Box of Fun

We received a delightful package in the mail today (just what a still-sick birthday boy needed. Grandpa and Vovo sent a birthday package for Jack, with presents for everyone in the household too. How fun! Jack greeted me at the door with his new soccer ball ("I just LOVE balls, Mommy!") and so we went to the park. Ivy brought (and hugged and cuddled) one of her new dolls, too. (Good lord, how did this gender division happen? The further I go down this path of mothering a boy and a girl, the more I believe it MUST be inborn...)

At any rate, here's a video and some pictures for you, so you can share in the lovely evening we just had...







I think I may be in danger of becoming a soccer mom, with how cute that kid looks in a soccer jersey. Oh my.

The things he says, 4-year-old version

The birthday boy spent a good portion of his actual-factual birthday rather miserable with a fever. Sigh. The rest of the day? He spent it cracking us up with the things he says. A random sampling:

* This morning upon waking he was observed to look intently at his hands, feet, and tummy, and then remark, "How can I be 4?? I still look like I did when I was 3 1/2!"

* While playing an "I Spy" game, we had the following exchange:
(after finding the whale) Me: "Can you find another animal that lives in the water?"
Jack: (aiming flashlight at the fish) "F-i-sh"
Me: (pointing at the seal) "Where does this animal live?"
Jack: It lives sometimes on the land and sometimes in the water."
Me: "How did you find out so much about seals??"
Jack: "I don't know, I guess I just have a good brain."


* In the car on the way home from riding the trains at Penitentiary Glen (his birthday outing, which we managed to squeeze in before he started feeling crummy):

(note: this was pretty much out of the blue.)

"Daddy!!"
"What, Jack?"
"What if we had a waterproof smartphone and we could take pictures with it under water???"

This led, somehow, to a long discussion about waterproof cupcakes. Jack noted that a waterproof cupcake would be soggy, but not tooo soggy. Just a little bit.

(Oh, and lest we forget, a fine moment from last weekend, leaving the Greek Festival, Daddy walking ahead holding our newly purchased rainbow windsock which he had, moments before, compared to a squid. Jack, in the stroller, decided it would be fun to be pushed through the trailing tails of the windsock and so he enthusiastically ordered me, the whole way to the car: "Run the squid! C'mon mom! Run the squid!"

I could go on, if I could remember them all.

It is crazy to think this is the little tiny baby we weld in amazement 4 years ago today, little curled soft thing asleep on my chest and now he is this boy, barrel chested and lanky and talking up a storm, putting the world and words together and sorting it all out with impeccable, four-year-old logic.

He is a delight.

And, for the record, feeling "quite a bit" (his words) better thanks to the wonders of Advil, snugly tucked in under his new "bed shader" (AKA fabulous bed tent) up in that big bed, 3 newly-beloved Bakugan tucked in with him. He had a great weekend. So did we...

Birthday Boy!

It was a beautiful Saturday.



A perfect day, a blue-sky day, a soft-air-soft-breeze, not-so-buggy day. A wonderful day for a party.

The yard dressed up well.




And, there was cake.




And there were good friends.







And presents, of course!




There were cute little same-size boys playing Hotwheels in the back, cars leaping off the track, daddies working so hard to make it work and boys thrilled with just the attempt; there were cute little same-size girls with runny noses wandering the yard in their sing-song gait, up and down and up and down the stairs and the cellar door; new friends and old gathering and chatting at the table and the deck, a cute squishy baby to snuggle and two grandmas and an aunt to help. The sun filtered through the leaves and lit up all those little faces and we sat around and drank iced coffee and ate too many cupcakes and soaked it all in.

I love my kids' birthday parties.

And I love this boy.



He'll be 4 in just a few hours. Four years ago right now I was having a very long evening, hours that seemed so long but were but a blink in the scope of motherhood.... four years ago there was no turning back; a little baby boy was headed down a birth canal and into the world and ready to make me into a mommy, his mommy. He's tucked in upstairs in his new, big-boy loft bed and I don't know where these years have gone or how they've gone so fast but oh, it has been an amazing journey so far....

Happy Birthday, dear Jack.

Long Goodbye

The last weekend of summer break is bittersweet. Trying to fit in as many events as possible into these fleeting moments, acutely aware that this is it, the real world looms-- and that looming lays on a little veneer of stress over the days, an edge of mania and irritability under the surface of the enjoyment.

