A thread of hope

Some good things happened this week.  The most important one being that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were peacefully inaugurated as President and Vice President.  Also, Bernie Sanders wore an old coat and upcycled mittens to the inauguration and the world thought that was just the best thing ever, with people all over America using their spare time to photoshop him into every imaginable location. It was like we could all breathe enough again to have some fun. In our little world, we've had a calm week of school and screens and plenty of skiing.  What made it special was the undercurrent of new hope threading through the days.  Yes, the world is still a mess.  People dying of Covid, divisive politics, a slow economy rife with unemployment and struggle. But for the first time in 4 years we have a leadership team that actually CARES about the mess, and that has an actual PLAN to try and fix it all.  The fix won't happen quickly.  Life will continue to be so hard for so many. Yet we will be able to truly hope for change for the better and I am so grateful for that.   The other night  when I was tucking Ivy in we were talking a little about hard its been for her,  the remote school and isolation and worry.  Then she sat up in bed and said, "But Joe Biden is president now so he is going to help end Covid and make things better!'  Whew.  That's a lot to put on one man, but wow was it nice to see that glow of hope in my girl.  So I just said "Yes!" and we're going to go with the optimism for a while. 

Here's what we've  been doing with our January.  We are getting good use our of our warm clothing and our ski passes!

A hike at Viaduct Park and hot cocoa with our friends.  Little moments of togetherness.

Also, it should be noted that this little snowdog is officially preggo and has headed off to spend the next few months with Cindy.  We eagerly anticipate a road trip to Columbus to meet some babies soon!

A walk-date with my honey at Forest Hills. We decided to scope out this boarded up house on the edge of the East Cleveland side of the park.  We were interested to note icicles on the back gutter and wondered, where is the heat coming from for those.  Then I peeked in an exposed window corner (because that's what I do at empty houses) and was I ever surprised to see a television on inside!  We scampered away very quickly!   Who lives in a completely boarded up house??  

We've discovered the joy of Yahtzee, and find it works well during dinner.

Ivy continues to enjoy climbing with her friend.  Here she is conquering the Bouldering area. 

And skiing of course!  We are averaging 2-3 times per week which is exceeding my expectations by far.  I've always thought that we would not have time to get our money's worth out of a season pass.  Silver lining of this year-- turns out we're not doing anything else with our time, so running off to get a few runs in on a weeknight (or two) is just fine.  We are up to about 15 times out already, more than paying off our passes.  It's so great when you can say, without reservation, that you made the right decision.  The problem is, I am not sure we will be able to go back to life without a season pass after this... 

On Saturday Will joined us to ski and then we stood around a fire and ate pizza for about 2 hours with everyone and it was so fun.  Also we lowered our core temperatures significantly and we were all cold for the rest of the evening.  But 28 degree temps aren't going to keep up from spending time with our people!  Embracing winter and finding our fun where we can...

Skiier Smiles

So, the world is kind of a mess right now.  After a relatively calm start to the year, on January 6th we witnessed an attempted insurrection in our nation's capital as the Senate worked to count the electoral college votes to make Joe Biden's win official. Senators were just about to start 2 hours of debate because a number of members had voiced objections to the results, based on allegations of fraud (with no evidence to back them up). Senators were taken into lockdown (along with the electoral ballots, carried to safety by 4 female staffers with amazing presence of mind) while a bunch of buffoons in maga hats and face paint ransacked the Capitol and broke into offices.  There was a shocking lack of security and police enforcement in place, especially after the riot gear and tear gas and rubber bullets that met Black Lives Matter protesters over the summer. The President himself incited them to march on the capital and fight for the stolen election, then went silent and did not condemn the violence.  Infuritating and unsettling-- and also strangely abstract.  Life went on with work and school and dishes, even as the government was shut down.  And then government resumed and the senators went back to work, with a delay to give many speeches full of platitudes of peace and unity.  Biden's election was certified, and as of right now, about 60 of the rioters have been arrested and Trump has been banned from Twitter and Facebook for inciting violence, and Democrats are pushing for impeachment and/or the 25th amendment.  The general fear is that, with no significant, high level repercussions for this behavior, there will be more attacks and, eventually, potential for civil war or a sucessful coup in the future.  

So, you know.  Just a normal first week of January, right?

