Thoughts...

Apparently writing and finishing a narrative post for the blog is eluding me... so here is a little list of noticings and happenings and thoughts from the past few days:

* Ivy's one week birthday was on Saturday. We celebrated by propping her in her green chair with a stuffed bear. Ideally this activity will not be met with such a scrunched up face in future weeks.... here is the best shot of the lot. Amazingly, she has both eyes open here! It might actually have been more appropriate if she'd been asleep.


We continue to be unable to determine the exact color of Ivy's eyes. The best I can do is-- Steely blue laid over a mix of sand, moss, and glassy gray. At times they look black and bottomless, or turn into mirrors of the world around...

* Last night we did our first arts and crafts project as a family: hand and foot prints of both little ones, to hang in the nursery. I wish we'd had another adult on hand to capture the event on film, as we painted Ivy's hands and contorted ourselves to get them onto the paper... and she slept blissfully through it all. I must say, too, that she has got the most perfect feet in the world. Nat can do a mean baby footprint, and we have got some lovely momentos of this time in her life when her feet can be called little, and perfect. My son, incidentally, has got huge feet. Giant. Ivy's arrival seems to have caused him to have a major growth spurt or something. :)

Jack was leery of the foot painting at first (though he is an expert and hand prints and painted his own hand). Of course, after we'd done a foot print in black and in white, with him squirming and protesting, he said, "Let's do that again... its pretty fun!" Booger.

* In other Jack news, the kid has definitely made another verbal leap this week. The syntax and length of his sentences, and his overall vocabulary, astound me. That is, when he is not speaking in nonsense words, baby talk, or refusing to answer our questions entirely. That's another new development this week.

Here are some great things he's said:
On the car ride home from Melinda and Will's house the other night: "It's getting pretty late. When we get home, I watch videos, then books, then take a nap, that's right!"

"That's right!" is his new tag line for lots of things. It's hard to capture in words the way he says it, a little lilt to his voice, the words strung onto his sentence with barely a pause...

"It's magical for me!" --about some body wash in the bathtub.

"If you don't have any Purell, I can get some for you"-- said in the voice of the Purell bottle, of course, as he marched it around the table offering to make our hands clean like his, with the "tanitier". (We are getting a lot of use out of the sanitizer as Jack has come down with a nice little cold to celebrate Ivy's one-week birthday. Thank goodness for Benadryl at night.)

* Ivy's new developments include sleeping a lot. This child continues to be very serious about sleep. During the day, that is. Right now, for instance, she is blissfully asleep, on he back, arms flung wide, in her pack and play. Of course the little rule breaker is covered by a loose blanket so that probably helps. At night, when we attempt to recreate this scene she immediately begins to grunt and squeak and make strange little dinosaur noises until we bring her in bed with us, when she conks out again. We've found, oddly, that she is sleeping better when she is NOT swaddled. This is strange, no? Tonight, we may try just dressing her warmly and flopping her in the pack and play the way she is right now, and see how it goes. Not that I can really complain. I am up more often for continued itching than I am to deal with her overnight. Nat has been taking her out to the living room during her nightly alert time, which happens at varying times between 11pm and 3am, and I get an hour or more of baby-free sleep. And when she is in bed with me, she really does sleep well, 2-4 hour stretches. I sleep lightly with her there, but sleep is sleep.

Thinking of sleeping babies-- time to go wake this one to make her eat. Weird kid. :)

the best part of the day...

Afternoon naps, curled up next to this.

Off to go do that now...

more pics....

days 3-6...

First Doctor's Appointment

We have just returned home from Ivy's first pediatrician appointment. Well, actually it was a lactation consultant appointment. That's how cool our practice is.

We are pleased to report that little girl is back above her birth weight-- by a grand total of .2 ounces-- weighing in today at 7 pounds, 9.6 ounces. Yep, she's a rock star. That's a gain of over 5 ounces since midday Monday. I am pretty impressed with her.

She continues to be a pretty easy pumpkin. We tried having her sleep for a bit in the pack and play last night. With diligent maintenance (shushing, jiggling the crib, pacifier) we did get her to sleep for a few 10 minute stretches between 9 and 11. Then we brought her into bed where she passed out for 2-3 hours at a time. The girl likes our bed, apparently. We got permission today to let her stretch out her nighttime feeds, which is great. Had to work pretty hard to get her to wake up to eat at 4am last night, which is rather counter-intuitive behavior.

Right now she is crashed out in the moses basket on the couch next to me, looking adorable in her brown fleece sleeper. (yes, a fleece sleeper in May-- it has been in the 50s and rainy since we've been home. Bleh.) Not a bad life. Nat has the boy out at group at the Parent Center. Hopefully he is having a grand time there; he deserves it as the appointment was not much fun for him. Boring toys in the exam room AND he managed to both fall down the stairs in the tree house and shut his hand in a door while we were there. Poor pumpkin. He actually looks kind of tough with the bit of rug burn next to his eye...

