumb. Really cute. Probably won't be quite so cute when he's four, but...
Last night we resorted to drugging our child to try to get him to sleep. We really aren't sure what is causing his spree of night waking, and we certainly have no good ideas on how to helop him stop. We are trying this "dream feeding" thing where Nat sneaks in and gives him a bottle arudn 10:30 without waking him up, to circumvent his 11:30 waking, in case he is waking then from hunger. I suppose in that sense it is technically working, but it is certainly not giving us the long stretch of sleep that we are looking for-- he is making it to all of 12:30 now. Last night he was up 3 times between 12 and 3, when I finally just brought him into bed with us, where he nursed 3 more times before 6am. What was that about still functioning??? I am really hating my alarm these days.
Anyways, we are wondering if maybe he's teething, since we can't think of any other excuse for him right now, so at his 1:30 waking last night he got tylenol. I think he may be a junkie. He slurped it down and laid there blinking contentedly as soon as he finished. From a frantic scream to a pleased gaze in seconds. I doubt the drug worked that fast! I think he just likes strawberry flavoring (like mother, like son). But, like dreamfeeding, that had limited success anyway, considering he was up again an hour and fifteen minutes later.
I am really wondering how we are supposed to be "enjoying every minute of our time with our baby" when we are so stinking tired and frustrated with him. I'll reiterate that it is a good thing he has a cute smile.
January 15th, 2008
20 weeks! That means 140 days. And, of course, 140 sleepless nights. When I think about it that way I am frankly amazed that I am functioning at all at this poin....
January 12th, 2008
A few "firsts" today:
* At lunch today little man was being handed over to me. He actively turned his body toward me and reached both arms in my direction!
* He also reached his arms up before I picked him up when he was laying on the bed.
* Tonight on his changing table of happiness, he was squirming about and putting his feet straight up in the air and grabbing his toes (this is his new changing table behavior for the past 3-4 days) and then-- he got his left foot into his mouth! I have no idea why I find that so cute and so exciting, but I do. It was really frigging adorable.
In fact, it was so cute that I scooped up little nearly-naked Jack and ran for the camera, hoping I could catch him doing it again (I didn't). As I carried him I was struck by how incredibly, perfectly silky-soft his skin is, how he is exactly the right amount of soft and squishy and warm to touch. It is almost unreal how delightful all that brand new baby skin can be. A sad thing about winter: he is almost always covered up in clothes, and we so rarely get to experience the squeezable babyness of him...
On an entirely different note, today we went out to lunch with Grandma at It's It Deli. As we were eating a woman who'd been seated near us came over. First she complimented my coat (the leopard skin one, on which I invariably get at least one compliment EVERY time I wear it) then she went on to say that we had made her day, because we were such a beautiful, loving family with such a perfect baby. I was touched. It is lovely to recieve unsolicited praise. I need to remember to return the favor, more often.
Jack has been a bit of a superstar today, impressing strangers everywhere we go. The woman seated next to us at Pacific East tonight just couldn't get enough of him. She made sure to tell us several times that the secret to raising a baby is to take him everywhere with you (I agree!) and just gushed over how well-behaved, alert, and pretty Jack is. We said "thank you" a lot and also noted that she ought to see him at 2am before making too much of a judgement! (yes, that's code for the fact that our boy, star that he is, still has not mastered the night time sleep. I keep thinking that one of these days its just going to happen, he'll figure it out and sleep 10 continuous hours-- can you imagine! That has not happened. Sigh. The crazy thing is he goes to bed (in his crib, swaddled) like a dream. He seems to be doing so well at this time of night, all peaceful, sleeping soundly. You'd think he's a great sleeper and wouldn't expect the every-two-hours-all-night waking that we got from him last night. )
I do wish sleep was not so frustrating. I really do enjoy 4-month-old Jack. The lack of sleep issue ends up detracting from my full, unadulterated enjoyment, though. I am tempted to start wishing for him to grow up faster, so he could get to the point where he'll learn to sleep. But I don't really want that. Because I don't want to miss out on any of the squirmy, squishy baby moments, the chewing of feet on the changing table, the scrunch nosed smiles and giggles and drooly mouthed "ahh's," the little hands that enthusiastically grab everything, especially my hair, the nuzzling little head, covered with the softest hair in the world, the snuggly way he curls into me to eat, and the abandon of his sleep when he is full, his eyelashes and his blinking, wide eyed wonder at the world....
