Instead

Instead of moping because I am inside with sleepy-girl while Nat and Jack are out embracing summer--I will use this time to write.

Instead of griping and grumbling about how life has changed--I will notice the ways it is even more beautiful.

Instead of feeling trapped by where I am now--I will focus on what I am lucky to have.

Instead of worrying about the future--I will take more care to really taste the present moment...

Here we are.

The lake, the lovely. The view we get even when we are stuck inside because this magical little cottage we are privileged to call home always opens up to this. This place where we hear the laughter of old friends gathering, where sitting in the front lawn to talk is as much sport as sailing and swimming. Where boats are abundant and the sun glints and even storms are a visual feast.

This child of my heart. The one who softly slurs his "l" sounds and carefully strings his thoughts into the most wonderful, complex, sensible and utterly novel arrangements of words. Who makes the ornery-rotten faces and loves fire trucks and new books. Who questions why we say things and tries so hard to understand jokes. Who never fails to make me smile, even when I am frustrated with him.

This dog. This smelly damp beach-loving dog who grips my arm with her paw and licklicklicks with such tender ferocity to claim me as hers. This dog who is never where she can't check on us and lets me know right away when a baby is crying. Who takes over every couch and blanket as her own, who holds your eyes forever, and who barks and barks and makes an adorable nuisance of herself. My running companion, my boat dog, who makes every trip better and almost every moment sweeter.

The man I married. Yes, I know this is a picture of blocks on a picnic table. But what you don't see here is the time before this picture was taken, when the man I married sat across the table from my beautiful son for 45 minutes and carefully helped him create and interact with this little village, with its "firehome" and the fire pigs and of course the fire truck. His utter focus on his little boy, and the way the boy just ate it up. A picture never could've captured it. This man who makes my heart dance when he gives me that look of his-- and every time I see him with our children.

Baby smiles. Whatever trials and tribulations this tiny creature has brought to us, she somehow redeems herself by doing this. She beguiles me into loving her completely, with those eyelashes..

Wherever life takes me, I can look around and see these things I have and know in my soul how blessed I am to have them. These people and places to love and the time and health to do it. And, one hopes, the sense to stop complaining and worrying long enough to notice it all.