Our turn

 

Well, I suppose our turn had to come sometime.  This past weekend Ivy got sick, and then just as she bounced back on Monday, Nat began to feel a bit off.  Nat tested positive for Covid on Tuesday, Ivy on Wednesday, and our AirBnB boarder on Friday.  Jack and I remain negative as of today, and so we are now a family divided, with Nat and Ivy masking in the house and staying primarily in their room/office.  All indoor activities beyond work and school (for those of us allowed to leave the house) have been suspended, and we are staying close to home, spending our time on Facebook, watching TV, cleaning, monitoring symptoms, taking at home Covid tests and generally worrying as we count the days of quarantine.

The good news is that so far (day 7 for Ivy and day 5 for Nat), symptoms have been mild.  Ivy had a high fever over last weekend but now just has a slightly stuffy nose.  Nat has had a low grade fever and body aches with a slight cough, and just today lost his sense of smell/taste. I am grateful that so far my loved ones are having a mild course of things, and I am hoping it continues this way.  Ideally these 10-ish days of isolation and quarantine will be just a blip in the rearview mirror-- but as in all times of struggle, it feels right now like this will be our lives forever.  I have a tendency towards over-thinking (I know you are all surprised!) and the ensuing worry manifests as frustration and complaining.  Which has NOT been helping Nat to feel better, and the two of us are as snippy as can be.  I am pretty much the opposite of the loving, caring, patient and positive nurse that one would want while suffering from a novel virus with unpredictable symptoms.   I have resorted to leaving the house when not actively cooking, cleaning or caring, so as to not annoy him with my worry and venting, and not be annoyed when he asks me (with good reason!!) to stop...

Another interesting "side effect" of Covid that we are noticing, beside "extreme irratibility, even among healthy family members..." is "feeling like pariahs."  There was a definite sense of wanting to keep diagnoses private, and a feeling that we have failed to keep ourselves safe.  That having this virus in our household is some sort of moral failing, and that we are guilty of putting others at risk  now too...Hence this blog post-- trying to keep it real and fight the stigma, and put aside my own overinflated sense of personal responsibility.  We may not have been perfect, but we've taken care of ourselves pretty well and for the most part I think we've made good decisions during the pandemic.  But sometimes you get sick anyways.  

How do the kids seem to be faring through all this?  They are, as far as we can tell, living their best lives.  They were made for quarantine and Ivy in particular is thrilled to be in her room all day.  While I am feeling the loss of this perfect fall weekend (in another life we would be at Yankee Peddler today and hanging out with cousins tomorrow), I think the rest of my crew is feeling some relief at being off the hook for family outings, for once. 

I have been stealing some moments to myself to enjoy the spectacular September weather (and to breathe and keep my wits about me...) 

Beach trip with the dog on my day off Thursday...

A most lovely evening walk in our nieghborhood...

A spectacular sunset at Euclid Beach...

The "Maker's Market" at Van Aken today... 

All of these things have been lovely but much like when one travels abroad alone, there is a certain emptiness in not sharing all the beauty with the ones you love. 

We have been sneaking in some family dinners outside to get to see each other a bit...  perhaps not the best idea but we are hoping that being outdoors mitigates the risk...

The irony of the timing on all this is that it came so quickly on the heels of what was one of my best weekends ever.  So close that I'd not had even a moment to blog and capture the experience of my  "life as a music festival-er" for those amazing few days:  Seeing the Indigo Girls at Cain Park (from the front row!) with Nat and our Heights community, then flying to Chattanooga and spending two days drinking craft beer and listening to live music in the sun with my sister and a dear college friend (and seeing the Indigo Girls from the front row again!)... it really was amazing, no lie. While I wish (and wish and wish) my family did not have Covid in the first place, I am so grateful that it does not seem to have originated from my unnecessary and risky travel.  And so once we get through this I will be able to go back and watch my pirated videos and look at the pictures and enjoy the experience properly.  But right now it makes me feel guilty to think about enjoying myself so much there, while my family was getting sick at home.  So more on that another time.

For now-- back to the work of monitoring sick people, caring for animals, cleaning, keeping myself healthy, and getting through this quarantine without losing my mind...