It is hard to come home from vacation. Really hard. I spent the first two days of our return alternating between anger and hopeless despair at the injustice that is this giant, cluttered, dark, falling-apart house of ours, at the lack of a lake just outside our door, at the steady intrusion of "real life" into our days.
Bleh.
So I hope you will forgive me for the quiet blog these past days. You didn't want to listen to what I had to say, trust me.
But I am better now.
A few good trips to our pool, walks in the neighborhood, removal of a box of toys from the playroom and everything that was not nailed down in the living room, along with a lot of mopping... and I am starting to be able to see the glow of our lives here again.
Its not so bad. I am really happy to have my garbage disposal back. It sure would be better with a lake, though..
Nat left yesterday morning for Winnipeg. (Really, it was just yesterday??)
He is off to prepare, defend, and revise his dissertation. This is a big week for him. Huge. He has been excited and terrified and ready and dreading this for a long time. I know that it is not a week of laurel-resting for my amazing husband, to be sure. And I am fairly certain that I would not trade places with him, even knowing that he is starting each day with breakfast at the Pancake House and that he gets to hang out with Nicole and Rob and spend time in the Icelandic Reading Room...
OK, I thought I was certain that I wouldn't trade.... hmmm..
In the meantime, here I am with the kids at home. I am so very soft, so very spoiled by my husband, by our team. Our shared efforts at parenting and housekeeping that make everything lighter. It is daunting to be here on my own. Daunting and very quiet at night. I have no excuse to be as tired as I am, as I think about all the single parents out there, who keep up with all of this and work too. I have my 7 days of "going-it-alone" while I am on vacation and I know how lucky I am. Lucky, because this is about all I can handle.
Let me preface this by saying that I adore my children, that they are beautiful shards of light on this earth and I am grateful to be their mother.
But good lord are they a demanding and whiny and energetic pair of little things!
Whew.
It's good to get that out.
It is hard to be the sole provider of all of your children's fun and excitement, the one who ensures that they use and enjoy their summer days. It is even harder to be the sole provider of food and comfort and discipline....
Did I mention discipline, and the fact that they've needed plenty?? And to know that you're on call, for all of these things, 24 hours a day...
Tonight, I am grateful that I only have to do this for 5 more days.
We've had a nice couple of days, overall, don't get me wrong. Pool time and playground time and help from my mom and picnics with friends. All the trappings of summer in place and duly enjoyed.
I'm just tired, that's all. And looking forward to Nat's triumphant return on Sunday.
Here are a few glimpses of the trappings of summer, in action...
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