Day 59...Spring Socializing (May 19)

This week marked the greening of our front garden, with hostas coming into their glory.  It also marked the week we started to relax some of our own social distancing, in tandem with the "reopening" of Ohio that started this week.  Patio dining and retail stores are opening up but we've continued to stick close to home and for the most part, our "new normal" routine.  But lovely, warming weather brings more opportunities for outdoor socialization.

Like meetups at Coventry park and frisbee with a friend...

...windy- day trips to the beach with kite flying and hiding in the dunes...

... and porch picnics with besties.  Ivy tried at least 4 new foods in the lunch vio brought for her from Stone Oven... oh the power of peer pressure!

 The girls also played in the backyard and washed the porch for me.... 10 year olds are ok sometimes!

.. and even 6 miles with a running friend-- distanced the whole time, of course!

While I am fine not rushing back to life as usual, and still keeping my focus on my family's health... I've got to admit that being around other humans feels amazing.

Day 54 - Summer Dreams

After a cold, wet, SNOWY start to our week, the past few days have been a breath of springtime.  Mid 60's with soft, warm rain off and on throughout the day, trees bursting into full leaf, blossoms blazing with pinks and purples against the sky.  Days that make you think summertime could actually happen.

But we are not there yet.  Still in the trenches of this strange, surreal school year.  The end is is sight but the workload has not lightened up yet.  We have sunk into the rythm of our school days, which continue to involve a lot of sleeping in and even more nagging and cajoling of children to do their work and finally giving in and letting them retreat to their screens.  Nat has finished his semester but my teaching days have gotten longer as I spend more and more time searching through missing work and incomplete assessments to see if anything has been turned in, and sending list after list of assignments to parents and students.  This is what teaching has become in the age of Corona.  On the plus side I have finally been able to connect and have at least one online learning session with all 14 of my students!  It only took 8 weeks! (this is so hard!) 

There are things to enjoy even in the trenches, of course. High points of the week have included the three crazy kittens-- the most social and adorable tiny things ever, they have been an amazing distraction. Also I've been enjoying cooking new recipes just about every other day.  We are blessed to have access to delicious, fresh ingredients that can be combined into amazingness.

Kittens make online school more fun but decidedly less productive. 

Jack loves Walter, the tiniest kitten.

Sweet potato tacos!  Crazy good.

 Also our wonderful middle school teachers did a driving parade on Wednesday so it was a great chance to stand around in the spring sunshine and then get all teary as we waved frantically at the cars full of teachers and their families, trying to impart all of our gratitude to them through our smiles...

 And!  We have a robin nesting in our trellis!  And one bird has visited my new bird feeder so, progress!

And I have two more tulips blooming and we just planted wildflower seeds in the back garden by the garage.  It's not ALL schoolwork all the time, I guess.. Just mostly.

We've been holding on to summer as this line of demarcation.  Something to look forward to and dream about.  Not that this is a new idea.  Our summer dreams get us through this impossibly long 4th quarter every year, don't they? But this year.  Oh, 2020.  The longest 4th quarter in know history, and summer dreams that have been vaporizing and vanishing at every turn.  Today Cleveland Heights announced that all summer programs are cancelled.  All of them.  Sports, Cain Park, block parties, the pool.  All of it.  For the whole summer. I was not surprised by this announcement.  I knew in my heart it was coming.  But it was a blow, to have it made official.  Turns out I'd been holding on to some of that summer dreaming deep in my heart, to get me through these monotonous days.

(Side note: Interestingly enough at his press conference today our Governor announced that pools, along with daycares and summer camps, can open with safety measures in place on May 31st.  Safety measures being things like 6 foot spacing and hourly disinfecting of all surfaces so I see why most public pools are not planning to open.  And honestly I am feeling deeply uncomfortable with the idea of opening just yet, when we are still at the top of our peak/plateau of cases.  I feel like it is an awful idea.  Even as I am bereft at the thought of continuing, interminably, to shelter-in-place.  It is ok to feel more than one thing...)


Because I am feeling a lot of things today, indulge me as I dwell on everything we have lost.  (caveat:  I know I am reveling in privelege all over the damn place because every.single.thing I am about to list is a luxury and I KNOW we are just fine and lucky and all that.  I know! but this is where I am right now)

Our road trip to California!  All that planning and dreaming.  Sigh.  Our kids' end of year concerts and awards assemblies and class picnics and celebrations.  Ivy's first sleep away camp. Jack's Reaching Heights Music camp. Tigersharks swimming. Soccer that seems to go way too long into the summer ... but why did I complain so much about it??  Afternoons at Cumberland Pool!  The luxury of just walking over there and cooling off and seeing friends, so easy! And all of the festivals that we feel overwhelmed by and try to go to every.single.one and can never manage to do it all?  Cancelled so there goes that problem.  The places we love to visit-- Botanical Gardens, Art Museum... closed. Our favorite beach-- too crowded to visit safely.  Parties and cookouts and just being with our groups of friends--nope. ( I miss our friends so much!)

