Well, here we are and I am here to say- parenting teenagers is pretty much the bomb.
Do I sometimes (often) miss those days of tiny hands in mine, soft round cheeks, naps and snacks and utter reliance on me? Sure. There is nothing quite like the way your tiny one needs you, to fill your heart.
Do I miss the exhaustion and depletion and tiny frustrations of those years? The waiting by they crib for baby to wake so we could go to the store, the 10 minutes of finagling in and out of carseats for every errand, the constant vigilance for their safety in each new environment. Not so much.
Plus, my teenagers are not just (increasingly) independent- they are also really cool humans in their own right. People I enjoy spending time with, funny and bright, who make me insanely proud every day.
Each stage has its own unique surprises and fulfillments, doesn't it?
And my sunshine girl is as beautiful as ever. Taller, and with more curls and less white-blond, but with that same fascinating combination of sweetness and tenacity that has been at her core from birth.
Ivy at fourteen is...
A lover of horses and her cat. Her two happy places are the barn and snuggled with Sunny in her clothing-lined nest of a room.
An absolute introvert. She draws energy from books (and animals) and solitude, and does not like to go anywhere that is crowded, including out to eat. She has a small, close friend group and likes it that way, and sees no reason to talk to other people or go places outside of her comfort zone. Which leads me to note that she is also...
Strong minded and tenacious in her opinions. Once Ivy has decided (quickly and with certainty) that is the way it shall be and there is no changing her mind. She knows herself and speaks her mind and does not tolerate fools. She does not believe in social smiling or hiding her thoughts to save other's feelings. But in the midst of all that strength, she is also...
Deeply kind and loving. Those perfectly customized gift bags for her friends. The quiet way she seeks out her parents to watch TV and chat (her preferred way to spend time with us). The care she puts in to her animals and her baking and her arts and crafts. Acts of service and gifts are Ivy's love language instead of hugs.
She is also highly creative, always teaching herself new techniques. Her favorite medium continues to be paint but she has added crochet (without a pattern!) to the list this year.
She is a voarcious reader, going through up to 3 books per week. Her favorite genres right now are young adult romance and fantasy.
She is a focused and accomplished student, finishing her 12th quarter on the Honor Roll in middle school. She loves her MSSP classes and Project Lead the Way, does well in but does not like math, and makes no bones about her dislike for Social Studies. Regardless you can count on her to be caught up on her work. She still eats lunch in the library -- a quiet place with books, another happy place for her. Next week is her final band concert, as she has decided not to continue Tuba in highschool, in preference for art classes and CCP courses. Ambitious girl. She's also not going to conitnue with the COYC next year. A disappointment to me, mainly because I know how much joy music and theater brought me in high school and I want those things for her. But one of the fun things about motherhood is seeing how your kids turn out to be absoulutely themselves, from day one. And it is ok if her Self is very different from me. (As long as she still finds her joy)
I do miss the days of my sunshine girl snuggling for long hugs (remember how I thought she'd cosleep FOREVER) and asking for just one more song, one more book, one more air-kiss from the doorway at night... but I am so immensly proud of the independent, articulate, strong willed young adult that, at fourteen, she is just on the cusp of becoming.
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