My life as a fangirl

As of yesterday, everyone in our house tested negative for Covid.  Such a relief. I feel like I've been given permission to smile and enjoy things again, without the fog of worry and exhaustion.  Nat's still tired and has a cough, so we are easing back into normal life...In the meantime I can look back on my amazing weekend of music and travel, without guilt.

This story starts back in April of 2020, when we were struggling with the first pandemic lockdown.  Anything and everything was being shifted online, and FB livestreams became a big thing to do.  The Indigo Girls jumped on that bandwagon and started doing a livestream concert once a month or so- and continued through most of the next year.  Watching them play was a way to be "together" with my friends, as we gathered for watch parties and commented to one another.  And the vibe of the concerts was awesome- imformal and intimate, like they were hanging out in our living room, chatting and experimenting and messing up some songs and laughing, talking about kids and politics and life.  The live stream concerts became one of the high points of the pandemic for me, a spot of hope and community-- and a chance to sing! So when the world began to open up again last summer, and the Indigo Girls began to float the idea of touring again, I vowed to go see them live. 

When a mid-September tour date was announced for Chicago, I floated the idea of a road trip and while lots of friends loved the idea, no one was ready to commit. But my friend Brandon in Tennessee let me know that they would also be stopping at the Moon River music festival in Chattanooga later that weekend, just a few hours from my sister's place... I messaged her the idea and within the hour we'd bought tickets and started to plan our weekend.  Then about a month later-- the Indigo Girls announced they'd be playing at Cain Park!  The Thursday before Moon River.  I only had one choice-- I got tickets for that show too, at the first available pre-sale opportunity.  Why not see my favorite band twice in a week??

Fast forward to September.  The Delta variant had arrived and our Covid cases in Ohio had gone from 175 a day when I booked by tickets to 5,000+ a day.  It was unsure if shows would continue, if it would be safe to travel...  the "normal life" we'd pinned our hopes on in early summer seemed like a shimmering illusion...

But September 9th was a clear, crisp, perfect day, the show was not cancelled, and we went ahead and took our vaccinated selves out to see a concert for the first time in about 2 years.

Along with most of the population of Cleveland Heights ( or at least just about everyone we know in CH).  We walked over early to get good seats-- I'd bought the highest priced tickets available at the presale but they still said "general admission."  When we went in, we got blue "VIP" wristbands and were told we could sit anywhere in the first 6 rows.  Woohoo! We were pretty excited.  We were even more excited to discover that most of the front row was still open.  What?  Here we are enjoying a Boss Dog IPA in our rockin' seats.  

Then we wandered the venue for a bit and ran into ALLLL the people we know.   We lost count around 20...

Then we watched a concert from the front row and it was awesome.

I sang my heart out, drank a lot of great beer, and couuld not stop smiling the whole night.  We lingered afterwards, not wanting the night to end, and very nearly scored a set list. 

At the Girls always post a copy on their Facebook page.  

Got home from the show around 11 and had to finish packing as my flight to Nashville left at 5:30 the next day.  Who needs sleep?  I floated through a day of work then headed to the airport. I was pleasantly surprised by how smooth and safe the airport and flying experience felt.  People were mask-compliant, even in Tennessee, and my trip was easy.  

Dinner with my sister on the patio of a great vegan deli she found for me in Nashville.  Love this girl.

Then we drove the 2 hours to "Nooga" as the locals call it, and checked in to our AirBnB (a room in this 1850's mansion), where we sat on the gorgeous mosaic tiled porch and talked for several hours. 

Day one of Moon River:

We got an early start, met this baby gecko on our way out of the house, and headed to check out the arts district in the cool of the morning.

It was utterly charming.  Nothing was open yet but that's ok. The views were fabulous, and free.

Then off to Brandon's house, where we would park and then join him and his crew to head to the festival, which was a mile from their house.  It was wasonderful to see him and his wife, Lisa, and check out their lovely home.  And, it turned out to be quite a treat to have friends who knew their way around the festval. We enjoyed getting to know everyone, and it was great to have a "base camp" in the shade to return to throughout the day.

Day one:  fun, new, exciting, HOT.  It was really really HOT.  We lounged on blankets, drank overpriced craft beer, refilled our water bottles a lot, and enjoyed listening to bands in the background while we talked. It was a little strange to have nothing else to do besides that.  I've quite forgotten how to relax! Also did I mention that it was hot? We ate dinner at a Vegan restaurant outside of the festival (who knew there were so many plant based restaurants in Tennesee??) to enjoy some air conditioning. And the best iced coffee I've had in a long time.  And we walked to a nearby walgreens to get some sunscreen because both of us had been thinking, September, who needs sunscreen anymore?  We did, it turns out.