Meanwhile-- life does go on. The kids and I started back to school -- all remote for all of us, at least for one week (back to in person in Solon on the 11th).  Working from home had some lovely silver linings, with extra time for sleep, opportunities to go for a run over lunch, and the best commute ever.  And- we've been going skiing.  Frequently.  Having season passes is both freeing and high-pressure. We are doing our best to get to 8 visits because its all gravy after that.  We want to get out as often as possible but its also OK to only ski for an hour. 

Conditions have been very... Ohio.  Big piles of cornmeal mush on the few runs that are open, big crowds even with the "reservations only" Covid policy in place.  But that's not going to stop us from having fun!  After our first afternoon (most of which was spent on the surface lift portion of the bunny hill with Ivy), Nat and I brought the kids home and then went back out for more, and skiied two hours with the snow blowers going full blast, our goggles icing over on each run.  We had a great time.

Ivy has made steady progress, mastering the lift on day 3 and today, day 4 for her, she graduated to Blue and officially became a real skiier.  

It's been fun to watch her learn to love the sport, changing from "I don't want to ski" to "Let's go again, that was great!"

Today we were graced with a sunny afternoon and we soaked up the Vitamin D in the crisp cold air and rode up the quad chair as a family of four and every one of us had a great time.   And our season pass was suddenly worth every single penny. 

I am so grateful to have this opportunity for leisure and activity and fun even in the midst of the chaos of our world.   There't not much we can control in this madness, so we'll just have to put on our skiier's smiles and enjoy the days we're given.  Love and peace (and peaceful transition) to all of you. 

2021!

 It is palpable, the relief in the air these past few days.  I think we all, in our cores, believe that some sort of magic happens at New Year's, a secret switch is flipped and like that, the slate is literally clean and fresh and all things are made new.  

After the year we've had, its a delicious sort of hope, that's for sure.  Humans are eternally hopeful, and we are all very certain that  2020 is firmly behind us, and things are looking up.  I pray that is the case, even as a part of me remains dubious.  I think we have still got a long road in front of us before we are out of the madness of this pandemic, before life returns to "normal," or some semblance thereof.   And the way out is incremental, made of masks and distance and staggered multi-dose vaaccine schedules.  I know it's not going to happen at the snap of our collective fingers, or the turn of a calendar page...

And yet!  Hope springs eternal and the spirit of the New Year has me feeling reflective and resolute.  Time for a look back, and a deep breath forward...

2020, in brief:  