The kids have felt it as much as Nat and I. All day today Jack has swung between grumpiness, lethargy, and fits of giggling. He's been completely unenthusiastic about activities designed for his enjoyment (ie, refusing to go in the bounce house at the Greek Festival) as well as not listening and taking his dawdling to the limits of human tolerance. Nat was about ready to throttle him and I do hope tomorrow goes more smoothly for them when I abandon them to each other's devices. Ivy wasn't as bad but she has been a bit of a clingy momma's girl these past few days. They know change is coming. Though I think the maniacal boy at least will benefit from the return to a routine. We are hoping it will help him deal with life on a more even keel, as he's been very easily overwhelmed and emotional recently. Routine, and perhaps the magic of turning FOUR. We've heard good things about four...

But I digress. This post was supposed to provide you with pictures as well as an update on the Ivy-thing. I'll give it the old college try on the pictures but I don't think we'll get to an in-depth on Ivers tonight. So just let me tell you real quick that she's adding words to her vocabulary at a great rate, all of a sudden, and yesterday she said "crib", "bow" and "sticker" in the same 5 minutes. This morning, she said "beagle." I could go on, oh I could go on, because now that she is starting to sleep just a little bit better these past few nights, I am loving this baby so much... but I'll do her justice later this week. Promise.

For now, pictures. In reverse chronological order. For no particular reason.

Today we fit in two of our favorite summer events, Canine Fun Days and the Greek Fest. I think Canine Fun Days is one of my favorite days of the whole entire year. You really can't beat an event which draws HUNDREDS of the best-behaved dogs in the Cleveland area, and their owners, who all happen to love dogs, and a bunch of booths-of-crap that are all focused on dogs. Plus there's games-- for the dogs. We watched dock-diving and the "Best Biscuit Catcher" competition and Lure Coursing. Corydon rocked the Fear Factor course ( she's not brave, just oblivious...) and had a blast on the agility equipment.

Contrary to her face in this picture, Ivy loved the dog contest, clapping enthusiastically after each dog caught it's biscuit.


Here are Jack and I, about to run Cor around the agility ring. For a dog who only gets to do this about once a year, she did pretty well.



Jack had a great time walking Cor around for a while, away from the crowds. This is just before the deluge that had us hiding out under a tent with 6 greyhounds, 3 chihuahuas, a rescue dog adopted 5 minutes earlier, and their respective humans. It was a memorable trip.

Home for a bit, some time to relax in front of the television, and then off to the Greek Fest we went. Since Jack wouldn't go in the bounce house, we spent most of the time sitting at some nice tables set up in the shade by the Greek Coffee tent, while Jack and Ivy ran around and played with the poles holding up strings of lights. The sun slanted in on us and there was a lovely breeze and Greek music drifted over as we ate souvlaki and loukomathes and french fries and it was a gentle, sighing goodbye to summer break...
(pictures to come when we get them off the phone...)

Backtracking:

Last night we had one of Jack's friends over for the evening so her parents could go out to dinner (looking forward to our half of the kid trade equation sometime soon!). She's a lovely girl and she, Jack, and Ive had a great time together, cooking, playing school, and watching parts of both the Monster Fish documentary that Jack is currently obsessed with, and Mary Poppins. A few moments from the evening. It's hard to capture good shots when you're busy entertaining three very active littles, so pardon the poor photography...

The "crazy 3" holding still for just a moment to learn about very large fish...


You'll notice they are covered in stickers. That's from playing school. I couldn't get any action shots of that, as I was busy leading structured activities with 2 preschoolers and keeping one baby occupied the whole time, but here's what the table looked like when we were done.


Ivy loves spaghetti.


Man, this kid is good looking. Note the dimple. Which allows him to get away with anything.


And here is a little video of the kids as they waited for supper. Warning: you may want to turn your volume WAY down before watching...


Three kids = an adventure.

Backtracking:

Here are a few shots from our trip to the South Euclid Splash Park on Thursday.







Backtracking:

Some shots from our last weekend in Farley's. Jamie and Casey's wedding was really quite perfect... and brought back memories of 5 years ago, for sure... Here's the beautiful couple.



And the beautiful kids.





Note the pigtails.




Note the sky.



It's been a wonderful summer, folks. Thanks for sharing it with us. Wish me luck tomorrow as we jump into the school year... I'll be in touch...

Nonstop

Sorry for the dearth of pictures. I will make amends soon.

It all is, you know?

Summer and weekends and laundry and dishes, festivals and car rides and the mess in the playroom, flowers blooming and all the mosquitoes and my kids growing up every minute before my eyes.

Nonstop.