January 10th, 2008
You'd never know I was on break for 2 weeks, by how little I've written on this site! The New Year has come and with it comes a new color for our living room and dining room walls, continued sleepless nights for mom and dad, and the rest of the school year. We rang in the new Year at Melinda and Will's, and Jack came along to the party. Wowed us by falling asleep in their Pack and Play as though he did it every day, and sleeping there from 9 til 1am. Then he came down and got some partying in himself.
(picture to follow-- check back!)
I started back to work on Monday and it feels like my first week back after leave, all over again. Six am is so very cold and dark, not at all a time when anyone should have to get up. Really. Least of all a very tired mom who has been up3-5 times with her non-sleeping baby over the course of the night....
Poor non-sleeping boy has been fighting his first cold for about 12 days now. Not a very severe one, thank goodness, but enough of a sneezy, then runny, then stuffy nose to make him just a little droopy and a little less likely to sleep well...
What is really unbelieveable is that my tiny little baby is 4 and a half months old. At his 4 month visit he tipped the scales at 17 pounds 2 ounces and was 26.5 inches long (that's 90th percentile in both for those of you who think in terms of statistics!) His head is catching up a bit, in the 75th percentile now. No more little pin head! :) He was pronounced in good health and on track.
Here are some neat things my 19 week old baby is doing:
*He finally rolled over again the other day! first time since he was 3 months..
* He is getting very proficient with his hands. He looks at a toy with the utmost concentration and then carefully reaches out for it, and gets a good grip about 90% of the time. He'll bring ANYTHING to his mouth!
*He is so sweet when he nurses, he reaches up and holds onto my shirt, or bra strap, and looks up at me. What is NOT so cute is when he gets distracted by something (which happens ALL the time) and whips his head around to look at it, WITHOUT opening his mouth... ouch! At least there are no teeth yet!
*He has the sweetest "hello mom" smile when he wakes in the morning and whenever I come into the room.
*He will "razz" back and forth with a person. In particular, with Melinda. He loves her!
*His conversation skills include lots of "mmm's" and "ahh's" with a few squeals and "bleeurs" mixed in. When he is upset he will string together quite an assortment of consanants...
*His favorite toys are chains of linking rings, his peacock, and anything that is super soft-- blankets, Peanut the doll, Corydon's ears.
*He likes to snuggle into blankets to fall asleep.
*He has two laughs-- a belly chuckle and a high-pitched giggle. He laughs most at Corydon, and at silly sounds like "blah blah" or "Turkey pot pie"
*He is starting to really enjoy "children's songs"-- he loves One,two, buckle my shoe and If you're happy and you know it.
December 25th, 2007
Merry Christmas, Jack! It was a splendid, opulent Christmas morning, thanks in no small part to young master Jack and the ridiculous amounts of presents we all felt compelled to give him... that, and the masterful use of ribbon on this year's packages. If I do say so myself.
Jack was a wonderful Christmas baby, happy and easy going for the duration. Highlights of the day: We opened stocking presents "just the 4 of us." Jack's favorite present was actually out of daddy's stocking-- a black plastic serving spoon.
He happily held and licked this spoon for about 5 minutes before Nat and I had the bright idea to go wash the dollar store grime off of it. Parents of the year, that's us... Jack actually protested having the spoon taken away from him! First time he's done that.
When Grandma and Becca arrived, we distributed the massive pile of presents. Jack made it through opening 3 of his tree presents (he picked the one he wanted to open first, reaching out for it-- so cute!) before he needed some alone time and a nap. We finished our tree presents and brunch while he slept then it was the Jack show as he opened his remaining 7 presents with the 4 of us just watching him!
