Eleven!

Can you believe it?  This has been Jack AND Ivy's blog for 11 years now.  My tiny baby is an official tween and so grown up that she planned and executed most of her own birthday party.  

I feel both sadness and relief about handing the party planning reins over to her.  

(I am also very proud.)

This year her family celebration and her friend party fell on the same day, which made for some extra-special levels of aniticipation, and one exhaustingly festive Saturday.  It was a wonderful day start to finish.  I was also grateful for a rainy Mother's Day to recuperate!

Party pictures first, reflection on being a mom to an eleven-year-old Ivy to follow...

Ivy designed the layout for the decorations and put up most of them herself, with a little assist on the high parts.  She did not want there to be an official "theme," but we agreed on "shades of blue" for the decor, and as she began to choose activities-- archery, fire starting, splatter painting-- the informal, unstated theme of "Danger is Fun"  emerged.

We put in quite a bit of work on the garage throughout the week leading up to the party, incluing placing flagstones and building little paver walls.  A little muddy still, but not as much of an eyesore.

 

I was quite pleased with this little display. Balloons are attached to the goody bags.

It's not a Morehouse birthday party without an agenda!

Ivy baked, layered, crumb-coated and frosted this cake all on her own!  

You know it's a Covid-era birthday party when EVERY guest you invite is able to come and they all arrive right on time. According to a few families this was the first party in over a year for their kiddo, and was talked about for weeks in advance...

The girls got right to work making their archery wrist guards and taking turns shooting arrows.  All of which managed to be done in about 20 minutes.  Really thought that part of the party would last a little longer...

Luckily we had the paint supplies at the ready.  The girls blew on paint, splattered paint, and even finger painted quite happily, producing many abstract, highly textured masterpieces, none of which were remotely dry by the end of the party.

The real hit of the party was a completely unplanned activity which we have dubbed "hammock wars."  Consistent with the "Danger is Fun" theme, this game consisted of wrapping two girls in the hammocks like burritos, then swinging them into one another.  Miraculously, there was only one minor injury.  Success!

Another surprise hit:  Toasted Marshmallow!  Lillian is apparently a bunny whisperer because Marshie NEVER lets us pick him up like this.  He just snuggled in, all relaxed, and was fawned over by all the girls.  Or, maybe he thought he was dead.  Hard to know with rabbits and their lack of facial expressions.

Snack time!  Put out three bags of chips and some kool aid and it was gone in about 5 minutes.  Danger is fun, AND hungry work. 

Vio had to leave a little early-  We took a break from festivities for a quick photo op of the besties  and a group photo of the whole crew.  I am grateful that these two have been able to maintain their friendship even at different schools.  It is a gift to have a friend "in the neighborhood."  I love the fact that they can bike to each other's houses, go to Zagara's together, have independence-building adventures...They are the sweetest together and I hope they get to be forever friends. 

Another favorite at the party-  Winter attacks!  Molly was just one of several girls who allowed themselves to be tackled and covered in kisses by this 25 pound bundle of love.  They did not seem to mind.

Dinner was grilled burgers and hot dogs and once again the girls made short work of their food.  I don't think I've ever had a party where all the plates were clean!  Unless Winter snagged the leftovers, which is certainly a possibility...

Cake and ice cream...

And even though the pinata was on the agenda last, the girls could not wait any longer.  Our very smoky attempts at fire building in the background (thanks for the wet wood, rainy week!) make these shots seem much more dramatic.

Here are the harpies descending on the candy.  The pinata broke fairly well, releasing a bit of candy on every go and letting at least 8 girls have a try.  

Trading candy afterwards...

I love how graciously our girl receives presents. She was careful to read and appreciate the cards first, making each guest feel valued for her contribution.  Heart of gold hiding behind all that tween attitude, I tell ya. 

After-party snuggles with our friends.  The adults were too tired for very much after-partying...these girls did us in!

But it was worth it.  I am so grateful the weather held and we could have a safe, REAL celebration outdoors for our girl this year. 

Everyone, say "Danger is fun!!" 

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Thoughts on eleven years:

This girl. How has time gone so fast?  

It seems like another lifetime that I brought home this little squishie.  Soft and sleepy and beloved.  I remember her newborn days as a one long haze of napping.  She was an easy tiny one, but she sparked up in a few months and took on the Morehouse baby habit of being far too busy to sleep.  My snuggle baby, she loved cosleeping and was happiest when nursing or tucked into the crook of my arm.  (for years!)