I'd like to press pause sometimes so I could just sit back and sift through it all, savor the good moments and write it all down. Freeze time and admire the light in my daughter's hair, my son's one-dimple smile, the faces alight with giggles as they tumble (one-second-from-disaster) together on the bed. I'd like to have a magial tape-recorder that would capture each and every funny phrase that comes out of the boy's mouth, share it on Facebook, then engrave it into my heart. I want to spend hours admiring the snuggled weight and softness of a sleeping babe in my arms, without feeling one twinge of "but I should really" as I rock her.

I'd like all that very much, thank you. I don't want to miss out on a second of the living, the doing, the busy rush of fun and work and the satisfaction of filling my days-- I just want some extra time on the side, too.

We are hurtling along toward my firstborn's FOURTH birthday. How that is possible, I cannot tell you. One week from tomorrow we'll have a party, with Hotwheels galore and twin-racing tracks with tunnels and lots of chocolate frosting for a boy to lick off of cupcakes. We'll fill the yard with 10-plus little people and their mommies and daddies and, if all goes well, our home will be full of friends til long after dark. It will be one of the best days of the year. As it should be, to celebrate that long long day, 4 years ago, when this little-big boy made me a mommy.

In the meantime we have Greek Festivals and Canine Fun Days and a lot of stressing out about the start of school; a first week of teaching to survive; nonstop life to keep up with. There's a lot of living to be done in the next 7 days.

But what I want to do, what I meant to do when I started writing tonight, is to step out of the living for a moment and try to hold on to my children as they are, right now, before this nonstop life grows them up anymore.

Jack.
The Jackman, Jackie, Jackie bear. The Boy. Twinkle eyes and ornery-ness and skinny legs and ribs, tan back and arms and hair that likes to stand up in the back. Emotional and enthusiastic, he is all elbows and knees when he runs or dances or hugs. He likes to put off bedtime and put off leaving and put off coming home. He likes to say "No" first. He likes to change his mind. He doesn't love mealtimes but he will always eat chocolate, hot dogs, or shredded cheese.

Loves his Hotwheels, with their ever-creative names: Red Car, Yellow Car, Silver Car, Snoofie-Snoofie-nee. Loves Dinosaur Train and Wordworld and SuperWhy and documentaries on giant fish or bugs or sharks. Likes to make his cars fly and fight and fall; likes to wrestle and roughhouse and build forts and knock things down.

Yep. He's a boy.

He's still deliberate, sometimes. Sometimes there's that baby boy, the little buddha, who would sit and examine his own hands or a spot on the floor. He still notices little things and little changes, questions any incongruity and seeks to explain and categorize and order his world. Then moments later he's running in circles yelling jibberish and giggling.

Yep, he's almost 4.

Oh how I wish I could tell you right now some of the things he's said today to make me smile. That nonstop life, gets in the way of remembering it, every time. I shall make that a goal this weekend, to capture some of his words. He's such a talker, he knows so much; some of the things he says are so astute, so surprising, so true. His syntax is so wonderful in its imperfection and I am in love with his soft "l" sounds... "There are some si- wohs, we must be close to Far-weey's!" despite the fact that they make him hard to understand sometimes. And he can't stand it when we don't understand him. He's not big on patience right now, bossy little man who talks back and demands and then wins us over again in a heartbeat when he finally remembers that "please" and that smile. That smile. That dimple that sneaks out when he tries to pout so there's no hiding when he's faking the grumpies.

He's not always faking, though. He needs his warm-up time, our boy. Naps are starting to go by the wayside and when he does fall asleep, in the car or after an hour of playing in his room, the wake-up is a long and difficult process. He watches and waits in any new situation and almost always warms up and jumps in (with enthusiasm!) if he just has enough time. The emotions only flare when we try to rush him in, in OUR enthusiasm that he participate, have fun, get in there and DO it. We must try to learn patience along with him. Because of course he's inherited my perfectionism. Gets so frustrated with himself when he can't draw like us, can't reach something, can't do anything right away. He holds back, says wrong answers on purpose, changes the subject or leaves the activity, anytime he feels like he might not know something, might not be perfect at it, right away.

( Note to my parents: Sound familiar? I don't know how you put up with me, I really don't.)

We are learning (slowly) to just back off. To just wait. To let him struggle with his own demons and do things when he's ready. Because he always does. A switch with flip and there he'll be. Walking. Running. Riding that bike. Writing his name (all except for the K, at least). Amazing us every day with the things he'd soaked up and learned just from being in the world.