December 21st, 2007
Finally! Winter break starts tomorrow. It is Christmas crunch time now... it's quite amazing how much more time evertying takes with our little man around... and how little we have done for Christmas right now! 4 days! I know that Jack won't care a lick how the presents look. But I do! I have this incredible desire to have everything be perfect, because its his first Christmas, the one that will be immortalized in pictures. Oh, wait, everything that happens these days is immortalized in pictures. :)
We are going on 2 weeks of "crib transition". I should not let the fact that Jack is still waking up 5-6 times a night obscure the progress that has in fact been made. It is no small thing that he can now (drum roll) fall asleep on his own, in the crib, with no crying! Of course for the no-crying thing to happen, our timing has to be perfect, and we've gone back to swaddling him (bought a couple "baby straightjackets" for him!) because he would rub his eyes and get himself all agitated. But-- he just can't seem to manage to stay asleep for longer than 3 hours, despite his seemingly perfect send-off. Almost without fail he's waking at 11, needing 5-45 minutes of intermittent patting and shushing and paci-ing to get back to sleep. We are sticking to our guns, only getting him up to eat after a 6 hour stretch... but he has yet to make those 6 hours without waking! And, the past few nights, he is waking for a quick "soothe" every hour after 2am. This is getting a bit (pardon the pun) tiresome. I am trying to be patient-- he is, after all, just a baby-- but I am wondering what more we can do to break this habit. I feel like we are doing a lot of things right, according to the books...
To complicate matters further, today I did some reading online that indicated that 4 month olds often do need to nurse more frequently at night, because they are so distractible, and so busy with milestones, that they legitimately do not get enough calories during the day. So now I am wondering, should we be feeding him at 11? Am I starving him, or compromising my milk supply? I just wish he'd go back to that idyllic schedule of only waking at 2am and 6am, so we could relax and stop worrying about this...
In other news: two nights ago Jack entertained himself by holding and chewing on a rattle-book for about 5 minutes. Crazy that this is the same baby who could hardly track that same toy with his eyes 3 months ago. He is changing so fast! And yet at the same time his growth is imperceptible. I know he is huge, a big boy for 4 months and probably double his size at birth, but I still think of him as little. Especially when he snuggles his head into my chest. He is starting some very endearing habits recently, too, like holding onto my shirt while he nurses, or pulling off to look up, gaze at me all blue-eyed, and smile. I guess he has to make up for this whole sleep thing somehow.
December 10th, 2007
Welcome to the machine...
...or the crib, anyways. Little non-sleeper boy started his nights in the crib on Friday, with mixed results. Night one, was, as expected, a bit rough. It was amazing, though, how much more patience I had with him, knowing that we were the ones making him do something new. Or, as he would put it, torturing him. Putting him to bed has been a bit of an ordeal. His bedtime routine will go as usual, and he'll fall asleep nursing, so sweet. Then I lay him in the crib and twitch, twitch, squirm....SCREAM! We are being "tough" and not picking him up, so I'll stand there trying to get him to take a pacifier, patting his chest, rubbing his belly, while he screams up at me with this hurt look on his face.. "WHY am I in here??? Why won't you pick me UUUUPPPP????".. hitting me with his little besocked hands. I feel like a horrible person. But, in the end he HAS fallen asleep. Friday was not so great, up about 4 times and no sleep at all from 3-4am, but Saturday he slept for 7 hours straight! Last night he was up about every 2 hours, of course, knowing I had to get up to work... I am trying to be strong, because I do beleive we'll ALL sleep better once he can sleep comfortably in the crib. A big part of me wants to just bring him back in bed with us. I think to myself, he's better at sleeping soundly now (and he does seem to be, when I bring him in bed with us after his 4-6am feeding). But I know that we wake each other up all night, that he does more night waking to nurse, that I don't get real, restful sleep. And if Jack is a happier baby when he gets enough rest, that's nothing compared to how much happier MOMMY is when she gets enough rest. It'll be worth it. I hope.
On a more positive note, the little man has been really delightful during the day recently, and is really getting better about going places with us. We took him down to Hiram on Friday night for the Hiram USA dinner and reception and he was really a superstar, flirting with everyone who talked to him, sitting quietly in his carseat, being generally adorable. He repeated that performance on Sunday when I took him to book club. We can forgive a lot when he is capable of acting like this! I was quite proud of him.
