Morning. Quiet home, with everyone- even the dog-still asleep. Somehow the entire house smells like the warm spring rain falling outside, even when the windows are closed. The hope for spring permeates everything.
I am holding on to that hope even though there's a part of me that thinks it will be March forever. This whole experience just seems very March-ish to me. The grey, changeable skies and brown vistas of March are appropo. But spring will come! And life will go on in some form or another! And things will continue to change, that much alone is certain.
Over the past 3 days our US cases have risen to over 14,000, right on the exponential curve. Around this beautiful, frustrating, freedom-loving country of ours so many people are not taking this seriously. Photos of spring break parties on Florida beaches were astounding to me, sitting here on semi-house arrest. The governor of Florida has since started closing beaches but like all of this response, my gut feeling is that it's all too little, too late to stop this thing. Even more frightening, they are now seeing many hospitalizations and even deaths among 30-60 year olds, not just the elderly as previously thought. So all of a sudden staying home feels as much about protecting ourselves as looking out for the world. Kind of want to seal ourselves in for a month but I am not sure we've got the food we need...
Looking back on my life just 2 weeks ago (!), I am struck by how BUSY I was. I was aware of it at the time... I was so overstretched that I was late for everything, dropping the ball a lot... making it work but barely. Breathless. No time to keep up with the basics of life AND all the events, rehearsals, meetings, and deadlines.
Now suddenly I have nothing but time. Thank you universe for the reminder that we all need to slow down and breathe for a moment. I could just do without the underlying threat of death for myself and everyone I love, you know?
My baby sister was laid off without pay yesterday when her restaurant closed. I've been thinking with abstract sympathy of all the workers at these places that are shutting down for safety's sake. But suddenly it's a little more real- the economic fallout of this thing is going to be almost as terrifying as the health scare, I think. Especially if, as a recent report has suggested, we have to be on lockdown for 18 months. 18 months! I can't wrap my brain around that, sitting here at Day of home isolation and Week 2 of overwhelming-fear-and-anxiety-that-makes-my-chest-tight-all-the-time.
But here we are. At Day 4 and week 2 whether we like it or not. The only way out is through, people. So I will get up and make a daily schedule for our attempt at homeschool. It's going to involve making art and a read aloud today, I think. I'm going to get a couple more progress reports written because deadlines haven't gone away. I'm going to Zoom with my friends later and try to embrace this brave new world and find joy where I can. There are robins hopping about in our wet grass right now and they aren't worried at all. Trying to take a cue from them.
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