Realization

So I had this sudden realization as I drove to work this past week: I have now been a "working mother" for longer than I was off on my maternity leave. Crazy. This time has gone so much faster than those first 9 weeks! Those endless, hazy days, marking each moment with Jack, each mini-milestone, each breath; living hour to hour, nap to nap. Nights that were no more than a series of naps themselves, days defined by whether it was a Breastfeeding Support Group day or not. It was really quite surreal. And we were so acutely aware of the passage of time that I think it all slowed down a bit...
Since I've been back to work the time is marked in a different way. Rather than hour to hour I am existing week to week. Or, weekend to weekend, really. The weeks are blurring past. I turn around and it is Tuesday again and we are taking another "weekly update" picture of Jack and I can't even keep up with reporting his milestones in his journal. Much less with all the pictures we are accumulating, or all the housework....I see Jack in 2 hour chunks when he is sleepy and he is growing so fast and I feel like I am not soaking it all in... At the same time I let the time slip by because I want the weekends to come, and the breaks. We are at the end of second quarter and I think to myself, "halfway til summer break!" with excitement. But then I realize that it means I am also halfway til Jack is 9 months old and I am not ready for him to grow up that fast! Not while I am not noticing. He is so sweet right now. Really a very good baby. Who knows what the next developmental stage will bring? Teething, mobility, hitting, potty training, tantrums, teenage years... Then again-- perhaps the next stage will bring sleeping through the night!