I am struggling to see what is left of our summer without all of these things.  And as our summer plans evaporate so does my drive and motivation to finish this school year because how will our lives change anyways when school is done?  At least right now we  have a structure to our days-- such as it is-- and things to get done and accomplish-- such as they are.  What will happen to us with that removed?   Will we completely morph into screen-bound slugs, retreating en masse to the cool of the basement as we tune out to our respective electronic addictions?  This is not the summer dream I had in mind.

So!  New plans!  Right now we see two good options.  One-- stay close to home (REALLY close to home) and immerse ourselves in chickens and gardening and all those home and yard improvments we never have time to do.  Maybe if we're feeling like risk takers we have a couple friends over and stand 6 feet apart with masks on for a campfire.  We try to make the best of EVEN MORE ENFORCED FAMILY QUALITY TIME (is it still quality when it comes in endless quantities??) and put in the work needed to structure our days and keep kids off screens while not going anywhere.  Parts of this scenario seem so lovely and wholesome but you guys, we are just not good at not going anywhere.  We eat each other by 10 am without diversions!  I have a deep sense that this plan might not go well for us...

Option Two-- spend an inordinate amount of time at Farley's. (again, how lucky are we, that we have this other place we can go??) Even though it won't be the same (how do you socially-distance cousins and Farley's friends? It will be so strange...) there are some definite bonuses:  a lake to swim in, boats to play with, space in the front lawn to place chairs 6-10 feet apart for acceptable happy hours, and the fact that we don't really have a history of "going places" all the time while we are there, so perhaps the feelings of loss would not be so intense.   I've always harbored a dream of spending so long at the Point that I need to have my mail forwarded there.  Maybe this is the year?

Option Three (not a GOOD option but I'm not taking it off the table)-- We buy a $2500 1973 RV painted in Cleveland Browns colors and drive around the country all self-contained like little turtles, only emerging in National Parks and to shop or do laundry.  There are a million reasons why this is a terrible idea... but oh!  It would be memorable!

2020, you can do a lot of things, but you can't stop me from summer-dreaming!

Birthday Girl (Or, Day 50)

Double Digits!  Somehow, impossibly, my tiny baby girl is ten years old.  Still as fierce and funny as ever, this ten year old loves animals and bike riding and reading and her best friends and watching ANYTHING on television.  She asks questions and seeks fairness and feels deeply-- SO very deeply-- and this quarantine has been tough on her little pre-tween self.  Her sadness and loss comes out as anger-- towards us and especially towards her brother-- and some days this ten year old is a lot for this (also deeply-feeling, also sad) mama to handle...yet, I wouldn't trade her sensitive heart, questioning mind and fighting spirit for anything.  My sunshine girl is still in there amidst all the shadows.

Ten year old Ivy is starting to seek independence. She loves to help cook and no longer asks for help getting out of the shower, and she goes to bed without a lullabye mosts nights.  But she still sleeps with lights on and loves to snuggle and wants us with her when she tries new things.  Sometimes she is so very mature, brave and confident and articulate, and sometimes she wants to giggle and play and be so very young.  She is experimenting with makeup but still refuses to brush her hair most days.  She's starting down the road to puberty and may get there before Jack at the rate they both are going.  I look at her and I see the "tween" but also my little sweetheart.  Such an interesting, in between moment of her life, this "10"...

Approximately 24 hours before my girl's birthday I had the sudden realization that just because we can't have a giant themed party this year, I could still probably manage to put up a few decorations.   Up until that moment I'd done nothing but accumulate some presents.  Apparently my over-the-top party planning mojo is completely dependent on the approval and admiration of people outside my own family...

Here's what we managed to pull together for Ivy's quaran-birthday:

Resurrected a few banners from birthday's past, Nat braved target for crepe paper, and we blew up lots of balloons.

 Nat made a scavenger hunt puzzle to have Ivy hunt for her presents...

 At least I remembered to make her annual photo collage...

 Sweet girl played along with the hunt very well, and got the clues instantly (miss smartie pants!)

 And when she got back in the dining room her brother had made her presents appear!  He noted that its pretty fun to help plan and prepare for a party. :)

 Winter enjoyed being along for all the action, of course.

 In addition to her new bike, girlie was spoiled with new Harry Potter themed bedding for her room,

 Lol Surprise dolls (she shared the "joys" of opening with her brother!)