Oh, and he laughed again last night, 3 little chuckles when I played "get your nose" with him.
December 7th, 2007
A Series of Discouraging Nights...
I think it may be obvious to readers of this page that Jack has not been an easy sleeper. Based on his history, we know better than to expect perfection, or 10-12 hour stretches of sleep, despite his substantial size and increasing age. BUT, we had kind of gotten used to the acceptable schedule of sleep he'd gotten himself on: a 6 hour stretch, eat, a 3 hour stretch, eat, a 2 hour stretch and up for the day. I could live with that and even have 1/3 or more of my brain functioning at work.
So, it came as a rude surprise when 2 nights ago he was up crying 5 times between 11pm and 6am, and last night, up 3 times between 12 and 6. I feel like I've gone back in time to his newborn days, and I feel almost that foggy at work. It is so frustrating! There's no reason that we can see for this sudden change of heart. I might think, growth spurt, except for the fact that last night, when he was up at 1, 3, and 5, he hardly ate anything. So he's not starving. And he's too young for teeth. And we DO have a space heater going in his room so its not the frigid temperature of our house... My personal opinion at the moment is that he is a vindictive little baby who does not want his mommy to sleep. This is based on the fact that after I got out of bed today at 6am, he proceeded to sleep well for 2 more hours-- better than he'd done since 1am... I imagine his train of thought like this: Finally! I got her out of bed for good! She's even dressed! Yes, NOW I can finally rest...
OK, so I know he's not a vindictive baby. But he's certainly not scoring any points here.
The only positive to this is that we're realizing we may as well start the dreaded "transition to the crib" now-- if we're already getting crappy sleep, why not give him a reason to have crappy sleep, and get it out of the way now?
What's sad about this is that I was finally feeling my attitude about the little guy improve a bit. He was being so cute, and nice, nigh charming... Nothing is charming about his screaming and carrying on at 3am. Sigh...
November 28th, 2007
Rock and Roll...
Jack is 3 months old today! In anticipation, he rolled over last night! Really rolled over, not flipping over in anger or anything.... We were at Grandma's house and I put him on his tummy to show off how well he's holding his head up these days. He was being adorable, propped up on his forearms, looking around with a nigh-beatific expression. Grandma went to get her camera, and had to change the batteries, and then, just as she went to get a picture of the perfect tummy-time babe, bloop! Over he went. He seemed a bit surprised to be on his back all of a sudden! We put him on his tummy again, and he rolled again about 2 minutes later, both times to his left. Pretty exciting. He got a bit grumpy when I put him on his tummy a 3rd time (poor guy) and this time, when I think he really WANTED to roll, he couldn't quite figure it out... so we're not perfect yet but it was still thrilling to reach this milestone. We've had a bit of a dry spell for big milestones, since smiling at week 6! He's just been slowly refining things mlike head control and cooing... and then in the past week we've had reaching/grabbing and rolling over. There'll be no stopping this kid soon. Which I am not sure we are ready for.... !
I am not sure I am ready for him to grow up so fast anymore, either! I was seeing no problem at all with that newborn phase hustling right along. But I think I rather like 3-month old Jack. He's pretty darn cute, all smiley and responsive and alert, curious about the world and active-- but still small (kind of!) and snuggly (sometimes) and very fun to dress in tiny clothes. He's great right now and I'd like to hold on to that for a while!
November 26th, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
We had a successful second trip to NY this past weekend-- we took Jack, and my mom and sister and Corydon too!-- to Claire's house for Thanksgiving. Jack played the part of delightful young man for the whole time. He was sweet and alert and even stayed on his nap schedule for the most part. I think we had Gunther along!
One exciting trend Jack decided to start was the "5am monster poop" -- three mornings in a row he woke up flailing and grunting at 5 am and then proceeded to poop through his pjs! We washed his swing cover three times in 3 days. Here's hoping for just another phase! (that waking up at 11:30pm thing? a 2 week long phase, that does, mercifully, seem to be ending).
Jack will be 13 weeks old tomorrow. It's crazy to think that the time is fast approaching when we won't refer to his age in weeks anymore. Not that long ago we talked about his age in days. Wow.