Ivy as a toddler and preschooler--   irresistable!  SO expressive.  SO blond.  So full of enthusiasm and joy.  We called her sunshine girl because she really was.  If she got angry, it was a quick storm.  She'd take herself to her room and emerge soon thereafter, ready to shine again.  A magical child.  I would shake my head and wonder what world she came from.  I'm sure those years weren't actually all rainbows and sunshine.  I recall that we described Ivy as "funny and fierce" and her tenacity likely showed itself quite often. But I tell you, looking at these pictures--it sure seems like she was made of light. Indulge me in a little trip down memory lane?  Just LOOK at this child. 

As she has grown up, our sunshine girl has shifted to be more shy and serious.  Still funny, but no longer outrageous. Still full of love and empathy, but often more interested in showing her tenacity and strong sense of justice and inquiry.  

This past year, the combination of a pandemic and emerging puberty seems to have closed the door between Ivy as a little girl, and the tween who lives in our house now.  Last year for her birthday she still wanted dolls.  This year, a black grommet belt and a katana from her favorite anime show...  Sunshine is more often clouded by very big feelings, alternating with apathy and disengagement. She still lights up, but for her friends rather than for us. It is all, I know, developmentally appropriate.  She's trying on new versions of herself and beginning to separate from her parents.  Appropriate-  but, as it turns out, not the most rewarding time in the parenting journey.

Eleven years in, this mama's heart is struggling.  No one said adolescence would be easy but I didn't quite expect this sense of loss.  I miss my tiny one who adored me day and night. I miss her soft hand in mine and her silly faces and exuberance.  I miss dressing her up like a living doll, and giggling with her and playing with toys and watching PBS kids. I miss being a mom to littles and I miss my sunshine girl. Somehow I blinked a moment too long and missed the moment it all changed, and I feel like I've been left behind.  I am constantly surprised by the young lady in my house, and wondering where I put my baby daughter.  I have to shift myself and learn how to see her for who she is becoming, not who she was for so long. How to appreciate this new phase (for more than just the fact that I get plenty of sleep now! because I will tell you, I do not miss the sleepless nights...)

Ivy at eleven is on the brink of her teen years. She has grown three inches this year. Sometimes poised and sometimes awkward, she is experimenting with clothing styles and attitudes.  Right now, you'll see her in Vans and jeans with a big sweatshirt or an anime crop top.  She loves to bake and paint and is becoming quite proficient at both of those things. She also loves youtube and anime and her phone a bit too much, and would spend all of her waking hours glued to a screen if we let her.  If you unglue her, though, she'll start to talk your ear off about elves and costumes and sketches she's made and her desire to visit the anime world portal, or enjoy reading (or re-reading) a graphic novel.

Ivy at eleven has not been thriving in a pandemic.  She's shy like her mama and has a small friend group, and this year has isolated her from them all.  She's lonely and bored much of the time and uses screens to distract herself and I wonder if who she really is right now might be colored over completely by the effects of this lost, Covid year.  I pray for a return to normalcy next year, and the chance for her to meet more friends and get involved and engaged in life at the middle school. 

 Ivy at eleven loves mango sorbet and chicken and bread with butter, but has eliminated most dairy from her own diet to help her tummy feel better.  She's taken to bike riding and rock climbing and asked for a pullup bar for her birthday.  She has expressed wanting to look like an anime character, and we've discussed realistic body expectations and striving for strength and health as a goal.  Ivy at eleven does NOT like piano lessons or unfair treatment or homework or being teased or going to bed.  Her night-owl tendencies have increased exponentially this year.  Her favorite things to do with us are playing games and watching movies, but she always has a wonderful time when we convince her to get outside, too. Even if she'd always rather stay home in her room. 

Ivy at eleven lives for her pet cat and wants to be a vet when she grows up and can have astute coversations about the world or just make silly faces, depending on her mood.  She's becoming brave and independent and will ride her bike to the grocery store by herself.  She's amazingly empathetic when someone genuinely needs help, even though sometimes it feels like she is ignoring all of us. She idolizes her friends and antagonizes her brother. She's not big on saying "I love you" or snuggling-- except for every once in a while, when she wants me to stay in her bed to sleep with her.  Sometimes I get a glimpse of that little baby in there, still...soft and sleepy and beloved.

Always beloved.