... and some hot rollers, some "make your own squishies" and a bed curtain/net to round out the gifts.

There are a few blessings to having your birthday on quarantine.  One of the biggest is being able to spend all day-- literally, all day-- in your pajamas.  Also we have all day together to finish up "party prep" with few distractions. 

This year Ivy designed, baked, and did a great deal of the decorating for her own cake.  Many thanks to her friend who delivered an early birthday gift on Friday which included beautiful food coloring and cake decorating tips!

We also decorated the yard and had the added joy of random honking all day... followed each time by a "woohoo!" from Nat.  Kept things festive from start to finish.

Even when it snowed.  Another blessing of this birthday-- it would  NOT have been a good day to host 20 people for a backyard party.

Right in the middle of the sudden blizzard, some beautiful friend of ours drove over to leave a chalk message and deliver beautiful gifts.  And more friends came by the next day too.  I love our village.

After dinner (cheeseless un-baked lasagna, Ivy's recipe) we hosted a Zoom party for some of Ivy's biggest fans.  We were able to sing together and watch the girl blwo out her candles and most of our party guests came prepared with dessert to eat together.  Ivy opened her gifts and cards with gratitude and it was a sweet time together, even being apart.

And then yesterday we continued the celebration by picking up 3 foster kittens (thank you Universe for the perfect timing) so here's hoping Ivy will remember this surreal and strange day of celebration fondly in years to come.

Day 47 -- May Days

As we sink further into our shelter-in-place, and it all begins to feel normal... I find myself with very little to say.  There are bits of news and research and change that pop up each day, but nothing earth-shifting, like it used to be.  We are adapting to our new way of life and it turns out that this way of life does not make for particularly eventful blogging!  As our emotions even out and adapt too, I find myself not needing the same amount of verbal reflection.  So I think posts will be spread out.  And maybe not labeled by the day any more because its getting hard to keep track!

It's May!  Almost a full week into it as I write this!   The flowering trees in the Heights are glorious and everything in sight is spring green and brilliant, even on (frequent) cloudy days.  May in Cleveland is perfection.  (except for the forecasted snow on Friday, that is...

Ivy and I delivered a few May Day baskets to neighbors on the first.  I am glad one of my kiddos can be convinced to jump into crafts and new traditions.  She took the arrangement of flowers very seriously...

Nothing like an evening like this to start the month...

Euclid beach is great for social distance...

We also explored down by Euclid creek... a new area for us at this park.  It was magical, with deer and herons and spring-greenery in the evening light.

Saturday adventure:  hiking in the Bedford Metroparks.  We do this hike at least 2 times a year and it is always nice to visit with our memories of living in Bedford, and doing this hike with little one in backpacks...

Sweetness... this great tall boy still likes to hold our hands and snuggle at random moments...

Sadly our hike ended in strife because our two kiddos can't seem to spend time together without incessant arguing.  We had to hike back up in twos to keep them apart and keep the peace.  This is Ivy's "I'm angry at my brother" face.  Which is pretty much the norm about 75% of the time these days.  Sigh.  As Ivy has noted, "there's a lot going on right now."  Have to remember that as crazy as this time and all the changes seem to me, its exponentially harder for these kiddos, whose worlds are smaller and even more rocked.  The struggle is real.

More lake time...  Despite these spacious-looking pictures, Rocky River beach was packed and people seemed to be far less concerned with social distance than in the past.  The good weather makes it easy to forget that there is a pandemic going on...

Returned the next day to meet my mom and Pip.   Sunny and 70 degrees!

The chickens are loving the sunshine and have even started laying again.

They pose with flowers.  I love our chickens.

It's Teacher Appreciation week and we are definitely appreciating our educators right now, as they soldier along with us through these trenches and all the strangeness of this school year.  What with distance learning, the traditional bringing of donuts and lunch isn't an option, so giant chalk-art thanks will have to do the trick.  I realized I don't have a good way of sending in thank-you notes and even end of year gifts to the wonderful professionals who have give my kiddos so much.  Just another sadness to add to the list.

And here we are again, in the midweek crunch, splitting our time between trying (vainly) to keep up with our teaching and trying (vainly) to coerce the children into finishing their to-do lists and take showers and practice instruments and eat produce.  I've been getting out for a run most days, and keeping the house at a basic level of cleanliness but all those other projects-- and even keeping up with data collection and paperwork for my job-- just aren't happening on "school days" these days.  It's wild how busy it feels to be home "doing nothing."  I find myself amazed and disbelieving that we managed, just a couple of months ago, to do MORE than this.  How did we do it, work and school and choirs and sports and museums and friends and the continual shopping?  What an exhausting world that must have been...