Something wonderful he's been learning just recently is compassion. He's coming into his own as a big brother and he's starting to show concern for all of us, going out of his way to help (whether or not that help is appreciated by his sister), asking what's wrong when people are sad, making the most generous and thoughtful statements when you least expect them. "When I'm at my party I'll give all the ribbons to my friends and just have the last one for me." It's wonderful to see him becoming kind.

Happy and Kind. That's what I hope and pray my children grow up to be.

I think the Boy is on the right track.

Tune in for notes on Ivy later this weekend. Nonstop life has taken me an hour close to bedtime and I've got to be ready to meet this weekend head-on. Sleep well, friends.

Back to the real world...

Warning: the following post wanders into quasi-philosophical musings and contains absolutely no actual updates on the children. Feel free to skim and move on.

We're home again from Farley's and the real world is setting in. As we drove away from the lake I said goodbye to the water and goodbye to summer, too. School doesn't start, officially, til Monday and Nat isn't back til the week after that. But we were back in practice mode the morning after we got home, me off to tutor and work in my room, Nat off to Lakeland to write after a brief kid exchange in the afternoon.

There seems to be enough summer lingering in the air that these past few days haven't felt that hard. The mornings have been early but I've left school by 3 and that hour of difference makes a huge difference. There's time enough to walk tohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif the grocery store, make dinner AND play on the bed. Or to go to the splash park AND to Melinda's for dinner. I am left thinking, "I can do this."

I will hold on to that.

This teaching profession, it's big on creating transitions for you. The Great Divide of summer, breaking apart one year from the next. The way your life shifts for 2 months then has to swing back to a new center and everyone in your life has to swing along with it.

Melinda heads back to school next week, too, after just about two years off with her girls. Reading her post on her wonderful blog, about sending her girls to daycare for the first time, got me to thinking about my own shift in persona. Next week I officially turn back into a "working mom." Because I spend the larger part of the year thoroughly enmeshed in that role, it becomes the one that defines me as a parent. Even though I am coming off of a two month stretch of full-time mothering, I haven't once thought of myself as a full-time mom. I am just a working mom on break. And so I guess I take it for granted that I'll be leaving my kids, abandoning them really, stepping out of their lives for 10 hours a day 5 days a week, to go back to my job.

I suppose it makes it easier that I have the (absolute and amazing) luxury of leaving them, home snug in their beds, with their daddy. But also I have the (strange to call it this) luxury of never having know it any other way. Ten to fourteen weeks of maternity leave aside, I have never been home with my babes full time. Never, at least, on my own, the sole provider and helpmeet to the littles day in and day out. Never to the point at which it becomes who I am.

I'm a bit jealous of my friend, you know? She has gotten to be that person, really be her, for these two years. I think about what I've missed out on, as my babies have rocketed through their infancies in a series of evening walks and fleeting weekends. I wonder how it would have been, to be truly present for every bit of their babyhood. I wonder how that would have changed me.

And at the same time I bask in my luck that I do not have to go through what I imagine she is feeling right now: A change in self, a strange meshing of halves as she steps out of the role of "mom" and back into "teacher". The wondering, whether either one will truly fit again.

I know, of course, that they will fit, wonderfully. Because my friend is an amazing woman who is capable of all things. But (just like our pre-momma jeans) they won't feel the same. And it'll take some breaking in and stretching to get there.

We're used to that, though. Isn't that what's been happening for 4 years now, the constant adjustment to our new lives and selves? This transition back to work, its no more or less than all the moments of the days in between. A slide, a check, a change, questions and decisions and second-guessing and a healthy dose of sleep deprivation on the side.

And at the end of the day four soft arms wrapping around my legs and four shining eyes and two tiny voices that call me mommy and make my heart catch a little every time. And at the end of the day, wherever I've been all day, that's who I still am and who I will be when I leave again. At the end of the day, it's going to be fine.

Farley's II

We're back at our summer home-away-from-home and it feels great.

A different tone to the visit this time: we are focused on Jamo and Casey's wedding rather than solely the fine art of relaxation. Not to say that we are not relaxing. No, we slipped back into Farley's life like a comfortable shoe.

The upcoming wedding is exciting, but means that I am not seeing much of Nat this trip, as he is the best man and therefore busy at all times. I kind of miss him, you know? Luckily my mom (AKA Gram Gram) is along for this trip so we are teaming up with the kids. It's been a laid-back visit; many many trips to the park and round the castle loop, much playing on the porch with bristle-block spaceships and block towers, seeing the lake through windows rather than from the water. But oh, that is better than no lake at all!