Here are some things he is doing now:
About 5 days ago he started really opening up his hands, feeling things, grabbing things. He loves the chime toy he borrowed from cousin Alex; he'll reach both hands for it and try to hold it. He likes holding and feeling his blankets, and holds my hand and my shirt when he is nursing (so sweet!)
He rolled over from his tummy to his back today! But we aren't sure its on purpose, yet. He really only does it when he's mad.
He is holding his head up so well when he's on his tummy. He is pushing his chest off the floor now too.
He still loves Mr. Red and the rest of the mobile guys, and loves to talk to them when he first gets up in the morning. He also likes to sit up in bed when he wakes up, and look out the bedroom window, or, if its still dark, at the digital clock on daddy's side of the bed.
He is starting to coo and gurgle to get our attention. And he gives these great smiles when he succeeds, smiles that seem to say, "YOU! You're the wonderful one! You're my whole world, in fact." He is adorable. Of course, it's hard to capture thes smiles on film as he is so interested in cameras now that he stops what he is doing to stare in rapt fascination...
November 20th, 2007
Jack has a new favorite song, one that epitomizes his personality, I think:
99 degrees in the water
99 degrees in the tub
He can swim, swim, swim all day long
if it's 99 degrees in the tub.
Our little man, who has to have everything "just so" , who can tell when the temperature of his bathwater is perfect-- and lets us know when its not!
Novemember 16th, 200
Today Jack and Corydon and I were hanging out on the bed, Jack snuggled up next to Cor who occasionally licked his head in a vaguely interested fashion. It was all very sweet. I was struck by just how big Jack has gotten, somehow without my really noticing. Yes, we've been chronicling his every move for over 11 weeks now, and I've been paying almost excruciatingly close attention to the little guy, 24-7 up til 2 weeks ago. yet somehow it truly feels like yesterday that Jack seemed impossibly small next to Corydon. That day we brought him home, we put him on the bed and he was this tiny, vulnerable little bundle of babyness and now, he is a little person. Wide eyes and crazy facial expressions, playing with sticking out his tongue and smiling up at me, grabbing Corydon's fur and looking around the room. So much more formed now, more real.
He has really been a stellar little guy this week. W ith the exception of last night (up after only 3 hours instead od his usual 5-6, perhaps he was cold?) he's been sleeping pretty well. And just a happy happy baby when he is awake, getting nice 2 hour naps in... I could get used to this. But as Ellen always tells us in Baby and Me group (I really miss going to my groups!!!!) everything is a phase and the good news and bad news is that phases don't last very long.
Right now as I type Jack is laying next to me on the bed, looking up at me and at the ceiling light fixture in alternation, entertaining himself with his hands, kicking his legs onto me, and hiccuping. This is the nice part of it all.
November 9th, 2007
Back to work! I have made it through my first week as a working mother. While it wasn't as bad as I had myself worked up for, it WAS exhausting. Jack has slept pretty well, for the 10 week old baby that he is, anyway. But it has been so very busy at work. What a time of yeat to go back. I wasn't really thinking about the progress reports, conferences, data meetings ... all of this in addition to figuring out my schedule, getting to know the kids, keeping up with the actual teaching. One plus-- the days at work have gone very fast. Before I know it each day, its 4:00 and I am rushing home to take over baby duty so Nat can head off to work.
The sad part of it all is that my "shift" with Jack is during his sleepy/needy/fussy time of day. All he's wanted to do in the evenings is nurse and nap. I miss being home for the mornings, when he is so charming and happy. I barely get to see a smile from him and its time for bed. He is really becoming a stickler for his early bedtime, and we can't argue with him as he is a much nicer little baby when he is well-rested. And, in my newly-working-mom state of constant fatigue, I can't say I am sad to have an excuse to curtail evening events....