4 days

Today Ivy is 4 days old already. We have been home for 2. It seems like much longer than that! I am not sure if that is because Ivy seems like such a natural part of the family already... or because of how trying our little boy has been and how tired we are!

There are good parts and not so good parts to our days. The good parts:
When Jack comes in to the room in the morning and he and Ivy and lay in bed together for a while. When Ivy and I nap together in the afternoon, skin to skin cuddliness and warmth. When Ivy is fussing and then, the moment I pick her up, she quiets in my arms. The look on her face when she finishes nursing, all contentment and innocence. The smell of her little head and the perfect shape of her feet. The way Jack gives her eskimo kisses and touches her so gently-- during the 30 seconds at a time he is interested in her, that is!

The not-so-good parts: When Jack refuses to (fill in the blank: eat, pick something up, follow another direction, stop doing something, give the dog her rawhide, walk down the stairs, etc etc etc-- the list could go on) and we get upset with him. When we can't decide quite what to do with the baby at night-- are we co-sleeping again (it does seem we are...) or are we going to stick to our guns and keep trying her in her crib? The frustration that comes with not getting enough sleep and being out of our routine. How edgy we all are with each other, not used to being together so often, or in such a new way.

Overall, the "baby" part of this is easy. SO much easier the second time around. In fact I cannot quite comprehend what we were complaining about, how we thought it was so difficult, when we just had one little newborn Jack in our lives. Ivy continues to be a spectacularly easy baby, so far (though we did see a bit more alert time this evening and 1-3 minutes of fussing, rather than the continuous sleep she has been doing). But I think the biggest factor is how much more relaxed we are about her, how our expectations have adjusted for her. I am having a hard time being dilligent about charting her ins and outs; we just trust we are doing all right (we'll hopefully get confirmation of this tomorrow at our 4 day pedi follow up appointment). Remember how spastic we were with recording every detail of Jack's existence? How spastic we were with him in general?

Sadly the person who always bears the brunt of our expectations continues to be little man Jack. Poor firstborn. We haven't yet been able to adjust our expectations for him, it seems. We know, rationally, that his behavior changes since we've been home are normal, expected. Yet we still seem to be continually impatient and frustrated with him, as he vies for attention, purposefully pushes our buttons, talks back-- and did I mention refuses to eat? In some ways he seems so very grown up- he walks! he talks!-- but his dependence on us in underscored by the little misbehaviors he engages in all day, to ensure we are still noticing him. Poor sweetheart. This is what I need to work on, being more understanding of him and how difficult this must be for him, how he is feeling. To try to understand his behavior and accept it and then figure out how to deal with it, rather than just jumping to a "stop it!" response right away.

And in the midst of this are baths to give, meals to prepare, a bathroom and a refrigerator that are really in need of some bathroom-and-refrigerator-cleaning fairies... I am feeling a bit better each day but not yet up to housework, or much of the rest of it. I did manage to tuck in my boy tonight while Nat worked with little girl on spending time in her crib. It was nice to return to that bit of routine and remember what an amazing, smart little man we have as we compared and discussed diggers and tractors together. We'll settle in, eventually.

She's here!!

Ivy Jane Morehouse

Welcome to Jack and Ivy's blog!

Jack's sister arrived on Saturday, May 8th at 5:42pm, weighing just 7 pounds 9 ounces (she seems so tiny!!) and measuring 20 inches long. We had a really amazing labor experience; for those who care to read it, I am including Ivy's birth story below...

We came home from the hospital yesterday evening and we are gradually adjusting to our new lives as a family of four. Jack had a fun weekend with his Lulu and Gramgram but certainly missed mom and dad, as evidenced by a bit of an eating strike and a case of diareah and diaper rash (which he NEVER gets). So he's been a bit on the whiny side and "recovering" himself since we've been home. It's also got to be hard for him to have this strange, tired, emotional version of his mom around. I feel bad that I cannot move around and play with him the way I want to, and Nat and I both admit we've been a bit snippier with the boy than we'd like to be. Of course, to our credit, he has been a bit needier and edgier and pushing-the-limits-er than he usually is. Lots of "WHY??" and "I don't WANT to" when we ask him to do things... Lots, too, of precious and perfect moments, when he reaches out a little hand (but such a BIG hand) to touch Ivy's hand and say "What's the matter, baby?" in absolutely the sweetest voice you can imagine. He asks to hold "my baby" often and offers to share his food with her constantly. What a sweetheart. Last night I tried to explain to him that Ivy is just too little to eat pizza yet. So Jack carefully broke off the tiniest piece possible and said, "here, this is little like my tister!" I do love him so.

But who would think I would say that the newborn is the easy one!!