We did go over to the big stage to watch the closing act that night, Lord Huron, one of Bec's favorite bands.  Not front row, but in the front crowd.  It was both fun and claustrophobic there.  Lots of excitement and cheering and also a lot of large people standing uncomfortably close.  Great, high energy performance, though!

Day two:  Breakfast at the pretty table...

... then off for an explore at a local state park.  We hiked a fairly nondescript path in the woods (no time to get to the mountains outside of town-- next time!) and thoroughly enjoyed this fishing pier on the river. 

Then, off to kayak!  We got an hour of free kayaing with our festival tickets, and it was a perfect day for it.  Turns out the kayak launch was right next to where the bands park their tour buses.  That's the Indigo Girls' merch trailer open in the background!

And their bus!  We totally lurked by it, and blew kisses.

Pretty little riverfront park. Chattanooga has so many charming spots and so many stunning views.

Kayaking with Becca and our new friend Laura.

After we got out of the water (only slightly damp), we booked it back in to the festival and I went immediately to the Lotus stage (while  band was playing on Iris) to see if I could score some good spots to watch our featured performance.   Turns out I could....front row again!   Becca brought us some beers and joined and we stood there claiming our spots for 45 minutes-- getting to know the people around us  on the rail (Casey and Shannon, best friends from Atlanta and Chicago, and Addie, a music-festival regular from Manchester) and drinking IPA in the hot sun, so that was ok. 

Then- a fabulous hour of singing along with my favorites from 10 feet away.

 

The view was even better than at Cain Park- daylight and so close!  And everyone on stage just looked like they were having SO much fun.

After the show my new bestie Casey caught one of the guitar picks-- and gave it to me!!

We decided to hang with our new friends in our front row spot for the next few bands ("we live here now) so took turns running to the porta potties and getting food, then had a blast dancing along to Old Crow Medicine Show.

Then Becca got the Indigo Girls set list for me because she's amazing.

We got to know these surly security boys.  I was amused by how much they were NOT having fun.

Stayed there to watch Drew Holcombe.

And then we HAD to sit down so we went back to base camp to see our friends (I learned they'd seen me on the jumbo-tron during the Indigo Girls!) and relax for a while.

The night cooled off and we reveled in the fun of it all, then listened to a bit of the final band before heading out because wow are music festivals in 90 degree heat tiring. 

It was an amazing trip.  I kept thinking, I literally cannot believe this is my life.  So much smiling.  I was feeling so great on Sunday I was wishing I could quit my job and just go on the road following the band... It was a hard stop to come home to a sick family, I'll tell you that.  But thankfully my crazy travel and weekend away did not seem to be the cause of any ills.  So I can box up the memory of this weekend, with my set list and guitar pick and VIP wristband, and pull it out sometimes and smile about my 4 days as a fangirl. 

Our turn

 

Well, I suppose our turn had to come sometime.  This past weekend Ivy got sick, and then just as she bounced back on Monday, Nat began to feel a bit off.  Nat tested positive for Covid on Tuesday, Ivy on Wednesday, and our AirBnB boarder on Friday.  Jack and I remain negative as of today, and so we are now a family divided, with Nat and Ivy masking in the house and staying primarily in their room/office.  All indoor activities beyond work and school (for those of us allowed to leave the house) have been suspended, and we are staying close to home, spending our time on Facebook, watching TV, cleaning, monitoring symptoms, taking at home Covid tests and generally worrying as we count the days of quarantine.

The good news is that so far (day 7 for Ivy and day 5 for Nat), symptoms have been mild.  Ivy had a high fever over last weekend but now just has a slightly stuffy nose.  Nat has had a low grade fever and body aches with a slight cough, and just today lost his sense of smell/taste. I am grateful that so far my loved ones are having a mild course of things, and I am hoping it continues this way.  Ideally these 10-ish days of isolation and quarantine will be just a blip in the rearview mirror-- but as in all times of struggle, it feels right now like this will be our lives forever.  I have a tendency towards over-thinking (I know you are all surprised!) and the ensuing worry manifests as frustration and complaining.  Which has NOT been helping Nat to feel better, and the two of us are as snippy as can be.  I am pretty much the opposite of the loving, caring, patient and positive nurse that one would want while suffering from a novel virus with unpredictable symptoms.   I have resorted to leaving the house when not actively cooking, cleaning or caring, so as to not annoy him with my worry and venting, and not be annoyed when he asks me (with good reason!!) to stop...