October 28th, 2007
We celebrated Jack's 2-month birthday today by singing to him and blowing out a scented candle we had in the living room. Terrifically festive! :) We also enjoyed going to the gym this morning to work out with Melinda and Will-- Jack walked about 3 miles! In his stroller, anyway, as we took turns pushing him around the track and using the weights. It felt great to work out, even if we were just walking and doing some pretty light weights, and Jack cooperated well. In fact, for the past 2 days he has been just delightful during the day, happy as a clam overall, unless he's hungry 0r we are bathing him. He keeps busy exploring the fact that he has a tongue and that he can put it in and out of his mouth, and hands work for that too. A happy baby is a good thing. Especially after Friday night, when the poor little guy screamed for 3 hours straight. He'd gotten his shots at his pedi appointment in the afternoon, crashed for a bit, then woke up and didn't know why his legs hurt. It was a very sad evening for all of us. Thankfully he's a tough kid and has put that behind him.
Speaking of pedi appointments, here are the big man's stats, as a 2 month old:Weight: 13 pounds 10 ounces, 97th percentile
Height: 24 and 1/2 inches, 92nd percentile
Head Circumference: 16 inches, 50th percentile.
My son has a small head, its official. At least he's cute.
October 25th, 2007
"Sleep" (One of the two topics I am able to discuss right now. The other being poop.)
Jack is 8 weeks and 2 days old today. It seems that time is going faster and faster the older he gets. It took much longer for get through weeks 1 and 2 than it's taken to get from week 6 to week 8. Then again, that could be sleep deprivation talking. It was a bit of a rough week, week 7, as far as sleep goes. Jack had several nights of not wanting to be laid down, and thus taking until 12:30 or 1 am to get to sleep for the night. For a woman going on 4 interrupted hours of sleep a night, this felt pretty darn late (even though college-Amanda is appalled that adult-Amanda has become so embarassingly OLD to think such a thing...). After 3 straight nights of wondering why in the world we had this baby anyway, we gave in to Jack's desire to not be put down, and since then I've been sleeping with him in my arms, which allows him to go to sleep between 8:30 and 9:30 and cut out a very fussy late evening period. He's damn cute there and seems to sleep well (we got a 6 hour stretch! first one! yay!) but I am waking up every morning with a stiff neck. I spend 10 hours in bed and wake up feeling rather tired still. Can't please me, huh?
I think none of this would matter nearly as much if I was not returning to work in a matter of days. Well, I still have over a week but it sure is coming fast considering I had 9 of them to look forward to back when Jack was born not so long ago. I am worried about my ability to function out in the working world on limited, or kind of crappy, sleep, and I'll no longer have the luxury of going back to bed from 7 to 9am as I did this morning. So tonight we are switching tacks and seeing how it goes for Nat to put Jack to bed, in the hopes that he'll get him to go to sleep when NOT physically attached to me. I can hear the fussing from upstairs but I am trying to wait it out and give it a chance before I rush down to let him re-attach and send both of us to bed.
This is hard.
And it feels so very much later than 9:00. Sigh.
October 18th, 2007
Everything in this world can wait, except your baby.
That's the quote that stuck with me as I was reading "Trees make the best mobiles" last night. I think that Jack may be the one thing that can truly teach me to be a more patient person. He certainly has brought a new level of waiting into my life; waiting for the second trimester, waiting for my due date, waiting for labor, waiting for each new milestone to emerge. Not to mention waiting for him to wake up to eat, and waiting for him to go back to sleep. Today, as he took a lovely 2 and a half hour nap, I found myself resenting all the waiting, thinking, "oh, if only I'd known he'd sleep so long, I could've gotten my e-check done, or done any number of things around the house..." I had to work pretty hard to remind myself that everything else can wait. That nap, right then, was important for Jack, and it would be important for me to be there to love him and feed him whenever he woke up. Now, at 6:00 he has just gone down for his early evening cat-nap. He actually went to sleep, while lying down in his Moses basket, by himself, no pacifier. Momentous. And I sit here typing and feeling much happier with myself, for the supreme act of patience that helped him achieve this-- recognizing his cues, trying a few places in the house to see where he could relax, singing to him and holding his pacifier in for him, rocking the basket, sitting oh-so-quietly next to him there on the floor while he settled in to sleep so he could feel my presence. All the while reminding myself that everything else can wait. The call of the computer, the dishes, the puttering about the house, getting a drink and a snack-- not important. This moment, with Jack's peaceful sleep-smiling face turned up at me, his arms thrown by his head, nestled with utter abandonment into the blankets-- this moment is all that matters.