Ivy really is a ridiculously easy baby so far. Knock on wood! I know it will change soon, she is just in that "sleepy newborn" stage but really-- she sleeps pretty much all the time. If she fusses, we either move her into an upright position to produce a burp (she really is that easy to burp!), hold her or pat her for a moment, say "shhh" or feed her... and back out she goes. I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more of her eyes someday but I am also not going to complain about this behavior right now.
Well, we did see a lot of her eyes last night between 11 and 2. Since we were home, and it was night, it was time to be awake! We had good intentions of having her sleep in her pack in play from night one, since we did send her to the nursery except for feeds at the hospital. We thought we could just continue that trend, of her sleeping on her own in a contained space. But she just couldn't maintain a continuous sleep in there last night and by 2, she was in bed with us, where she proceeded to sack out for 3 solid hours and sleep through her next "scheduled" feeding... Guess we are co-sleeping again, for now. She is a really nice thing to snuggle up with, so it's not all bad...
She is breastfeeding like a champ. She has a very fierce latch which we'll have to work on once its not such a fight to wake her for feedings. My milk came in yesterday, 48 hours after birth! I was not prepared for that! wow. So I am a bit uncomfortable as Miss Teeny-tiny here can't quite keep up with what is being produced. But this too shall pass. It is so amazingly easy and relaxed, feeding this second child. I am sorry for Jack that he had to deal with such neurotic and nervous parents! We charted everything that poor child did! With Ivy I have a hard time keeping up a few check marks for her wet and poopy diapers. I am just not worried...! Weird. She only lost 5 ounces in the hospital so I think we are OK.

Ok, so here is the Birth Story. (careful, "too much information" alert)

At my appointment on Friday the 7th, we had decided to be induced on Sunday May 9th. I was so very uncomfortable because of the PUUPs rash, and it was our due date, and we could have Shellie deliver us again. It just seemed right so I was willing to forgo my goal of avoiding an induction, just to get this show on the road. We were hopeful things would go more smoothly this time as I was already 3cm and 50% effaced. We'd been to the zoo that morning and Friday night Ihad a bunch of contractions and I hoped things would be well along by Sunday.
Well, little Miss had plans of her own and my water broke at 2am on Saturday May 8th. (We had, interestingly, had quite a thunder-and-hail storm Friday evening and we were later told by a few nurses at Labor and Delivery that they always see a spike in babies born around the time of big storms...) I had a strange sense of deja vu as this was, to the hour, when my water had broken with Jack. While of course I had a surge of excitement -- this is it! here we go!-- I was also disappointed. We had made some lovely plans for a sushi lunch and desert at Presti's and a family dinner on Saturday. AND, I really wanted Shellie to deliver this baby! AND with my water breaking first, again, and no sign of contractions at that time, I just knew we would have to have pitocin again and I could feel my hopes of having a natural delivery evaporating. I didn't wake Nat right away, but rather got a few last minute chores and tidying done around the house, then called the midwives to check that it would be OK for us to wait to come in at a more reasonable hour, as we needed to arrange care for Jack. Then I dressed myself with a towel in my pants :), updated Nat, and we tried to get a few hours of sleep.
We called my mom at around 5:30 to come over and stay with Jack, and decided we would try to leave before he woke up, to keep our exit simpler. By 6:30 we were en route to the hospital. Checking in was delightfully easy and we were taken directly to our Birthing Suite-- no triage room this time! We met our nurse, Linda, who would be with us all day (we were to be her only patients, it turned out!!). She was fabulous, a big woman with 18 years of experience and a wonderful, no nonsense attitude. There had been a bit of a miscommunication with midwives because we happened to check in right at shift change ( I think that happened with Jack too!) so we ended up with a few rather boring hours of not having contractions, nothing happening, just waiting. At least we actually had windows in our room this time so we listened to music, read, enjoyed the view.. Cindy came in around 10 and we talked about options with her. We decided to try doing some walking around the wing to see if we could get contractions going (yep, you got it, just what we tried with Jack) before just getting going on the Pitocin (sigh) so we could get this show on the road. I really didn't want to be down to the wire with our 24 hour time clock again. We had a lovely hour hoofing it around a loop through the maternity floor, peeking in the nursery (TONS of babies-- 17 had been born here on Friday!). But alas, no regular contractions, no change in the cervix since the day before. So at 11:00 the Pitocin started. CIndy did give us some hope, saying often, especially with second births, your body would take over and we might be able to turn the Pitocin off at a certain point. We went into it with that hope. For the next few hours, it was almost boring in the room. My contractions increased but were very manageable; I was even able to doze off in between contractions for a while. Outside, the weather was changeable. We watched the wind in the trees, some sun, some rain. I got my second dose of antibiotics started, the goal with being GBS positive, and we joked that the baby could come any time now! By 2:00 the contractions were getting more intense to the point that I really had to focus and control my breathing to stay on top of each one. I asked to be checked to see what kind of progress we might be making. Turns out-- not much. Over the first 3 hours on Pitocin I progressed from a 3 to a 4, and 50%-80% effaced. Cindy and Linda seemed to think this was just fine but I have to tell you I was in tears at this point, thinking that this was VERY slow process and that I wouldn't be up for another 12 hours of labor. It was too similar to what happened with Jack, where it WAS a very slow process and my progress slowed and that was when I caved and got the epidural..
It was at this time that Shellie stopped by-- she was at the hospital for something else and heard we were there and came by to check on us. She was encouraging and told me not to give up, that often the body would just kick in and progress could speed up a lot. Another encouraging thing at this time was that Linda brought in the delivery cart and set up all the "tools". As though she expected something to be going on by the end of her shift at 7:00... So on we went.
Between 2 and 4 they upped the pitocin a few times and the contractions were getting very intense. We used the birthing ball with a lot of success; it helped to move my hips around with contractions. Nat was fabulous at reminding me to focus, to not fight the pain, to breathe. At 4:00 we asked to be checked again; we were at a 6, and 100% effaced. I knew rationally that this was good progress but I also couldn't imagine going through another 4 cm worth of progress with the sort of pain I was in at that point. The contractions were increasingly close and I was shaking and having a hard time relaxing in between each one. In retrospect I am pretty sure I was heading right into transition at that point. But at the moment I was in tears again and pretty sure I was going to have to ask for an epidural soon. Then, Cindy suggested we stop the Pitocin, she had been watching my contractions increase when they hadn't been increasing the Pitocin, and she thought my body was taking over on its own. Thank goodness for that! They unhooked me from the IV and the monitors and we took off for the shower. I labored in the shower for 45 minutes, under very, very hot water. It worked well to hold the handicap bars in the shower stall to brace and move in any way that worked to get through each contraction. There was the most unbeleivable pressure in my bottom during each contraction. I found that making more noise with my breathing helped get through them. A profound, delicious sense of relief came after each contraction, which though it didn't last long, was what got me through, I think. After 45 minutes I was really warm (go figure) and my legs were tired and we decided to come out of the shower. We tried all - fours on the bed which was an OK position but the contractions were sooo much more intense out of the shower and I was starting to feel the urge to push. Cindy checked me and we were at a 9!!! A 9!!! I was laughing with relief which was really hard to do during a contraction! I had progressed 3 cm in 45 minutes and the end was in sight! In fact, they said no more shower for me as things might go very quickly and they wanted me near the bed...