We did get out for a perfect boat ride this afternoon. Both kids took a turn driving the boat-- Jack did it all by himself and let me tell you, that kid is not afraid to TURN. As I clutched the side of our swerving boat I also had to hold Ivy back from shoving her brother out of the way so she could get her hands on the wheel. Its kind of unreal, the extent to which she feel she MUST, immediately, do what Jack is doing. He puts a sweatshirt on, she goes and gets her sweater. He gets sunscreen on his arm, she sticks her arm out. He wears sandals, she tries to take them off his feet so she can wear them. Its a riot. It also involves a LOT of whining and a fair amount of pushing and grabbing. Oh joy.

Here are a few pictures from our brief moment on the lake (we went swimming this afternoon too...) More to come tomorrow. We're just back from the (pictureperfect and absolutelywonderful) wedding and I am off to bed soon...




Don't you just love the look on her face here? "That's right, I'VE got the wheel. And you better not mess with me, buddy."


He takes his driving seriously.

County Fair

Another day, another summer outing...

We went to the fair last night. On opening night, no less, as it was the our only chance to go before heading off to Farley's II.

It was great.



Got in for $1 (with a canned food donation) and we were treated to all the sights and sounds of Americana at its finest. Livestock barns, of course, where Jack and Ivy were disappointed by the lack of pettable cows, but enthralled with the very sociable miniature horses.

Here's Jack trying to call a calf over to the fence.



And, feeding the horses.



Other favorites included the sheep and goats, who were also quite friendly. Here's Ivy taking off to see what's across the barn. It seems a lot of pictures of her, recently, involve her striding off, fearlessly, away from us...



A dinner of more greasy food than we could handle, in the pavilion next to the chainsaw-carving guy (great choice, there, mom... Poor Jack had to go sit somewhere else so that he could eat; he just couldn't handle the noise. We were finally tipped off to this when he crawled under the table...)

And, the rides! This is why the fair is so wonderful. Where else in the civilized world can you find such a perfect combination: good selection of kiddie rides, elephant ears, AND barns full of cows?


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The girls, waiting for Jack. Next year, loves, next year...

Spazzmatics

That's the name of the 80's cover band playing at the Warehouse District Festival this evening. It is also a handy moniker for our children. Here are some videos of the dancing machines, to brighten up your evening...

Gardens galore...

We are drinking up summer, yes we are, and walking through gardens while we do it.



It's been a lovely week, really. A few days spent at school, doing tutoring and working in my room (and I have to tell you, I could really get into this being my level of work, all the time...), the rest of the time spent with my family. Jack and I had a mommy-son "date" on Wednesday and oh, it was delightful to spend some one on one time with that boy of mine. Turns out, he's pretty wonderful. And at his very best when he is getting absolute, one-to-one attention. We went out to breakfast and it was amazing-- he ate, we chatted, he was perfect. We went to the dollar store where he selected a new HotWheel and a "glow-up shooter." (Turns out, he's a boy, too. He noted at the art museum today, as we entered the armor court, "I just LOVE shooters!") Then we went to Wade Oval where we ran and chased balls, per his request. (When asked where we should go for our date, his response sounded something like "I can wear my sneakers and you can wear your sneakers and we can run and jump and I can jump while I am running and jump while I am walking." Kid knows what he wants.) A lovely morning. We met Nat and Ive for lunch at the parent center and then, in lieu of a rainy Wade Oval Wednesday, we went to Chick-Fil-A. Love that place. Peach Milkshakes and two happy kids in a Playplace. Not to mention air conditioning. Sublime.

Friday, we went to Stan Hywet. Melinda and Will and the gang met us there and we wpent a wonderful 3 hours in the gardens. In a few years we'll visit the house again... sigh... for this trip I enjoyed the view of the exterior architecture as seen over the tops of two little blonde heads.



Or sometimes, four.



Nat captured this one of Melinda and I, brood in tow. What would our college selves have thought of this...



I think they would be pleased. With the "Secret Garden", at any rate. It seems our children love these magical paths as much as we do.






Today, continued the theme, with a trip to the Botanical Gardens with friends Erik and Sarah and their daughter Claire (one week older than Jack, and his friend since the age of 10 months...) Children played in sand and dipped toes in the pond and climbed and laughed. Another hot, sunny, perfect day in an entrancing, perfect place. Can't help but think how wonderfully lucky we are. Wonderfully.






You'll notice in this next set the children are wearing different clothing. That's because these are from last week. We get to visit this place every week. See what I mean about lucky?

It is so cute to watch Ivy as she attempts to do every little thing Jack does...she knows just what to do.



Finally, the most kissable little face in the world. The boy was a little tired after our trip yesterday...