October 13th, 2007 (retrospectively)
We went out for a family "date" tonight to California Pizza Kitchen. Jack did pretty well, except for demanding to sit at the table. We'd been a bit leary of trying to eat out with fuss-butt, but perhaps we'll be trying it more often... Here are some photos...
October 15th, 2007
7 weeks. The weeks are slipping by too fast for me to update more often than once a week, it seems. Oops. Jack has been a smiling machine this week. Its exciting to see his personality finally emerge. He seems like a real little person now all of a sudden. The downside is that all the smiling and looking at us, combined with his huge-ness (little tiny 7 week old weighed in at 13. 3 at group today!) makes me expect him to act even older than he is, and its easy to be irked when he reverts back to fussing or sleeping or not sleeping or some other newborn-baby-like behavior. Overall, though, Jack has been a much LESS fussy baby this past week. In fact this evening was the first one in 3 days that we had a real gas-induced crying jag. I am allowing myself to hope that we might be on the uphill slope out of his fussy period. Please let it be so.
His eyebrows are darkening up this week. This helps the whole facial-expression thing a lot.
Tonight while we were allowing him to stay up 3 hours past his bedtime, he cooed and it sounded just like he said "Ankura" in a very high baby voice. What's next, Taipei? Sometimes he's damn endearing. Makes up for the fact that it 1:30 and we still aren't in bed for the night...
October 9th, 2007
Jack is 6 weeks old! (yesterday, in fact.) I remember the first few times I went to lactation group, looking at those moms with 6 week old babies, thinking their babies seemed so big, so old. Thinking that it would be an impossibly long time before Jack got to that age. Yet here we are. Time is hurtling by.
This past weekend we went on our first road trip, to take Jack to upstate NY. We wanted to do it while the weather was still decent so that he could have a chance to get into the lake water before next summer. We certainly got the nice weather! It was over 80 and sunny the whole weekend. In October! Jack did really well on the car ride, slept the entire time we were on the highway. He was a bit of a fussbucket on Saturday-- I think perhaps he missed the small semblance of a routine we have at home? Thank goodness for the unconditional love of grandmothers; he was saved from the gypsies once again.
Some week 6 milestones: Jack is smiling!!! I have faith that everything will be easier now, because he is so damn cute when he smiles. We noticed last week he was doing a lot more "practice" smiling, and some of them *seemed* to be aimed at us. But starting on Sunday he has been looking right at people's faces and giving big, repeated grins, with his eyes all crinkled up. He's definitely smiling at us now, though it's not yet consistent and really seems to happen most in the morning. Haven't gotten a picture of a "real" smile yet, we'll have to work on that.
In addition, the poor boy is losing his hair. He is definitely balding on the sides and I think soon he may have just a little ring around the back. We've gotten used to him with his silky brown hair-- it'll be strange to have a baldy! But here's another chance for it to come in curly. Come on, curls... He has had, over the past week, an awful case of baby acne, threatening to take over his whole head over the weekend (its visible in one of the pics below). Then, as if on cue, it disappeared by his 6 week birthday. He looks much better now. Important for a kid who really is depending on his looks for survival right now.
His eyelashes are also much longer these days.
He continues to be a major fuss butt in the evenings and has a hard time dealing with his intestines and the gas they produce. Poor baby. Poor us. Thank god for Mylicon gas drops and bouncing on daddy's knee. One refreshing thing is that he is learning how to have different cries, so we get a little variety as we listen to him wail. The best one is the "I'm SOOOO sad" cry, in which he pushes out his bottom lip as far as it will go, closes his eyes, then drops his lower lip down like a muppet while making a sound that truly does sound like "Ooowaaah." I can't take him seriously when he does it. We'll have to get a picture of that one too....