The year got off to a lovely start, full of friends and activities and schoolwork and singing.  The end of February found me singing in with three different choirs, volunteering with Community of Hope, running with 2 different run groups each week, teaching and parenting and cooking and caring for animals and trying valiantly to keep up with it all.  You know, just my usual life.  I'd come down with a doozy of a virus at the end of February that left me coughing for weeks but I soldiered through three concerts and my usual schedule of events without a break, only barely cognizant of the news of a scary new disease in China.  Then came March and with it this crazy surreal week where each day-each hour really- the news changed and we went from hearing about an outbreak at a nursing home in Seattle to a full state lockdown in Ohio over the course of about 5 days. Suddenly, my busy life ground to a halt.  Schools closed, then shifted to remote instruction, and we found ourselves figuring out Google Meet and Loom and Zoom and all sorts of technology, trying to make it work.  There was no toilet paper or hand sanitizer or even rubbing alcohol to be found.  Restaurants and museums and non-essential stores shut down. We left the house only for walks and groceries.  People hung teddy bears and rainbows and hearts in their windows and made signs in honor of healthcare workers.  We all made lots of schedules and ambitious plans to start new hobbies.  I checked 20 books out of the library the day before they closed but didn't read any of them until July.  We had nothing to do and yet living seemed to take all we had.  We were so lonely.  We took a lot of hikes in the metroparks.  Schools were going to be closed for just one week, then three, then maybe we'd go back for the last month, then state testing was cancelled for the year and we stayed remote all the way through.  We started Zoom Happy Hours with Hiram friends and held one every other day for 3 months.  Ivy learned to ride a bik! We made it through the school year in a surreal haze. We fostered a litter of kittens, then kept one of them  (welcome Sunny!) We cancelled our summer plans-- our big road trip, overnight horse camp for Ivy, swim team.  We went to Farley's for a three week stay and it was perfect, the most normal part of the year. Both kids learned to water ski and swam across the lake! We started a bunch of house projects and finished a couple of them, including building a new chicken coop.  We saw our friends outside and had cookouts with family and went out to eat on restaurant patios and life was pretty great. Jack joined the cross country team and watching his meets (and seeing our parent-friends there) became a highlight of the week.  I took a new teaching position in Solon (because why NOT start a brand new job during a pandemic when nothing is normal??) and started the year teaching remotely and fell in love with my sweet little students over the Zoom screen. Jack and Ivy have been remote for the whole school year so far and they are making it through, with the help of live google meets and set schedules (which works so much better for them than the "independent study" format of the previous spring.) Still, this is not going to be one for the books for our two, as far as academic achievement goes.  Turns out they really benefit from being AT school.  We've not had the energy to fight / guide them towards excellence, either, so we're all practicing being content with "good enough" this year. We went on a camping trip in 30 degree weather, which was something memorable, and had a surprisingly lovely Halloween, thanks to thoughtful neighbors. To shake things up a little bit, there was a presidential election in November, and a very nerve wracking week afterwards where the outcome was uncertain, and then a week of celebration after that, and then resigning ourselves to make it through 80 more days with the worst leader in the world. We had an outdoor Thanksgiving in New York and a lovely, if small and private, Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's Eve here at home. At some point in the late summer I realized that we had slipped from crisis into new-normal mode, and by late fall we'd settled into the routine of our new lives.  They are different, for sure.  Somehow still busy, though I'm never sure with what.  Singing in choirs is gone, as are weekend hangouts at friends' houses and school concerts and plays and sporting events.   We cook and eat at home a lot more than we used to, and spend plenty of time on the accompanying dishes.  We putter away at house projects and spend a lot of time on our respective screens (Facebook, youtube, or the xbox, depending on the family member), we try (with limited success) to get the kids to do their schoolwork and eat vegetables and practice instruments and do a few chorse, and we check the news a lot because you never know when things will change.  It's certainly not hour-by-hour any more, or even day by day.  We get a weekly update from Governor Dewine and Covid cases are they highest they've ever been, even as we feel like life is almost normal again.  We have hit 20 million cases in the US, with almost 350,000 people dead from the disease.  A new, more contagious variant has recently begun to spread.  But hope is on the horizon, with two new vaccines recently approved-- developed in under a year, a feat of modern science and cause for celebration to be sure.  The worry, though, is that people will hear "vaccine" and think "safe" and stop being vigilant with masking and social distancing, and cases will surge even higher in the next month.  It sure would be nice if people could think about others for a moment and we could stem the tide of deaths a bit as we work our way through the process of vaccinating our population.  This pandemic has brought to light the best of humanity, and the very worst.  A study in contrasts-- caution and denial, anxiety and hope, generosity and hoarding, brilliant science and ignorant fearmongering, crazy-fast changes and mudane normalcy, gratitude and loss. 

What do I miss the most about my old life?  Singing. And conversations with friends.  And hugs.  And gathering together quietly in each other's homes.  Eating out (real life happy hour!).  Theater. Travel.  My kids going to school- and all the school-related activities that added structure to our lives.  Being able to spontaneously head out to a museum, the Gardens, a festival-- all those things to DO, anytime we wanted to get out. 

What do I enjoy about this new pandemic-life? A slower pace, time to finish tasks and keep up (mostly) around the house.  Morning coffee with Nat while we plan our day (a tradition started during remote learning in the spring and one we continue on weekends now).  My new job.  Having family members from afar all together (on Zoom) for holidays in a way we just never bothered to do before. More time to cook and run and read and sink into each activity without rushing. A deep appreciation for all the things I miss so much-- may I never take them for granted again.   

What are my wishes for 2021?  Large scale vaccinations.  Reopened schools in time for Jack to start high school and Ivy to start middle school.  A vacation to a new place over the summer.  To sing with  other people again.   Actual leadership from our Federal government. Continued health and safety for my family.  I'll keep wearing a mask all the time if I have to, to get those things (I mean, I've got quite a collection of them now, so why not?)  

Resolutions?  That's hard to say.  One thing this year has taught me is to not plan too far ahead.  What are goals that will be realistic and relevant in whatever kind of life we've got coming this year?  I think maybe I'd like to start a daily yoga practice.  I'd also like to read more, as a replacement activity for my "doomscrolling" Facebook addiction.  And mostly keep trying to be grateful and content with who I am, where I am, right now in this moment.  To worry less, to stop planning and wishing for something more-- because this moment, be it normal or quarantined or frightening or boring or perfect-- this moment is my life.  The pandemic is actually helping me towards that goal, I think. There have been plenty of silver linings to having our lives turned upside down.  I hope we can hold on to what we've learned when get right side up again.  

Which should be any minute now because its 2021!  Happy, hopeful New Year to you all!