Another interesting "side effect" of Covid that we are noticing, beside "extreme irratibility, even among healthy family members..." is "feeling like pariahs."  There was a definite sense of wanting to keep diagnoses private, and a feeling that we have failed to keep ourselves safe.  That having this virus in our household is some sort of moral failing, and that we are guilty of putting others at risk  now too...Hence this blog post-- trying to keep it real and fight the stigma, and put aside my own overinflated sense of personal responsibility.  We may not have been perfect, but we've taken care of ourselves pretty well and for the most part I think we've made good decisions during the pandemic.  But sometimes you get sick anyways.  

How do the kids seem to be faring through all this?  They are, as far as we can tell, living their best lives.  They were made for quarantine and Ivy in particular is thrilled to be in her room all day.  While I am feeling the loss of this perfect fall weekend (in another life we would be at Yankee Peddler today and hanging out with cousins tomorrow), I think the rest of my crew is feeling some relief at being off the hook for family outings, for once. 

I have been stealing some moments to myself to enjoy the spectacular September weather (and to breathe and keep my wits about me...) 

Beach trip with the dog on my day off Thursday...

A most lovely evening walk in our nieghborhood...

A spectacular sunset at Euclid Beach...

The "Maker's Market" at Van Aken today... 

All of these things have been lovely but much like when one travels abroad alone, there is a certain emptiness in not sharing all the beauty with the ones you love. 

We have been sneaking in some family dinners outside to get to see each other a bit...  perhaps not the best idea but we are hoping that being outdoors mitigates the risk...

The irony of the timing on all this is that it came so quickly on the heels of what was one of my best weekends ever.  So close that I'd not had even a moment to blog and capture the experience of my  "life as a music festival-er" for those amazing few days:  Seeing the Indigo Girls at Cain Park (from the front row!) with Nat and our Heights community, then flying to Chattanooga and spending two days drinking craft beer and listening to live music in the sun with my sister and a dear college friend (and seeing the Indigo Girls from the front row again!)... it really was amazing, no lie. While I wish (and wish and wish) my family did not have Covid in the first place, I am so grateful that it does not seem to have originated from my unnecessary and risky travel.  And so once we get through this I will be able to go back and watch my pirated videos and look at the pictures and enjoy the experience properly.  But right now it makes me feel guilty to think about enjoying myself so much there, while my family was getting sick at home.  So more on that another time.

For now-- back to the work of monitoring sick people, caring for animals, cleaning, keeping myself healthy, and getting through this quarantine without losing my mind...

Fourteen

 This kid.  

He's fourteen and an official high school freshman.

He's impossibly tall and shyly handsome and funny and charming and sweet- when he wants to be.

He'd rather stay home and play Halo or Minecraft or Clash Royale or some other video game of the moment with his friends online-- but he's a good sport about family outings once we get out the door.  Like always, just add outdoors or water and he can't help but have fun. 

He's a heck of a swimmer and starts fall conditioning for the Heights High vasity team next week.  It's hard for me to wrap my mind around this athletic child of mine sometimes.

He's also  moody and mercurial and he mumbles and sometimes sneaks onto his screens in the middle of the night and more than sometimes drives us crazy. Because he's fourteen.  And sometimes a mom needs to breathe and remember that this is all completely developmentally normal, and that's a good thing!

I look (up, up up!) at this young man and I am sometimes overwhelmed with missing my squishy baby, my soft cheeked giggly boy, my serious 5th grader... and then I am equally overwhelmed with awe and excitement for the broad shouldered, witty, intelligent and insightful person he is becoming. And then I step back and take that breath and I see the baby, the little boy, the middler schooler- all still there in his crinkle eyed smile, his careful approach to life, his still-soft cheeks with the subtle dimple on the right.  And I love him so much it sometimes leaves me breathless.   

Fourteen years of loving this son of mine. Fourteen years of being constantly surprised and delighted as he grows and changes and leads me down this path of motherhood. I don't know how time has gone so fast-- but I see how my heart is so full. 

I can't wait to see where fourteen takes you, Jackie bear.