Here are a few pics from NY:
October 1st, 2007
Nat noted today that perhaps we ought to call September of this year "Jacktember." This month has flown by almost unnoticed. Sometimes I still feel like it's August (the freakishly warm and sunny weather we've been having doesn't help my sense of time-displacement). Jack has finally been having some better nights after a rough week last week. Last night, in fact, he slept from 11:30-3am and then from 3:30-7! Good boy! Even if I do have to let him sleep on my chest for 30 minutes before I try to lay him down... small price to pay.
This little baby is getting big so fast. He is so much heavier and takes up more room in our arms-- it's more challenging to carry him in a cradle hold with one arm than it was just a few days ago. He is trying to work on his head control, though, to help us. He can hold his head up for a good 20-30 seconds when we support him in a sitting position, and longer when he is on our shoulders. He's also been enjoying the BabyBjorn in the face-forward position-- it keeps him really alert and builds those neck muscles.
He's really becoming a lot more interesting socially, too. It's so great to have him really look at us, now. He notices us when we come in the room and sometimes he'll fuss when he's alone in his crib, just to get us to come back and talk to him. He cooed for the first time a couple nights ago! He is smiling a lot more-- not really in response to our smiles, yet, but starting to use his eyes (I think he's going to have the Cobes "moon eyes" when he smiles!) and his whole face. You can't help but smile when he does-- he is just too cute! He continues to be very good at getting us to waste immense amounts of time just sitting around looking at him. Who needs to get things done around the house, or scrapbook the 50 pictures I just had printed, or anything else? :) Thank goodness for the sling and the way he loves to nap in it, or this website would not be getting updated right now.
September 25th, 2007
Time flies!!! Here we are at 4 weeks old! Jack is really turning into more of a "baby" these days, less of a newborn. Little changes, like the way his hands are filling out and seem more in proportion to the rest of him now, and the fact that he really looks at our faces now, all of a sudden. He's getting huge, too! Today at Lactation group he weighed in at 11 pounds 7 ounces! I am a little worried about how I will be able to hold this child in a few months! It's amazing to look back at pictures of him and see how much he's grown already!
September 18th, 2007
Jack is 3 weeks old. I can't believe my baby is 3 weeks old. Already. These days, blurring into one another seamlessly, are flying by. It's strange how I can be ready for the fun and interaction of a 3 month old to get here SOON-- while still wishing this time wouldn't go so fast. He is so very little. And soft. And it is wonderful the way he turns into a little ball on my chest, all breath and silky skin and warmth.
September 17th, 2007
We gave Jack his first bottle today. It was a bit emotional, as despite the exhaustion that comes from being on milk duty 24-7, I think I've gotten attached to my role as "sole provider". We were a bit apprehensive about whether he would take the bottle, and had a quick exit planned for me if he started screaming. But turns out he was a champ and sucked that bottle right down with no problem. If anything, he ate a bit too fast. . . then I worried a bit if he would take the breast again. . . and once again, no worries. He's a little sucker, our boy. Now I just have to get my milk supply revved up a bit for this extra pumping, and then look forward to a few 5 hour stretches of sleep at night. Wow.
September 16th, 2007
I have been a mother for 18 days now and I am not yet sure how I feel about it. I am not sure it's really a very well designed process. First, let's let the woman get all out of shape for 9 months. Then, put her through a painful, hellish marathon called labor, leaving her weakened and sore for the next week. And just when she is feeling that way, present her with a small, vulnerable, squalling creature who depends on her utterly and needs round the clock care, feeding, and clean-up duty. Make sure she never gets more than 2 hours of sleep at a stretch, and mix up her hormones so that she feels the need to sob uncontrollably at least one time a day for no real reason. I just don't understand how the human species has continued this long. I really don't.
Except when Jack smiles in his sleep. Then, at least for a moment, I understand.
August 30th, 2007
We brought Jack home from the hospital today. It was surreal, driving off with him. Nine months of waiting and now we have this real live little baby. I can't believe he's actually here. . . We were surprised they let us out of the parking lot. You mean you are really going to trust us with this little creature? Really? Because we don't know what we are doing!!! But here we are. We had the most wonderful nap when we got home, all three of us in the bed, for 2 full hours. It's like Jack knew he was home, too, and snuggled right in. the pre-blog blog, as it were.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)