Well things did progress quickly! As we struggled to find some position that worked to get through the contractions, Cindy checked me again pronounced me a 10 and asked me to think about what position I wanted to deliver in. I wanted to help pull the baby out so we decided on the traditional in-the-bed, legs up pose and before long they were asking me to push. Nat said it was something out of those childbirth videos, the screaming before each push. I couldn't help it-- it just came out. Pushing was both a relief and incredibly intense and painful. It was unbelievable how much I really could feel the progress of the baby down the birth canal. Everyone in the room was yelling and yelling for me to hold my breath and push, and again. Tremendous excitement and I knew we were really doing it, even as a part of me didn't think I could do it. It hurt so much! I pushed through 3 contractions, then Cindy told me to listen very carefully to her as the baby crowned, and she would tell me when to push and when to wait. Then there was an intense burning pain and she asked me to pant through it and not push, then then give a little push-- and then everything changed and I knew her head was out. They told me to push again and to reach down and grab my baby and I helped to pull her up onto my belly and her shoulders came out and suddenly everything felt better. I pushed for only 8 minutes before Ivy came into the world at 5:42pm!
Things got a little scary at this point because she wasn't crying yet, and she was rather a dark color and I started to freak out. Cindy told me, oh so calmly, that the cord had been wrapped around her neck and this was why she wasn't crying yet, but not to worry. They took her to the warmer and suctioned her and in a few seconds she did start crying, a little mewing cry. It seemed like forever until they brought her back to me.. but she was pink and wiggling and perfect. She scored a 9 and 9 on her APGAR even with the cord issue! She was wonderfully alert and when we breastfed she latched on perfectly, like she'd been practicing. It was amazing.
The unexpected drawback to natural childbirth was not how much it hurt during delivery-- I expected that!-- but how much it hurt after. Horrible cramping, getting a number of stitches (I had a 2nd degree tear because the pushing stage was so short)--ugh. It really interfered with just enjoying those first moments with my baby. They did give me some Tylenol3 and Motrin so I was feeling a bit better--if a bit loopy-- by the time our family came in to visit at 7:30. All in all it was a really wonderful birth experience and I am so glad I was able to acheive my goal of a natural birth in spite of being on pitocin!